Infidelity
by Violet2389
Summary: Bella is in a relationship with Edward but craves more. She feels the spark is lost between her and Edward...which is where Carlisle comes into play.
1. Chapter 1

*Sigh.* I really don't have time for ANOTHER fan fic…but Carlisle is so dreamy So, in this one, they are ALL human. It's set in present time, aaaaaand it's rated M for a reason or a couple….OH AND! There is no Esme, you'll understand in a bit how everything comes together…

Infidelity

Chapter 1: Injuries

"Shit! Bella are you okay?" Edward asked.

I looked down at my wrist that was dripping with blood, and a wave of nausea rolled through me.

"How did that happen?" I asked, fighting a gag.

"I don't know, you were just cutting the chicken…did your knife slip?" he asked, passing me a thick dish towel to keep the blood from falling onto the raw chicken for Charlie's dinner.

"Come on, I'll drive you to the hospital. I think my dad's working tonight. He should be able to get us in right away." Edward said, leading me out of the house.

I tried not to sigh. Edward's dad was gorgeous. Every single time I talked to him I got flustered and raced through my words.

"Wait," I said, stopping. "Can you leave Charlie a note? Letting him know what happened?"

Edward nodded. "Yea, the car doors are unlocked. I'll be out in a few."

I nodded and clumsily made my way over to Edward's shiny silver Volvo. I wasn't very balanced when the ground was dry and I had both my hands to help keep me balanced, now that I didn't have either hand free, and the ground was slick with rain, it was horrible trying to keep my balance.

I got into the car and waited for Edward. I slowly peeled away the dish towel and looked at my wrist. I could tell I'd need stitches just from how the gash looked. Before I could let the sight of my blood get to me, I covered it again, and stared at my front door, waiting for Edward.

I thought about how Edward didn't have a mother. It made me feel bad that his, Emmett's, and Alice's adoptive mother, Esme, had died in a fatal car accident a year or so after they had been adopted.

I couldn't help but also feel bad for Carlisle. Other than the company of his children, and their significant others, he had no one.

Edward walked out of my house, carrying my jacket. I closed my eyes, feeling stupid. How had I forgotten it?

He got in the driver's seat, and wrapped my coat around my shoulders.

I smiled. "Thanks."

"No problem." He said. "I figured you were a bit distracted when you left the house."

"Yeah." I nodded, keeping pressure on my wound.

"I called my dad, he said it's slow day and we'll be able to get you fixed up right away." He said. "And I left a note for your dad, and wrapped up the chicken."

"Thanks." I said as he pulled out of my driveway.

I watched him concentrating on the road. When I thought about it, Edward was a great boyfriend, but I felt like the spark between us was gone. When we first got together we seemed so _in love_. Now, it was as if the magic had disappeared.

We pulled into the hospital parking lot, and I felt my heart rate increase. This was what always happened when I knew that I would be seeing Dr. Cullen.

Edward led me into the hospital, and the god-like doctor greeted us. He told Edward to wait out in the living room, and I followed Dr. Cullen into one of the rooms, and sat at the edge of the bed.

"So, Isabella, what happened?" he asked, sitting on a chair with wheels, and coming in front of me. He held out his hand, and I extended my arm to him.

"Well, I was making my dad some dinner, cutting chicken, and I guess the knife slipped, and I cut myself." I said with a sigh.

He peeled the dish towel away from my wrist and examined it.

"You got yourself pretty good." He said with a laugh.

I smiled. "Yeah, I know. I figured I'd need stitches."

"Good call Dr. Swan." He chuckled.

I bit my lip and watched as he rolled away to get the supplies needed to stitch me up.

When he rolled back I tried to keep my eyes trained on the window behind him, but my eyes wandered to his face.

I couldn't help it. He was gorgeous.

"Does this hurt at all, Isabella?" he asked softly, looking at me.

I shook my head. "Not at all."

"Good." He murmured, looking back down at my wrist.

We were quiet as he stitched me up.

"Finished." He said. "I'm just going to put a tensor on it to let the stitches set better and help them heal quicker.

I nodded as he wrapped the tensor bandage around my wrist.

For some odd reason I had always felt that Dr. Cullen had some sort of feelings for me. I know it was crazy, but sometimes the way he looked at me just made me think that he wanted more than just a father of the guy I'm dating relationship with me.

I knew I was probably just trying to psych myself out, but it didn't hurt to dream, right?

He finished with my arm and helped me off the hospital bed.

"Thank you, Dr. Cullen." I said.

He chuckled. "Isabella, you're at my house more than I am most of the time, you can call me Carlisle."

"Then call me Bella." I blurted, and then slapped my good hand over my mouth. Had I _really _just said that?

He chuckled. "I'll remember that."

I rushed to the door, but froze when he spoke again.

"Oh, I meant to ask you, how are those birth control pills doing for you?" he asked.

I turned and felt my face heat.

"Very good, thanks." I mumbled.

"Let me know if they make you feel bad, or if you have any bad side effects, okay?" he said.

I nodded, and left the hospital room.

It was bad enough Edward had asked Carlisle to get me some birth control pills, but it was even worse that he knew the private details of our relationship.

I went out to the waiting room to see Edward lounging on a chair. When he saw me he got up and stretched.

"You okay?" he asked.

I nodded. "Your dad did an amazing job."

"Where's your jacket?" he asked.

I looked around the waiting room, and then groaned. "I guess I left it in there. I'll be right back."

I turned around to go back into the hospital room, and walked right into Carlisle. His arm caught my back before I could topple over onto the floor.

"Sorry Carlisle, I just needed my jacket." I said, straightening.

"Right here." He said with a smile, handing my jacket to me.

"Thanks." I mumbled. "I'll see you later, at the house, for the sleepover Alice is having."

"Oh right." He said. "Well, see you later."

I nodded and followed Edward out of the hospital. Once we were in the car, he turned to look at me.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

I nodded. "Fine."

"You aren't in any pain though, right?" he asked.

I nodded. "I'm fine."

"Do you need any painkillers?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Edward, if I need anything your dad is going to be at the house tonight. If I feel uncomfortable I can just talk to him."

"Okay." He said, relaxing a bit. "I think I should finish cooking your dad's dinner."

I nodded. "Yeah, good idea."

He laughed as we pulled into the driveway.

He led me into my house where I went up to my bedroom to finish packing my overnight bag and Edward cooked Charlie's dinner. Tonight I was spending the night at the Cullen house while the guys (Emmett, Edward and Jasper, Alice's boyfriend) went to Jasper's house to watch some big football game, drink, and play video games. They wouldn't be in any shape to drive to the Cullen house after, so they were spending the night at Jasper's. Rosalie, Emmett's girlfriend, was also spending the night with us.

I threw my things into my bag, and slung it over my shoulder, and went downstairs to the smell of chicken cooking, and the sound of Charlie's footsteps coming up the front steps.

He opened the door with his police coat still on.

"Hey Bells." He greeted me, walking into the kitchen with me. "What's cooking?"

I shrugged. "Ask Edward. He's cooking; I hurt myself cutting the chicken for you."

"Smells good, Edward." Charlie complimented.

"It's stir fry." Edward said.

Charlie nodded and sat down at the kitchen table.

"So Bells, tonight's your sleepover?" he asked.

"Yup." I said.

"Don't do anything stupid tonight." He warned.

"My dad will be there." Edward said, putting the stir fry on a plate. "Alice wouldn't dare try anything under his watch."

I fought the urge to snort at that. Alice knew how to hide things from Carlisle, either that or he didn't mind us drinking a little bit during sleepovers.

Yeah, I was pretty sure Carlisle always knew what we were doing when we got together, he probably just didn't want to comment on it.

Edward and I left my house and he drove to the Cullen house.

I was always shocked by how huge it was.

The Cullens had a lot of money. When Esme died, all of her stocks in the stock market, and all of the money in her bank accounts went to the family. It also didn't hurt that Carlisle was a doctor, and Alice was amazing at picking lottery numbers.

We went into the house where Alice hugged me, and took my bag from me.

About ten minutes after I arrived, Rosalie showed up, and Edward and Emmett left.

We ordered Chinese food and went up to Alice's room after it arrived and we had put some of it in the fridge for Carlisle when he got home.

Up in Alice's room, she pulled a bottle of vodka out of her bag and we each passed the bottle around, taking a swig out of it.

I heard the front door open.

"Alice! Your dad!" I hissed.

She stowed the bottle away and picked up a box of chow mein.

Carlisle knocked on Alice's bedroom door.

"Come in!" she said.

Carlisle opened the door and poked his head in.

"You girls okay?" he asked.

We nodded.

"Great thanks." I said, holding my arm up to him and smiling.

"Dad, there's some Chinese food in the fridge for you." Alice said.

"Thanks, Alice." Carlisle said, and closed the bedroom door.

Alice pulled the bottle out again and took a long swig.

She sighed and ate another forkful of her chow mein.

After we ate, and were all a little bit tipsy, we made our way down to the basement where Alice had set up two futons and one air mattress.

I slid onto a futon, and made myself comfortable.

Alice put on a horror movie, and I fell asleep halfway through it, though I was sure that Rosalie and Alice had done the same.

When I woke up, I looked at the digital clock and saw that it was three thirty in the morning.

I sighed and threw the blankets off of me. My throat was unbearably dry.

In the darkness, I made my way upstairs.

I navigated my way through the kitchen, and pulled a glass out of the cupboard.

"Bella?" Carlisle asked.

I jumped and turned to look at him.

"Hey." I squeaked.

He chuckled. "Are you okay?"

I nodded. "Just thirsty."

I turned on the tap and tried to pour into my glass. I tried not to let my hand shake too much.

"Let me help you." he said quietly, taking the glass from me and letting the water pour into it.

"Thanks Carlisle." I said softly.

"Don't mention it." He said, getting a glass and pouring himself some water.

"So, what, you couldn't sleep?" I asked after taking a sip out of my glass.

He chuckled. "Yeah. Guess it's just one of those nights."

I nodded and gripped my glass. My heart was beating quickly just leaning against the counter across from him.

He put his glass on the counter beside him and came up to me. I bit my lip and looked up at him, unsure of what to say.

His hands came on either side of my face, and his lips claimed mine.

I gasped in surprise, and dropped my glass onto the floor where it shattered. At that moment, I didn't care; I was kissing the man of my dreams.

I closed my eyes and entwined my fingers in his hair.

I woke with a start, heart racing quickly through my chest.

Seriously? Had I really dreamt that?

I saw Rosalie and Alice stretching, and I pretending I was still half asleep as they were.


	2. Chapter 2: Distractions

Chapter 2: Distractions

That morning when Alice, Rosalie and I were sitting in the kitchen, eating our breakfast, Carlisle came downstairs. I couldn't meet his eyes. I felt so embarrassed, even though I knew he didn't know about the dream I had had, it was still embarrassing to be in the same room as him.

"Bella, how are your stitches treating you?" he asked.

"They're f-fine, th-thanks." I stammered.

"Let me know it they're bothering you." he said.

I nodded and looked back down at my cereal. I knew Alice and Rosalie were staring at me, but would wait until Carlisle left before asking me anything.

He said goodbye to us, and the kitchen was quiet for a full two minutes.

"What the fuck?" Alice asked.

I didn't say anything.

"Bella, what just happened there?" she demanded. "You could barely talk to my dad!"

I shrugged, not wanting to say anything; I was too embarrassed, even in front of my two best friends. What could I say? _Alice I like your dad_?

"Oh my god…" Rosalie whispered.

I looked up at her to see understanding clear her face.

Alice looked between her and I in confusion.

"Bella, did something…_happen_ between you and my dad?" Alice asked.

"No!" I said. "No, nothing happened."

"Then why…?" she trailed off, and I looked at her, biting my lip.

"It's kind of obvious…isn't it?" Rosalie asked.

"It's obvious?" I screeched.

"To us, yeah." Rosalie said.

Alice's jaw dropped when she realized what had happened.

"Oh my god, Bella!" Alice said. I couldn't tell if she was mad or not.

I looked down again, I didn't know what to do or say.

"Bella, I'm not mad." Alice said.

I looked up at her. "Really?"

She nodded. "I'm not mad at all. I mean I guess I'm confused, because you're with Edward, but…" she trailed off.

"Her dad is hot." Rosalie said. I sighed. It still felt weird, no matter what they said.

"You aren't happy with Edward anymore? Alice asked.

I nodded. "It's just…gotten boring."

Alice nodded. "I understand."

I smiled softly at her. I knew that she actually did understand and it made me feel better.

"Let's go shopping." Alice said with a grin.

"What?" I asked.

"Shopping." Alice said.

"Really?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow.

She nodded. "Let's go get ready."

I got ready to go shopping, and Alice drove to our favourite mall in Seattle. She and Rose pulled me into a lingerie store and threw the laciest, skimpiest things in the store at me. I held them up and stared at them.

"And what do you expect me to do with these?" I asked.

Alice and Rose rolled their eyes.

"Try them on." Alice said.

"No, Alice, have you seen these?" I asked in shock.

"Well how else do you expect to seduce my dad?" she asked.

I almost choked on my gum.

"What?" I asked.

"You heard me." Alice said, annoyed. "Go try them on!"

She shoved me into the fitting room, and I sighed. There was no way I could try these things on.

"Bella," she warned. "If you don't try them on, I will come in there and force you into them."

And I knew she was completely serious, so I pulled on the skimpy clothing. I sighed. "It fits."

"You're lucky I'm not making you show us." She said.

I tried on everything else, and it all fit, so I left the fitting room to see Alice waiting.

"Good." She said. "Now, let's go pay for it."

My eyes widened.

"Don't fight it, Bella." Rose said, taking the lingerie from me. "Just go out there and sit on a bench."

I had no choice but to go out of the store and sat on a bench with a sigh.

Moments later, Alice and Rosalie emerged with "my" purchases.

They were both grinning widely at me.

I rolled my eyes and walked away, knowing they'd follow to torment me more, but mostly I walked away to hide the fierce blush on my face.

We ate lunch and shopped more before going back to the Cullen house.

I loved summer. You didn't have to go to school and you could sleep in as late as you wanted.

It was a great feeling.

Back at the Cullen house, the guys still weren't home. They probably wouldn't be home for a while.

We were in Alice's room, listening to music.

"I should go." I said. "Charlie's going to be expecting me, and I need to cook his dinner."

"Okay." Alice said. "Don't forget your purchases!"

I rolled my eyes and slung my purchases over my shoulder before making my way out to the garage. And then, I remembered that Edward had given me a ride.

"Shit." I whispered.

Just as I was about to turn back to go into the house to ask Alice or Rose to give me a ride, the garage door opened, and Carlisle's shiny black Mercedes pulled into the garage.

He got out of his car and looked at me in surprise.

"What's wrong, Bella?" he asked.

"I was just heading home, but I don't have my truck." I explained. "I was just going to go back and see if Rose or Alice could give me a ride."

"I'll give you a ride." He said.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Of course, hop in." he said, getting back in his car.

I got into the passenger seat, and put my bags at my feet. My face heated when I realized he could probably see the contents of the bag with the lingerie.

I groaned silently. I really hoped he couldn't see them.

I struggled to get my seatbelt on, but failed, so Carlisle reached over and did it for me.

"Thanks." I said.

"No problem." He said.

As he pulled out of the driveway, I didn't know what to say.

"How was work?" I asked, finally breaking the silence.

"Pretty good." He said. "They let me off early because it was dead in there."

I nodded. "Well that's nice."

He chuckled. "Yeah, it is."

Again, we were quiet. He seemed to feel how awkward it was as much as I did.

"Have you spoken to the guys today?" Carlisle asked.

I shook my head. "They're probably still asleep."

"Probably." Carlisle murmured.

I didn't say anything, just looked down at my hands.

Good god, this car ride could not be any more awkward!

What could I say to him? How could I say _anything_ to the man I had fantasized about on numerous occasions?

"So…" I cleared my throat. "What's it like working in a hospital?" Ugh. I was so lame.

"Good. You get to help people." He said. "I love to help people."

I nodded.

"What are you thinking of being?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I'm not sure. I've been thinking of either going into nursing or writing."

"Those are pretty far from each other." He said.

"I know." I said with a sigh. "Maybe if I go into nursing I can work with you and Edward."

He chuckled. "Maybe. But Edward isn't sure if he wants to stay in Forks."

My eyebrows shot up. "What? He hasn't told me anything about that."

Carlisle shrugged. "He and I were talking and he said he wasn't sure if he wants to stay here after he graduates."

I bit my lip and looked out the window.

By this time we had pulled up to my house and I turned to Carlisle.

"Thank you for the ride." I said.

"It was my pleasure, really." He said.

I went to grab my bags, but unfortunately there were too many and the bag with my lingerie fell onto the passenger seat, all of the contents spilling out.

My eyes widened and my cheeks flushed. Carlisle didn't seem to now what to do either.

I put my other bags down on my driveway, and gathered the items that had fallen.

"Um…thanks again…Car-Carlisle." I stammered.

"Um…no problem." He said, seeming as flustered as I was.

I finished gathering the items, and shoved them in the bag, not looking back to make sure I had gotten everything. I closed the car door, and picked up my bags from the ground. Carlisle sped away from the house before I was even inside.

_Carlisle_

I sped away from Bella's house in a rush. I probably should've been a bit more mature about what had happened, but I had been so confused and hadn't wanted to embarrass her anymore than she already had been.

I glanced at the passenger seat and groaned. A lacy black bra was on the seat. I shoved the bra into the glove compartment quickly.

I put my head back against the headrest and pulled over. I closed my eyes and breathed.

I knew that Bella had "feelings" for me, and I couldn't help but be drawn to her. But it was wrong. She was dating my son, and she was seventeen. I felt like a dirty old man thinking of her, yet it still bothered me to know that she had purchased those items to wear for my son's pleasure.

I ground my teeth together and finished driving back to my house, gripping the steering wheel tightly. I hated to think of what Edward and Bella did in their spare time. It had pained me when he asked me to get her birth control pills. I could tell that their relationship was strained right now. I could see that Bella wasn't exactly happy with him.

But, what could I really do? I couldn't approach Bella…that would just…not be good.

I went into the house, and went straight up to my office. I tried to concentrate on the paperwork that I needed to get done, but I couldn't. Bella's face kept floating into my mind.

I leaned back in my chair, hands covering my face.

My phone rang, making me jump.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Dr. Cullen, Ms. Weber is having her baby. They're on their way to the hospital now. I think you should get over here." My secretary, Anne, said.

"I'll be right there." I said, and hung up.

I left the house, calling goodbye to Alice and Rosalie, and went to the hospital where I wouldn't be distracted by Bella.


	3. Chapter 3: Silence

Chapter 3: Silence

_Bella_

I was sitting on my bed, lost in thought. I hadn't unpacked any of my bags…hadn't even looked through them yet. I had just dropped them down on my floor, and climbed onto my bed. Charlie wasn't home yet, so I would think of what to make for dinner later.

I had been so embarrassed when I dropped my bag in Carlisle's car. He had seemed to be as unsure of the situation as I had been.

I sighed and leaned back in my bed.

It was quiet in my house, and I closed my eyes, enjoying the silence. I knew that sooner or later something would go off, whether it was a phone or Charlie's car pulling into the driveway, and disturb the blissful silence in the house.

Of course, my phone buzzed in my pocket, and I halfheartedly pulled it out.

It was a text from Edward. I sighed.

**Did you get home okay?**

**Yeah, your dad gave me a ride. I didn't have my truck.**

I hit the send button, and threw my phone onto my mattress where it landed with a light thud. I wasn't really in the mood to deal with Edward's over protectiveness. I mean, yes it was really sweet of him to be worried about me, but it was a little annoying sometimes.

I stared up at the ceiling, and felt the bed buzz. I ignored the text and just kept staring above me.

"Bells?" my dad called.

I blinked. Had I fallen asleep?

"Dad?" I called, his head poked into my room. "Sorry, I fell asleep. I'll come and start dinner."

"No don't worry about it." He said. "You're tired, go back to sleep. I'll order pizza or something."

"Okay." I said with a yawn. "I'll see you later."

"Night Bells." He said, and closed my door.

I grabbed my phone, and replied to Edward, telling him I was going to take a nap, and I turned off my phone before putting it on my nightstand and sliding under my blankets.

I fell asleep right away, and when I woke up I felt amazing.

I hopped out of bed, and knocked on the bathroom door, making sure Charlie wasn't in there. When he didn't answer, I went inside, locked the door behind me, and took a long shower.

I made the entire bathroom smell of strawberries and vanilla. I smiled and wrapped a towel around myself. I gathered my pajamas in my arms, and went back into my room. I knew Charlie would need the bathroom to get ready for work.

I had a large mirror and blow dryer in my room, so I would be fine for doing my hair.

I pulled on my pajamas-my boy shorts and tank top-and began to work on my hair. I sectioned it, putting the top layers up in a bun on my head, and spread my straightening gel through the bottom layer. I grabbed my round brush and blow dryer, and started to work.

Finally I got through all of my hair, and re-sectioned it and grabbed my flat iron. I waited for it to heat up, and then began to straighten my hair more thoroughly.

When I was pleased and my hair is nice and straight-and not poufy-I got dressed, and left the house. Charlie had already left for work.

I got in my truck and drove to the Cullen house. When I got there I was surprised to see that only Carlisle's black Mercedes was in the garage.

Where was everyone else? Or had Carlisle used someone else's car to go to work today?

I shrugged to myself and went into the house. Edward had given me a key to get in a while back.

"Hello?" I called, looking around.

I walked into the kitchen to see Carlisle standing there, drinking a glass of water.

"Bella?" he asked in surprise.

"Hey." I said. "Um…is Alice or Edward here?"

"No, they had to go run some errands." He said, taking a sip of his water.

I sighed. "Thanks anyway, Carlisle."

"If you want to stay here and wait for them, be my guest." He said. "I'll just be up in my office doing some paperwork."

"Really?" I asked. He nodded. "Okay, well…um…thanks. I'll be in Alice's room."

"Okay." He said.

I went up to Alice's room, and sat on her bed. Even with the door closed, I was all too aware of Carlisle in his office, which was just a few doors down from Alice's room.

It took all of my self control not to go into the next room and talk to him, it was killing me.

I got up off of Alice's bed, and went to her bedroom door. I stopped, and turned back around right away. What was I thinking? I sighed and fell onto Alice's bed. Really, what was I thinking? I let all the air out of my lungs, and stared up at Alice's ceiling.

Carlisle wasn't interested in me. I was being ridiculous just thinking that.

But…could he have feelings for me? Alice had told me that the lingerie had been to "seduce" him…why not try? The worst that could happen was that he'd shoot me down.

I went to Alice's door again, and paused, with my hand on the doorknob. Was I crazy? Was I completely insane?

I took a deep breath. _You can do this._

I opened her door, and went to his office. I knocked on the door.

No going back now.

"Come in." he said.

I opened his office door, and he looked up, seeming surprised to see me.

"Bella, what can I do for you?" he asked.

"I…um…" what could I say?

"What is it?" he asked softly.

"I…" I cleared my throat. "I…lately…I've been…um…having some…um…feelings for you."

I was staring at the floor, nibbling on my lip.

So, I didn't hear him get up and come over to me, until he tilted my chin up with his finger.

I wanted to look away from him, but I couldn't break eye contact with him.

"I know how you feel." He whispered. "But it would be wrong."

"Why?" I whispered. I realized that he did have feelings for me as well.

"You are with my son." He said. "And you are a minor."

I bit my lip, looking up at him shyly. He caressed my cheek, and I could see in his eyes that he was sorry.

And then, I did something I never thought I would do.

I kissed Carlisle Cullen, and he kissed me back as my world exploded with passion and love.


	4. Chapter 4: Okay

Chapter 4: Okay

I was lying in bed that night, looking up at the ceiling. I had kissed Carlisle Cullen. I smiled to myself. I was so happy that now I knew that he felt the same way towards me.

But, nothing could ever happen with him. I was with Edward, and I was too young. Well, of course I could change my relationship state with Edward…but did I really want that? Yes I had fantasized about Carlisle numerous times, but did we have any future together? Did Edward and I have any future together?

I sighed. I wasn't sure. I got up off my bed, and picked up my bags that I had been dreading unpacking. I dumped all of the contents out onto my bed, and matched everything together.

My throat tightened uneasily. There was a black, lacy bra missing. I double checked everything, and I couldn't find it.

I looked under my bed, thinking that maybe it had fallen.

Nope. Not there.

My stomach clenched as I realized what must have happened.

When my bag fell in Carlisle's car…it must have fell out…and I must have forgotten it.

Oh. My. God.

No. No way.

I fell onto my bed. That bra was in Carlisle's car somewhere.

I did the first thing that came to mind. I called Alice.

"Alice," I hissed into her voicemail. "I don't know why you aren't near your phone, but I need your help. Call me as soon as you get this message."

I paced my room, waiting for Alice to call back. I feared that I would have to go to the Cullen house by myself and try to sneak into Carlisle's car.

I sighed, and went downstairs quietly. Charlie was asleep.

I looked at my truck once I was outside. I wasn't sure how I'd be able to leave with it without Charlie hearing. In all reality, there was no way to get out of here without Charlie noticing.

I groaned and marched back upstairs.

Alice still hadn't called me back, and I sure as hell couldn't call Edward and ask him to search Carlisle's car for a bra. I flopped down on my bed, and groaned. I would have to wait until tomorrow.

Why hadn't Carlisle said anything to me earlier? Where was it? Had he not noticed it? Maybe it had fallen under the passenger seat in his car.

My phone rang, and I jumped to it. I fumbled with the buttons, in an effort to answer Alice's call.

"Jeez! Took you long enough." She huffed once I finally answered.

"You're one to talk!" I said.

"What's wrong?" she asked. "I'm with Jasper…"

"Aw hell, Alice!" I groaned. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"'Cause your message to me sounded urgent." She said. "Now, tell me."

"Ugh…" I said. "Okay…this is going to sound weird, but can I sleep over tomorrow night?"

"Of course. Bella you know our door is always open to you."

"Thanks." I said. "Now, go back to Jasper and have fun…or whatever."

The line went dead, and I couldn't help but laugh to myself. Oh Alice.

I packed my overnight bag, and slid into bed.

I slept the night away without dreaming of anything that I could remember.

When I woke up, I stretched, feeling a slight soreness in my shoulders. Maybe I had slept in a weird way.

"Charlie?" I called, getting out of bed.

"Yeah, Bells?" he asked.

"I'm sleeping at the Cullens place tonight, is that okay?"

"Well, I was hoping you could come down to La Push with me today." He said. "I was going to go see Billy, and I think Jacob's wanted to see you."

I sighed, but since Charlie had pretty much let me do whatever I wanted, I would do this for him. "Sure dad sounds great. Just as long as you drive me to the Cullens place after?"

"Of course." He said. "Twenty minutes?"

I nodded. "Sounds good. I'll meet you downstairs."

He left my room and I rolled out of bed.

I quickly got dressed and slung my bag over my shoulder.

Charlie was waiting for me by the front door, and I followed him outside.

I got in the passenger seat of his cruiser, and waited for him to start the car, but before he did, he turned to look at me.

"Bells, I know how much you like Edward, but please don't be rude to Jake today." He said.

I raised an eyebrow. "When have I been rude to Jake?"

Charlie shrugged. "I just know you didn't really want to come down with me today."

"Dad, I love Jake, he's like my best friend. You know that." I said. "Now, can we go?"

Charlie started the car and began to drive to La Push.

I leaned back in the seat and I was actually excited to go see Jake today. It had seemed like ages since I had seen him.

The little red house was all too familiar as we pulled into the driveway. Jake ran out of the front door and enveloped me in a hug that lifted me off the ground as I got out.

"Bells!" he yelled happily.

"Hey Jake." I grinned.

"Why haven't you visited?" he asked. "We've missed you."

I shrugged. "I guess I just haven't really had the time."

"Well, you know that you're always welcome here." He said.

"That means a lot, Jake." I said with a smile.

"Come in!" he said, leading me into his small house. Immediately I felt happy. Billy, Jake's dad, was sitting in the living room in his wheelchair.

"Hey there Bella." Billy said, smiling.

"Hey Billy." I grinned.

"Why haven't you visited?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I guess I've just been busy."

"Well don't be a stranger." He said with a smile.

"I won't." I said.

"Hey Billy, game's startin' soon." Charlie said, getting comfortable in a chair in the living room.

"Great." Billy said with a smile.

"Bella, you wanna go upstairs?" Jake asked.

"Sure." I said, and followed him up to his bedroom.

Once up there, I threw myself onto his bed that was up against a wall in his room, and looked up at his ceiling.

"Glad to see you made yourself comfortable." He laughed.

I laughed. "I've slept over at your house, Jake. Of course I'm going to make myself comfortable."

He sat on his bed, and leaned against the wall. I propped myself up on one elbow to look at him. He looked the same as ever. Russet coloured skin, dark brown eyes, long, black hair. Even though he was a year younger than me, he towered over me.

"So how have you been, Jake?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Pretty good."

We were quiet. When had it gotten so awkward between us? Yeah it had been a long time since I visited, but we were still friends.

Weren't we?

I guess I had been spending so much time with the Cullens that I kind of forgot about Jake.

"What do you want to do?" I asked, trying to lighten the awkwardness in here. "We could go out to the beach or something."

He shrugged. "Sure, I guess."

When I first got here he had seemed so happy…now he seemed so down.

"Jake, what's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing." He said.

"Jake, how stupid do you think I am?" I asked. "I know that something is wrong. You can't lie to me."

He shrugged. "It's fine, Bells. It's nothing, I promise."

I pursed my lips and looked at him. I knew something was wrong with him, even though he wouldn't admit it.

I sighed, and sat up. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked at him.

"Come on, let's go out somewhere. You wanna go to the beach?"

"Sure." I said. "If that's okay with you?"

He rolled his eyes. "Of course it is, Bells."

I smiled and we left the house, letting Charlie and Billy know where we'd be.

We walked to the beach, and I stuck my hands in my pockets. It was freezing!

My phone vibrated and I pulled it out. It was a text from Alice asking when I was getting there.

"Sorry Jake, let me just answer this." I glanced up at him to see him rolling his eyes. My brow furrowed and I quickly replied to Alice.

"Do you have something against the Cullens?" I asked softly.

"You're always with them." he said, annoyance tinting his tone. "Whenever your dad comes down here, without you-which has pretty much been every single time since winter-you're always with them! I'm not trying to sound like a jerk or anything, Bells, that's not it, but it's just…I never see you anymore. And it sucks."

I wrapped my arms around him. "Jake, I'm sorry."

I felt him shrug.

"No, really, I am. I know that it's been a while since I visited, and I'm sorry. I guess whenever they ask me to do something I don't realize that I haven't visited you in a while."

He hugged me back. "It's okay, as long as you promise to visit more."

I smiled up at him. "I promise."

After that, it was like a light turned on in him. There was nothing awkward between us after we had sorted everything out.

We were sitting in the sand and he was looking out at the water. I looked at him. Before the Cullens had come to town, Jake and I had dated. It wasn't weird for us to be friends after that; it was a mutual decision to end it. We were better as friends. But, I won't be the last to admit that I might still have feelings for him. How could you not? And I could tell that sometimes he had feelings for me, but we were definitely better as friends. Being in a relationship just didn't work for us.

He glanced at me, and I smiled at him. For the rest of the afternoon, we just sat and talked, and had fun. It was one of the best days I had had this summer, a close runner up to when Carlisle kissed me last night.

I got butterflies in my stomach thinking of Carlisle's lips on mine. I would hopefully be seeing him tonight…and maybe we could kiss again…or maybe even something more?

No, I knew he wouldn't ever go for it. I was too young, and with Edward.

That made me think, would Edward be there tonight? I wasn't too sure. I hadn't talked to him at all today. He was probably still asleep. I had texted him this morning, telling him that I was coming over today, but he hadn't replied.

On our walk back to Jake's house, he grasped my hand. He had done this a lot after we broke up, and it didn't bother me. Jake was like a brother to me now, we could be completely ourselves around each other and it wouldn't bother either of us.

"Today was a lot of fun, Bells." He said. "Don't be a stranger; you're always welcome to visit."

"Thanks Jake." I said with a grin. "I'll visit before the end of the week, okay?"

A grin lit his face. "That would be awesome. Just let me know when you're coming, okay?"

I nodded. "I will."

We went inside to see Charlie and Billy saying goodbye to each other.

Charlie was happy. His team had won the game. He was teasing Billy about it.

"Bye Billy." I said with a smile.

"See you later, Bells." He said.

"Bye Jake." Charlie said, clapping him on the back.

"Bye Charlie." Jake said.

"Bye Jake." I said, hugging him.

"Bye Bells." He said, hugging me back.

I smiled at him and Billy, before following Charlie outside.

"Did you have fun today?" Charlie asked, starting the cruiser and pulling out of the driveway.

I nodded. "It's been so long since I've seen Jake. It was a lot of fun."

"I still don't understand why you two broke up." He said. "I mean, you two are so good with each other, and you're still friends."

I shrugged. "It just didn't work out with us. We're better as friends."

Charlie glanced at me. "I know that you really like Edward, but are you sure he's right for you? Why not give Jake another chance?"

"Dad, we've been over this. Jake is like a brother to me. I'm completely happy with how I am with him." I said. "And I'm perfect happy with Edward as my boyfriend."

Okay, so I lied. No, I wasn't_ completely_ happy with Edward, but how could I tell Charlie about my fantasies about Carlisle? No, I didn't want to get back together with Jake. And no, my dad didn't need to know about Carlisle.

As Charlie pulled up to the Cullen house, I got out and said bye to him. Instead of going to the front door, I took a detour and went through the garage.

I breathed a sigh of relief. Edward's car wasn't here, but Carlisle's was. Edward was probably with Emmett and Jasper.

I walked over to Carlisle's car, and looked in the passenger seat. No bra. I looked in the back seat. No bra.

I groaned. Maybe it was in my room and I had just missed it when I looked?

The lights in the garage flicked on, and I froze.

"Bella?" I felt my face heat. It was Carlisle.

"Hey." I said quietly, turning around to face him.

"What are you doing in here?" he asked softly.

"I um…I think I left something in your car the other day." I said quietly.

He nodded, understanding clearing his face.

"Yeah…I saw." He said, unlocking his car doors. "I put it in my glove compartment."

"Thank you." I whispered.

I slid into his car, and pulled the bra out of his glove compartment. I stuffed it in my bag, and straightened to look at him.

"Last night…" I trailed off, unsure of what I wanted to say.

"Can't happen again." He said quickly.

I looked down, literally feeling my face fall.

"What if…" I trailed off, thinking about what to say. "What if no one finds out?"

"What?" he whispered.

"Carlisle, it's obvious that you have feelings for me." I said, looking up at him. He was looking at me wearily. "So what if no one has to find out about us?"

"It would still be wrong." He said.

"How would anyone know?" I asked. "It's not as if you are forcing me into anything…I'm completely willing. And besides, who would find out?" I could see it happening in my head. Carlisle and I would sneak off without anyone suspecting a thing. "It can just be a discreet thing."

He bit his lip, considering. "I don't know…"

"Give me one good reason why not." I said.

He chuckled. "There are many good reasons why not."

"But there are more good reasons to do it." I pointed out.

He sighed and looked down at me.

"I don't know, Bella." He said.

"Please, Carlisle?" I asked, looking up at him through my lashes.

He didn't say anything so I moved forward and pressed my lips against him. He moaned and I knew had succeeded. I broke away from him and smiled.

"We'll try it out…but if anyone finds out…"

"We'll stop." I finished his sentence.

He nodded. "Okay."

Had I heard him right? Had he really just said okay?

I grinned at him.

"I have to go to work." He said quietly.

"I'll see you later." I smiled.

"You're spending the night?" he asked, surprised. I nodded. "Well, see you tonight then."

"Bye Carlisle." I said.

"Bye Bella."

I moved away from him and walked into the house, smile lighting my face.


	5. Chapter 5: Amazing

**Warning: Lemons.**

Chapter 5: Amazing

I was in Alice's room, waiting for her to get out of the shower. I had to pretend that Carlisle and I hadn't talked at all, and that we hadn't kissed.

It was killing me.

I hated having to lie to her, but it was necessary.

There was a knock on her door.

"Come in." I said.

Edward emerged in her bedroom and smiled at me.

I went over to him and kissed his cheek.

"Hey." He smiled.

"Hey." I said.

He pulled me out of Alice's room and into his bedroom. He pulled me onto his bed, and lay with me wrapped in his arms.

"What's all this about?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I just feel like I haven't seen you in a while."

"You saw me three days ago." I pointed out.

"It's felt like longer." He said with another shrug.

He pressed his lips against mine, but I didn't deepen the kiss. I felt like if I kissed him back I would be lying to him.

He sensed something was wrong and broke away from me.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Nothing."

"So you're staying the night?" he asked, trying to lighten the mood.

I nodded. "Alice and I are having a girls night…Rose might come too. We'll probably just sleep in Ali's room or the basement."

"Or…you could spend the night in here." He said.

I bit my lip. "I don't know…"

"Why not?" he asked. "Do you like my sister better than me now?"

"No, it's not that, it's just…" _I was hoping to share a bed with your dad tonight._

"Just what?" he asked, anger tinting his tone.

"I just feel weird about it." I said. "I mean your dad's bedroom is _right there_…he can probably hear us when we're in here together…"

"He doesn't care." Edward said.

"I do!" I said. "It's just so…weird that he…_knows_."

"Bella, he'll probably be in his office until, like, three in the morning." Edward said.

I didn't say anything. I couldn't tell what I was really thinking to Edward. How could I?

"Why don't you spend the night at Jasper's?" I suggested lightly.

He was pissed, I could tell.

"Why don't you spend the night at your house?" he asked angrily. "You obviously don't want to spend it with me."

I glowered at him. "I didn't intend to spend it with you! I came to have a sleepover with Alice. But obviously I'm not wanted here."

I detached myself from him and got up off the bed.

"I'm going home." I said, annoyed. I left his room and went into Alice's room and picked my bag up off the floor. She emerged from her bathroom, hair soaking wet, tank top and flannel pants on.

"Where are you going?" she asked in surprise.

"Home." I said. "Your brother is an ass."

I went to leave her room, but she grasped my arm.

"What did he do?" she asked softly.

"Got mad when I told him I wasn't going to sleep with him tonight."

She rolled her eyes. "He's an idiot."

"I'll see you later." I said, leaving her room.

When I walked out to the garage, I groaned. Charlie had driven me here today.

I walked out of the garage, and started walking down the road towards my house. It wasn't too long a walk, but it was a drag to have to walk there.

An idea popped into my head, and I detoured to the hospital.

I walked inside and went to the front desk.

"Is Dr. Cullen with anybody right now?" I asked his secretary.

She shook her head. "He's in his office."

"Thank you." I said, and went to where I knew his office was. I knocked on his door and entered after he told me it was okay.

I closed the door behind me and locked it.

"Bella?" he asked in surprise, looking up from the paperwork he had been looking over.

"Hi Carlisle." I said, walking over to him.

"What can I do for you?" he asked.

I moved so I was in front of him, standing between him and his desk, and hopped up on top of it. His face cleared of all confusion. I grabbed his tie and pulled him forward.

"You don't have any appointments soon, do you?" I whispered in his ear.

He pulled me off the desk and onto his lap; my legs went on either side of his hips.

"Just one." He said. "But it will be quite pleasurable."

I ground myself against his growing hardness, and he moaned quietly.

I undid his tie, and threw it onto the floor before proceeding to undo the buttons on his shirt. I kissed his chest as I worked my way down. His hands gripped my hips, and after I undid the last button of his shirt I took it off of him and threw that to the ground beside his tie.

I ran my fingers along the defined muscles in his chest and stomach area.

"Are we moving too fast?" he asked softly.

I ground myself against him more. "I don't think so."

He pulled my shirt up off over my head, and unclasped my bra. He kneaded my breasts with his hands, making me moan and arch my back to him.

He took one of my breasts in his mouth and flicked his tongue over the hardened nipple. I could feel the heat and wetness pool in between my legs.

I leaned forward and kissed his neck.

"Carlisle…I need…" I panted.

I looked down, and started to undo his pants. I fumbled with his belt, but got through it and went on to get his pants away from his hips. His erection sprang out, and my eyes widened at the size of it.

He chuckled. "Surprised?"

I nodded and stroked it slowly. He undid my jeans, and shimmied them down my hips. His fingers hooked under my panties, and pulled them down along with my jeans. We shifted so that my back was against the top of his desk, and he effortlessly slid into me.

I threw my head back and moaned. He paused, allowing me to adjust to his size, before starting to quickly pump in and out of me. I sat up and wrapped my legs around his waist, and my nails dug into his back.

We moved at our own rhythm. I buried my head in his neck, muffling the moans escaping my lungs.

I felt myself clench tightly around him, and I felt my orgasm nearing.

"Oh god, Carlisle…I'm so close." I whimpered.

He pumped in and out of me quicker, and my orgasm sent my mind into a whole other dimension of bliss.

I felt him tense, and his warm sperm filled me.

I fell back against the desk, breathing heavily.

He pulled out of me, breathing heavily as well.

"Carlisle…that was…" I couldn't even think of a word to describe it.

He smiled. "I know."

He bent down and pilled his pants up off the floor.

I slid off the desk, but a knock at the door made me jump about three feet in the air. I stared at Carlisle, panic seeping into me.


	6. Chapter 6: Fine

Chapter 6: Fine

"Dr. Cullen?" called his secretary's voice. "There's an emergency. You need to treat someone; they've cut themselves open."

"Just a minute." He said.

He bent down again and picked up his shirt. He hastily buttoned it up, and tied his tie around his neck.

As he was doing that, I had gathered my clothes and quickly put them on.

"Thank you…" I said softly. "It was…"

He kissed my cheek. "I know it was."

"I'll see you later." I said with a smile. "I'm not spending the night at your place tonight…it's a long story."

He nodded. "Okay."

"Go save that person." I grinned.

He chuckled. "I'll see you later."

He left the office, and I waited about two minutes before grabbing my purse and exiting the office behind him.

I went out the front door of the hospital, feeling light and amazing.

As I was walking home, a sudden feel of guilt washed over me. I should have a scarlet letter _A _painted on my chest. I had cheated on my boyfriend with his father.

I felt so amazing, yet I also felt horrible.

I couldn't help but think to myself how much better Carlisle was than Edward.

I sighed. Right now I just wanted to go home and get a good sleep. Carlisle and my activities had worn me out.

As I walked home, I contemplated going down to La Push tomorrow. Maybe Jake and I could have a sleepover…just like old times.

I pulled my phone out of my purse to see numerous texts from Edward apologizing to me. I ignored them and called Jake.

"Bells!" he said happily into the phone.

"Hey Jake." I said, smile immediately spreading across my face. "I was wondering if maybe you wanted to hang out tomorrow? I could even spend the night if that's cool."

"Sounds great, Bells!" he said. "You know our door is always open."

"Good." I said. "I've missed hanging out with you."

"I know how you feel." He laughed. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay. Bye Jake." I said.

"Bye Bells." He said, and I ended the call.

That should've taken my mind off my drama with Edward, but as I walked home I couldn't help but think of our fight.

How could Edward have been so…so selfish?

And then, another wave of guilt washed over me.

He hadn't been the one who was acting strange. It had been _me_. _I _had been the one acting weird, not him.

I sighed, knowing I had messed up. I really wasn't good at this sneaking around thing. How could I ever be? How could I hide my affair with Carlisle from the world around me?

No…I wasn't regretting my actions with Carlisle…at least not too much. When I thought about Edward it made my heart squeeze a bit painfully…thinking about how hurt and disgusted he would be if he found out, but I couldn't bring myself to regret what I was doing.

I wasn't happy with Edward. He tried to control me, even though he was the sweetest boyfriend a girl could ask for. The spark between us was gone, and how could I not look for something more…_exciting_?

I walked into my house, and started on dinner. I made Charlie some pasta with meat balls, and made myself a sandwich. Tonight I wasn't in the mood for pasta.

Charlie clambered through the front door and hung his coat and belt up.

"I thought you were staying at the Cullen place tonight." He said, surprised.

"I was going to." I said. "But I decided to come home."

"Did something happen?" he asked, forking spaghetti into his mouth.

I shook my head. "I just didn't feel too good."

He nodded. "Okay…are you feeling better now?"

I shrugged. "A bit. By the way, tomorrow night I'm sleeping at Jake's…is that okay?"

A smile lit Charlie's face. "Of course, Bells! I hope you have fun."

I'm sure Charlie hoped that after tomorrow night, Jake and I would get back together and have the fairy tale ending Charlie wished for us. I knew how much Charlie wanted me with Jake. It was no secret that Charlie liked Jake better than Edward, but Jake and I worked better as friends. I loved Jacob. I always would, but we just didn't work as a couple. Yes, numerous people had said we looked amazing together, but he and I both knew that we weren't meant for each other.

"I'm going upstairs. 'Night Charlie." I said, walking up to my bedroom.

"'Night Bells." He called.

I went into my room and flopped down on the bed.

I smiled, remembering the feeling of Carlisle buried deep inside of me. Remembering the feeling made my spine tingle and butterflies flutter in my stomach.

I closed my eyes, and drifted off to an easy restful sleep.

When I woke up I showered and didn't bother doing anything to my hair. I just let it dry into its natural curly state.

I repacked my bag, making sure I had everything before sending a quick text to Jake and heading out of my house. Charlie had already left for work, and I saw no need to leave him a note since he knew where I'd be. He had seemed enthusiastic about me going to Jake's today anyway. I got in my truck and fired up the engine. I drove the short distance to Jake's house, and got out of my truck. I was greeted by Jake running out of his house and hugging me.

"We have the house to ourselves for the day." He said, leading me inside.

"Where's your dad?" I asked.

"Went fishing with Harry." Jake said.

I nodded as Jake and I went up to his room. I tossed my bag on the floor and sat on his bed. He sat beside me and covered my hands with his.

"Bells, I've…lately I've um…" he hesitated, clearing his throat.

I bit my lip. I knew what was coming…I didn't want to talk about this with him…not now.

"Jake." I whispered.

"Don't." he said quietly. "Let me finish."

I sighed, but didn't say anything.

"Bells, we were so good together." He said. I looked away; I couldn't bear to see the desperation in his eyes. "I've missed how we used to be when we dated."

I closed my eyes, feeling my heart fold upon itself. I really couldn't handle this right now. I could barely hold onto one boyfriend…how could I even attempt to juggle three men?

He turned my face back towards his.

"I know you're with Cullen…but can't we just try again? Bella, I've never stopped loving you. Even after we broke up I knew we'd ultimately end up together. I've missed you, Bells."

I looked deep into his eyes.

"Jake…I…I can't." I whispered. "My life is a little hectic right now…I can't…"

"I had expected this." He said softly. "Bells, I'll always be here for you. I promise."

I leaned against him, happy he wasn't mad at me or anything.

The rest of our day went on as if he hadn't said anything about our relationship.

That night, I was getting settled into Jake's bed. He rolled a sleeping bag out onto the floor.

"Jake you don't have to sleep on the floor." I said. "You can sleep in your own bed, I'll take the floor."

He rolled his eyes. "Bells, that's not gonna happen."

"Jake, it's not fair to you." I insisted. "Take the bed."

I got off his bed, and attempted to pull him onto it.

He didn't budge. I sighed in annoyance and glowered up at him.

"You won't win." He said with a grin.

"Then you're just going to sleep in the bed with me." I said, and then snapped my mouth shut. Had I really just said that?

He looked surprised at me. "What?"

"I…I…" I didn't know what to say. "We've slept in the same bed before."

He looked uneasy, hell I felt weird about even saying it.

"Are you sure?" he asked uneasily.

I nodded. "Jake, why wouldn't I be?"

I hopped into the bed, and he slowly slid in beside me. I got comfortable, facing away from him, and fell asleep right away.


	7. Chapter 7: Trip

Chapter 7: Trip

When I woke up, my head was on Jake's shoulder, and his arms were loosely wrapped around my waist.

I detached myself from him and stretched, rolling off the bed. His eyes flickered open and he yawned and stretched. He looked at me and smiled. I returned his small, and stretched again. My arms and back felt stiff.

"Did you sleep okay?" he asked. I nodded.

We were quiet as I sat on the chair by his desk and looked at him.

"Jake, about what you said yesterday…" I trailed off, unsure of what I wanted to say.

He held his hand up, silencing me. "Don't worry about it."

I looked down, unsure of what to do.

"I should probably get going…" I said quietly.

He nodded, and came up to me. I stood up and looked up into his eyes. He wrapped his arms around me before handing me my bag.

"See you later Bells." He said.

"Bye Jake." I said softly before leaving his house. I got into my car and decided to go to the Cullens' house to try and patch things up between Edward and me. I pulled into the garage, and walked inside the house. Edward's car was the only one in the garage, so I assumed he was home. I peeked into the living room to find it empty, so I went up to his bedroom.

The door was closed, so I knocked on it, waiting for him to open it.

"Come in." his voice was muffled through the door. I opened it, and poked my head inside.

"Oh…hey." He said.

"Can I come in? Or do you want me to leave?" I asked.

"No," he said, sitting up in his bed. "You can come in. Sit." He said, patting the space on his bed in front of him.

I walked into his room and sat on his bed.

"Edward, I'm sorry." I said softly. "But I think we need to talk."

He nodded; it seemed he had realized this was coming.

"Where do you see our relationship going?" I asked carefully.

"I was hoping for a future with you." he said. "You know; marriage, kids; the whole nine yards."

I bit my lip. "Do you see us together in the future?"

"Do you?" he countered.

"I want to." I said.

"But…?" he prompted.

"I don't know." I admitted. "It's just I feel like…I don't know."

He turned my face towards his and I looked into his forest green eyes.

"What's upsetting you?" he asked softly. "Did I do something wrong? Did something happen to you?"

"No nothing happened…you didn't do anything." I said quickly. "I don't even know what's upsetting me."

"Well, I don't think it's anything that we can't work through." He said softly.

"I think I need to go visit my mom for a bit." I said. "I miss her."

"Is that all that was bothering you, love?" he murmured.

I debated over whether or not to end it with him, but I decided against it. Maybe time away from him, and Forks, would be a good thing.

I kissed his cheek.

"Are we good now?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yeah, we're good."

He smiled and captured my lips with his, but I pulled away.

"I should go…I should call my mom and let her know I'm going to come for a visit."

He nodded. "Okay, I'll see you later."

"Bye Edward." I smiled, before exiting his room and his house. I didn't call my mom; I called Carlisle.

"Hello." He said into the phone.

"Hello Carlisle." I said; driving home, smile lighting my face.

"Bella, what can I do for you today?" I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Well…I've been thinking about getting out of town for a few days…and I was wondering if you had any…_conferences_ in Jacksonville that are coming up?"

He chuckled. "I don't think I have any, but that could of course be an excuse for me to go out of town."

I smiled. "How's this weekend?"

"Perfect." He said. "I'll get work off."

"Can't wait." I said, disconnecting the call. I pulled into my driveway and walked inside. I was surprised that Charlie was home, sitting on the couch watching TV.

"Dad?" I asked. "You didn't have to work today?"

He shook his head. "Got the day off."

"What do you want for dinner?"

"I won't be here." He said.

My eyebrows shot up. "What?"

"Billy invited me over to watch the game." He explained.

"Oh." I said. "So then I guess I'm on my own."

"Unless you want to come?" he said, turning to look at me.

"No, I was just there." I said. "I think I'm just going to go to bed. Oh, by the way, I think I'm going to go visit mom this weekend."

He nodded. "Okay, that sounds fine."

"Thanks Dad." I said.

"No problem Bells." He said, walking out the front door.

I trudged upstairs and collapsed onto my bed. I decided against calling my mom. This weekend I was hoping to stay in a hotel room with Carlisle. If I called my mom and told her I was coming, she'd insist that I stay with her.

Which, of course, I didn't want.

I began packing my bags and called the airline and hotel. I booked a flight and a hotel room for both Carlisle and me. After, I called him, telling him all the information, before I climbed into bed and falling asleep.

When I woke up I stretched my arms over my head, cringing slightly at the soreness in my arms.

It was Thursday and I was leaving, with Carlisle, tomorrow. I picked up my suitcase and threw my things into it, including the lingerie I had bought with Alice and Rosalie. Might as well put it to good use, am I right?

A smile crept to my face, imagining the weekend ahead of Carlisle and I.

There would be no fear of us getting caught. Maybe we could even go out somewhere together without the whole town watching us.

What was I thinking? It's not like Carlisle and I were a couple. Wasn't it supposed to just be meaningless sex between us?

Or, was it meant to be meaningless? Would we develop an actual relationship based on more than just sex?

I bit my lip, thinking about the future of Carlisle and me.


	8. Chapter 8: Plane Ride

Chapter 8: Plane ride

Sitting on the plane next to Carlisle sent my heart racing. I thought about the weekend ahead of us. My mom still didn't know I was coming. I would let her know when I got there. What she didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

I wanted to lean against Carlisle, but there was a high chance of people from Forks being on this plane. If anyone saw us like that, it would spread through town like wildfire. Nobody could know about us. If the town found out, what would they think?

I really didn't care what they would think of me. Hell, they could say whatever the fuck they wanted about me and it wouldn't matter. But, what mattered was Carlisle's reputation. If the town found out he was fucking a seventeen year old-a seventeen year old dating his son- his reputation would be ruined and he would probably lose his job. I glanced over at him to see him fully engrossed in the book he was reading. We were supposed to be pretending that he was just accompanying me for the plane ride, since it had been "such a coincidence we were going to Jacksonville at the same time".

I turned back to my book-Wuthering Heights- pretending to read the pages. I had read this book numerous times, and I really didn't need to pretend to read; I practically had it memorized.

"I know it's boring." Carlisle murmured, eyes never leaving the pages of his book. "But there's nothing we can…do. There are far too many people…"

"I know." I whispered. "But it's still boring."

He chuckled. "I know it is. I want nothing more than to take you right here, right now, but unfortunately we can't."

I looked back to my book, bored out of my mind. I understood what Carlisle was saying, but it didn't make it any better.

And then, he did something that shocked me. He asked the flight attendant for a blanket, and then he covered me with it.

I stared at him, wondering what the hell he was doing…until I felt his hand on my thigh.

My eyes widened as I saw the mischievous look pass through his eyes. He wasn't looking at me; he had his eyes on his book that was in his free hand, but I noticed the small smirk on his face.

His hand moved up my leg, and finally found the button of my jeans. He undid it, and slowly unzipped the zipper.

His hand snaked into my pants, and underneath my panties. His fingers slid up and down my already wet folds.

He chuckled quietly, eyes never leaving his book. I bit my lip, already wanting to cry out. How would I survive this?

Slowly, one of his fingers slid inside of me, and I almost cried out. His finger began pumping in and out of me, and hooking it just at the right spot. When I thought I couldn't handle anymore, he decided to add another finger. I pressed my head back against the seat, trembling at the force of the oncoming orgasm he was going to give me.

I felt myself tighten around his fingers, and bit down hard on my lip, almost breaking the skin. I gripped the armrests, and closed my eyes, feeling my orgasm roll through my entire being; body, mind, and soul.

As I came down from my orgasm, he pulled his hand away from me, and I did up my pants. He put his fingers to his mouth and licked away all of the moisture I had spilled onto him.

"Delicious." He murmured, so quietly that no one else would hear.

"Oh my god, Carlisle." I whispered. "That was…"

"Shhh…" he silenced me. "Not here."

I leaned back in the seat again, breathing heavily, still trying to catch my bearings after that mind shattering orgasm.

I heard him chuckle quietly.

I rolled my eyes and picked up Wuthering Heights again, waiting for the plane to land.

**AN: I'm sorry it's so short, but the next chapter will (hopefully) be up soon. Oh, and by the way, please check out another story I did called Lethal Weapons, it's a Bella and Jake one, and Bella's cheating on her husband, Edward (seems to be a recurring theme, huh?). Please, send it some love **


	9. Chapter 9: Jacksonville

Chapter 9: Jacksonville

Landing in Jacksonville I stared out the window. I loved coming to visit my mom, but I also loved spending time with Carlisle.

It was strange, the connection we shared. It was as if we were both lost souls who needed comfort, love, and passion.

We exited the plane, walking together, and went to the luggage carousel to get our bags.

We couldn't make any physical contact with each other, seeing as people from Forks could be here. I wanted nothing more than to jump his bones right here, but I had to contain myself. I was still wired from that little…treat he had given me on the plane. He stood beside me, tall, blonde, and glorious, and for the whole weekend, he was all mine.

My bag came around the carousel and he grabbed it and handed it to me.

"Thanks." I said.

"You're welcome." He said formally.

"I'll go hail a cab." I said. "We might as well take a cab together, our hotels are right beside each other." This was all for show. Obviously we were sharing a hotel room, but in case anyone from Forks was around, they couldn't see us leaving together in the same cab without knowing that we were sharing a room.

Yeah, I thought it was ridiculous. Personally, I didn't care what people thought of me, but I knew Carlisle could get fired for this.

I walked out of the airport and waited for a cab. Moments later, I felt Carlisle's presence behind me. I smiled in spite of myself, happy to be near him again.

"Any luck getting a cab?" he asked softly.

"Not yet." I said.

"Allow me." he murmured.

Literally, ten seconds later, a cab pulled up and we slid inside.

I rolled my eyes. "You're just lucky."

He chuckled, and put his arm around my shoulders. "Jealousy will get you no where."

I glowered at him, but pecked him on the lips. I looked away from him, but he pulled my face back to his and kissed me again, harder this time. Obviously he wasn't afraid of being seen.

I happily kissed him back, and ran my hand along the growing arousal in his pants. The cab stopped before we could do anything more, and Carlisle paid the driver before we went into the hotel to check in. It was hard for me to keep my hands off of Carlisle while he was talking to the receptionist…especially because of the way her eyes lingered on him as we walked away.

Why was I getting so possessive over him? It's not like we were in a relationship, but I couldn't help but get possessive over him when women gawked and fawned over him.

Yes, I knew that Carlisle was gorgeous, any woman would be crazy for not fawning over him, but I didn't like to see it right in front of my eyes. Yes, we weren't supposed to have a public relationship, and allow our relationship to come into light, but that didn't mean I couldn't get jealous, right? Someone like a receptionist for a hotel front desk should be a little more professional, right?

In the elevator, I didn't keep my hands off of him. I put my hands on either side of his face, and kissed him hard. I got so caught up and lost in the moment, that I didn't notice when the elevator doors opened.

"We're going up." Carlisle said to whoever had interrupted, after breaking away from me in time to close the doors again.

"We need to be more careful, Bella." He said softly.

I nodded, and leaned against the other side of the elevator.

"We can continue what we started in the car once we get to the room." He said with a wink.

I smiled at him and waited, impatiently, for the elevator to end its ascend.

Finally, the elevator doors opened and we exited, remaining apart from each other seeing as there were people getting onto the elevator as we got off.

We walked down the corridor together, keeping apart, before Carlisle opened the hotel room door. I looked around; making sure the coast was clear, before following him inside.

His lips were on mine in a second, and I was happy to kiss him back. We stumbled to the bed, and we fell onto it, lips never breaking apart.

I fumbled with his shirt, trying to pop open the buttons, but I failed miserably. He broke away from me to take it off, before kissing me again. He took my shirt off, and unhooked my bra before licking and nipping at my breasts.

I could feel his and my arousal, and I ground myself against him.

He undid my jeans, and slid them off right along with my panties. I was completely on display for him. I tore at his pants and threw them to the floor, and I stroked his already hard cock.

We shifted so that I was on top of him, and I wasted no time mounting him and sliding up and down him. Carlisle threw his head back against the bed, and we both moaned together. It was completely different, feeling him inside of me this way. He thrusted up into me, making me gasp in surprise at the feel and I held onto him, moaning, nails digging into his chest.

I rode Carlisle until it drove us both to our release. My body shook with the force of my orgasm, and the feeling of Carlisle releasing his seed into my body.

I slid off of him, and cuddled up next to him in the bed.

I smiled up at him, and he pressed his lips softly against mine, before we fell asleep together.


	10. Chapter 10: Jealousy

**An: Hey Everyone! So, I'm thinking of starting a Twitter account for all my FF buddies so I can be a bit more connected, I guys, with all you guys who read…what do you think? Would you follow? It would just be for my fan fictionness…the one I have now is private…but what do you think? Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter!**

Chapter 10: Jealousy

_Carlisle_

Bella and I were lying in the hotel room bed together, watching as the sun rose, illuminating the room through the crack in the curtains. This was the first time that she and I had ever actually spent the night together, and it was nice. It was nice to not have to worry about someone walking in on us.

We were behind a locked door, where no one would be able to get in. it was a peaceful moment between the two of us, and we both seemed content with it. In some weird way, it wasn't weird between us. Yes, we were breaking the law, and yes it was wrong, but we both seemed completely content with how things were going.

One thing that did feel weird though, was the fact that she was with my son. Although he wasn't my biological son, it was still weird. She had adamantly told me that they hadn't been…intimate with each other for months, but it didn't help the fact that she was with my son.

I had to stop thinking like this. She had told me that she was going to break up with him soon; she just didn't know how to do it yet.

Bella sighed quietly.

"What's wrong?" I asked softly.

"We have to get up soon." She said. "I should visit my mom today."

I pulled her closer to me. "Couldn't we just stay like this all weekend? It's nice."

She laughed, and rested her head on my shoulder. "I know it's nice, but if my mom finds out that I was here, which she somehow will, she'll have my head on a platter. I don't want that."

I chuckled. "Neither do I. Would you like some breakfast before you go?"

She nodded. "Sure. Let's go."

We got out of bed and got dressed before going down to the lobby to get our breakfast.

As we waited in the elevator, a guy around Bella's age was looking at her.

I didn't like that.

She wasn't paying any attention to him, but he was paying far too much attention to her for my liking.

Bella was on the phone with her mom as we descended down to the lobby, and whoever this guy was was staring at her, as if he was a puppy hanging on every one of her words.

She got off the phone.

"Well, my mom knows I'm coming now." She said to me. "She's annoyed that I didn't tell her any sooner."

I chuckled. "Yes, I can imagine."

She smiled up at me before the elevator doors opened and we got off. I immediately led her away from where the guy was heading.

She giggled. "Were you jealous back there?"

"He was staring at you without shame." I growled. "Does he not realize…"

"That we're together?" she asked cocking an eyebrow. "Which would be impossible, since we can't be public with our relationship."

I paused, knowing that she was right.

"I know how you feel." She said quietly. "Yesterday…the woman at the front desk was ogling you…and I got jealous and completely possessive over you."

I can't lie and say that this didn't relieve me. I was so completely and utterly relieved at her words that I wanted to grab her and kiss her. But, of course, and unfortunately, I couldn't.

"I can't imagine how you feel when I'm around Edward." She said, and then her face turned beet red before slapping her hand over her mouth. "Oh my god, I cannot believe I just said that."

"It's okay." I said, as we ate. "Yes, it is hard for me to see you with him, but it's nothing that is too hard to handle."

She nodded, seeming to take in what I said.

"I understand that it's hard, and I'm sorry if I put you through anything." She bit her lip and didn't look at me.

"Bella, it's fine, I assure you, it isn't torture to see you with him." I said. "And besides, I know how you really feel."

She laughed, and I could tell my words had put her at ease. But, I was lying to her. I hated seeing her with Edward; it drove me insane with jealousy. I didn't want to tell her that because I knew that it would upset her.

As we finished eating, she left the hotel, and I went back up to our room.


	11. Chapter 11: Over

**Twitter: xJessx291**

Chapter 11: Over

_Bella_

I was walking back into the hotel, humming happily.

The visit with my mom was good, but short. She had wanted me to spend the night there, but I made up an excuse as to why I couldn't. I loved spending time with my mom, and I know it may sound selfish, but I wanted to spend as much time as I could with Carlisle before we had to go back to Forks. She had looked upset when I left, but it wasn't anything that I couldn't handle.

Suddenly, as I rode the elevator up to our room, a wave of guilt washed over me.

Here I was, in the same city as my mom, who I barely ever got to see, and I was spending majority of my time with Carlisle. I felt slightly nauseated by the time I got to the hotel room. Tomorrow was my last day here, and I promised myself that I would go back to visit my mom before I left.

Maybe I'd have dinner with her or something.

I opened the hotel room door, and saw Carlisle snoozing on the bed. I smiled, and crawled into bed beside him.

I wasn't really tired; I just wanted to enjoy the closeness with him. He shifted slightly, and I moved closer to him, I was happy.

The vibrating of my phone in my pocket made me jump, resulting in Carlisle waking up.

I didn't know who the text was from, it was from an unknown number, and it wasn't signed, but the content of the message scared me.

**I know what you're doing with him.**

How could just seven little words, literally rock my world.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Carlisle asked, shaking my shoulder lightly.

I handed him my phone, showing him the text.

His face immediately changed from concern to anger.

"Did anybody see you coming here?" he asked.

I shook my head. "No, the hallway was deserted."

"I knew something like this would happen." He said. "Bella, I don't think we can do this anymore. It's too risky."

"Carlisle, I think, before we do anything big, we should find out who this person is. I mean it could just be something completely different that has absolutely nothing to do with this." I said, trying to convince myself of what I was saying. "I mean it could honestly be anything."

"Bella, what else could it be?" he asked softly. I hesitated, and he took that as an opportunity to continue talking. "It was good while it lasted, but I'm afraid we _need_ to stop. I know that you don't care what people think, and I wish that I could say the same, but I can't allow this to get out in the open. I could get fired because of it."

"I know." I whispered sadly.

He caressed my face. "I truly am sorry, Bella."

I took a deep breath. I knew why this had to happen, but it didn't make it any easier. I wanted to try and work this out, and figure out who this was, but Carlisle couldn't risk it, and I completely understood that.

"I should probably go back to Forks." He said quietly. "You should enjoy the rest of your visit with your mom."

I wanted to say more, but all I could do was sit on the bed and watch as he gathered all of his things.

He looked at me, and I could see the sadness in his eyes.

"I'm sorry Bella." He said softly. "I really am."

I nodded. "I know you are."

And with that, he left.


	12. Chapter 12: Drama

Chapter 12: Drama

I lay in the bed, attempting to convince myself that Carlisle would walk back into the hotel room as if nothing happened. As if everything was perfectly fine, and that we could still do this thing together.

He didn't.

I stared at my phone, rereading the test over and over again, trying to figure out who had found out about us. The hallway outside our room had been completely deserted. Nobody could have seen me come into the room.

In all honesty, I wanted to yell and scream and get angry with what had happened, but I didn't. What good would that really do? I wanted to call up Carlisle and yell at him for up and leaving me like that, but I couldn't bring myself to pick up my phone and dial. Every time I thought of my phone, my mind went straight to the weird text.

I sighed and rolled onto my side, hoping to fall asleep.

When I finally did catch sleep, I dreamed of Carlisle getting arrested for being with me.

It was absolutely horrible.

My hands were shaking when I woke up, and I knew that I had to get to the bottom of this text message. I picked up my phone and replied to the text, asking who it was, hoping I would get a response, but chances were that I wouldn't.

I paced the hotel room, waiting.

No answer came.

After a while, I realized that it was a lost cause. Whoever had texted me didn't want to reply.

It had been a lost cause when I had replied to the text, in all honestly. I had had a feeling that the person wouldn't have replied. I lay back down in the bed, and thought about what had happened.

I would have to talk to Carlisle sooner or later, I just didn't want to yet. I knew that it would be super awkward now, whenever I was at the Cullen house or whenever I went to the hospital.

I sighed. I didn't know what I was going to do when I went back to Washington. I wanted to break up with Edward, but now that Carlisle and I weren't together, should I end it with Edward?

I closed my eyes, thinking about what I was going to do when I got back to Forks.

And then, there was always the issue of Jake floating through my head.

He had told me that he loved me, and I couldn't help but love him too. I rolled onto my side, and fell back to sleep, not wanting to think of anything else for the day.

The next day, my last day in Jacksonville, I went out for breakfast with my mom. All of my bags were packed, and my mom didn't want me to leave. She kept trying to convince me to stay longer.

In all honesty, I wanted to stay longer.

And I'm pretty sure my mom could tell that I was reluctant to go.

"Please Bella, stay for a little while longer." She begged as I scooped some egg into my mouth. "I know that you aren't in school now, and I can tell that you want to stay."

"I wish I could, mom." I said, trying to think up an excuse as to why I couldn't stay. "Dad can't cook to save his life; it wouldn't be fair to him to leave him for longer than I promised."

"Bella, he'll survive. He survived for fifteen years without you there to cook for him." She said.

"I don't have enough clothes." I said. "I only brought enough to last me three days."

"So we can wash yours and buy you some more." She offered.

"Mom, it's fine. I promise that I'll visit again before the end of the summer…longer next time." I said.

She sighed. I could tell that she wanted me to stay, and she wasn't happy with my promise, but she didn't press the subject any more.

We finished our breakfast, and she drove me to the airport, where I left sunny Florida and had to go back to Forks where drama awaited me.


	13. Chapter 13: Eighteen

Chapter 13: Eighteen

**September 13****th**

Happy birthday to me.

These were the words that I kept repeating over and over in my head.

Charlie had wished me a happy birthday on my way out the door to school, but I hadn't really paid much attention to him.

For the rest of the summer, I had thought of Carlisle.

He hadn't talked to me at all since Jacksonville. I had been at the Cullen house almost everyday, and every time I was there he would stay up in his office, and only come out to get something to eat or drink. He wouldn't talk to me, and he'd barely even look at me.

I was sure Alice and Rosalie knew that something had happened, but they never asked a question, which was surprising, especially on Alice's part. Alice was always one to pry and dig for information, so it surprised me that she hadn't said anything about it.

I'm sure they both guessed that we were involved with one another…but they had never asked me.

Also, since Jacksonville, I hadn't received another text from that mystery person…which made me think that it had just been a joke or a wrong number text.

I hoped it was, at least. I hadn't talked to Carlisle about it either.

Edward knew something was wrong with me, too. He must have guessed that something had happened, but was too dense to really try and figure out what was happening.

As I drove to school, I pondered how if Carlisle and I had done things differently, maybe things would have gone better.

Maybe if we had waited until I turned eighteen none of this would have happened.

Of course, nothing can really guarantee that. Who knows, maybe if we had waited, the same thing could have happened.

Well, it was a good couple of times while it lasted.

I pulled into the school parking lot with a sigh. I couldn't wait to be out of here.

I pulled into a spot, and looked around. Immediately I saw Edward's silver Volvo and Alice and Edward leaning against it.

I slid out of my truck, and walked over to them.

"Happy birthday Bella!" Alice yelled.

"Shhh!" I hissed. "I don't want anyone to hear you!"

She rolled her eyes. "So tonight, you're coming to our house for your birthday party."

"My birthday party?" I repeated. "I thought we agreed on no parties?"

"No, we never _agreed_." She said. "_You_ told me not to throw a party, and I decided not to listen."

"I won't come." I said. "You can't make me come."

"Yes, but that would just be a huge waste of food and money." She said with a smug grin, and I knew at that point that she had won. She was guilt tripping me into going to the party.

I sighed. "If Charlie wants to do something tonight, then I won't come."

"You're full of shit and you know it." She said. "You and Charlie celebrated last night. Don't think I don't know that."

I sighed. "Jake said he wanted to see me today…"

I felt Edward stiffen beside me, and I fought against the urge to roll my eyes. Edward was insanely jealous that Jake and I were still friends after we dated.

"You'll be there tonight." Alice said. "You will be at our house tonight.

I bit my lip and looked away.

She smiled smugly at me again; she knew I'd be there because I'd feel bad if I didn't go after they spent money on me.

The day passed slowly. And I really didn't want to go to the Cullen place tonight. I'm not sure I could take any more of Carlisle completely ignoring me.

Maybe I could talk to him tonight. Maybe I could separate myself from everyone else to steal a few moments alone to talk things over with him.

As much as I wanted to get back with him, I knew it probably wouldn't happen; I just wanted to talk to him and make it so that things were no longer awkward between us.

Like, in all honesty, I just didn't want him to completely ignore me anymore. I had had enough of that.

At the end of the day, I slowly walked out to my truck, and slid inside. Jake had texted me a couple times asking me if I was going to stop by, and I hadn't replied. I was unsure as to whether or not I would stop by.

I knew Edward had a problem with Jake and me hanging out, but I honestly didn't care. He could say whatever he wanted about mine and Jake's relationship, and it wouldn't change a thing. I honestly didn't care that Edward had a problem with us hanging out.

I pulled out of the parking lot, and made my decision. I turned down the road leading to La Push.

I wanted to see Jake.


	14. Chapter 14: Presents!

Chapter 14: Presents!

"Happy birthday Bella!" Jake yelled at me before I was even out of the car. As I got out, he scooped me into a hug that lifted me right up off the ground.

"Thanks Jake." I said, immediately happy. Jake was like my own personal sun. Always. Whenever I was upset I knew that I could rely on Jake to make me feel better.

"Come in!" he said, leading me into his house.

"Is your dad home?" I asked.

"No he's out fishing…I think he's with your dad."

I laughed. "Yeah he probably is."

"So how has your birthday been so far?" he asked once we were up in his room.

I shrugged. "Uneventful."

"Oh come on, something interesting had to have happened." He said.

I shrugged again. "Nothing's happened."

He turned my face towards his. "Are you okay?"

I nodded. "I'm fine."

In reality, I wasn't. I couldn't help but think about Carlisle. I knew I would have to see him tonight, and I really wanted to talk to him. I had to clear everything up with him.

I also had to break up with Edward.

I sighed quietly and looked down at my hands. I shouldn't have come here today to see Jake. I should've just gone home, and then to the Cullens' house for the party.

"Hey, Bells, what's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing." I said. "I should probably get going."

"You just got here!" he said. "Come on, stay for a while. Do _they _want you or something?"

"They're having a party for me tonight." I said. "I don't really want to go."

"So don't go." He said.

Oh, how easy it was for Jake to say that. How easy for him to just tell me not to go to my boyfriend's house for my birthday.

"I can't not go, Jake." I said. "They spent money on me, I'd feel too bad."

He sighed. "Come here."

"What?"

"Come here. I want to give you your birthday present." He said.

I went over to where he was sitting, and he enveloped me in his arms, forcing me to sit in his lap. I was facing him, and our faces were close. _Very_ close.

"Jake…" I said.

He didn't say anything; he just leaned in close to me. By this time, our faces were mere inches apart.

"Let me do this." He whispered.

I didn't say anything, so he continued.

His lips connected with mine, and his hands rested lightly on my hips. His warm tongue traced my bottom lip, silently begging for access. Slowly, I opened my mouth against his, and our tongues battled for dominance. He, of course won, and slowly began to massage my tongue with his.

Kissing Jake was different than kissing Edward. With Edward I was felt bored, but with Jake there was a new intensity there that I hadn't realized before. It was like kissing Carlisle, it was intense, and heated, and filled with need and passion.

I moaned quietly into his mouth, and he continued kissing me. From where I was sitting, I could feel his arousal, and I can't lie and say that I wasn't aroused as well.

But it was wrong. And suddenly, that guilt washed over me again.

I broke away from him.

"Jake, I…I really have to go."

His hands tightened their grip on my hips.

"You kissed me back." He growled. "You felt something. You feel something for me."

I forced his hands off my hips and stood up.

"That was wrong." I said. "I'm with Edward."

He stood up, and looked down at me. "Don't hide your feelings, Bella. I know that you want to end it with him. I know that you still have feelings for me. And, you and I both know that we're amazing together. Don't give me that bullshit about how we're better off as friends. We are supposed to be together. We would work! Tell me honestly, Bells, can you really see yourself with _him_ in the future?"

I hesitated before answering him. In all honesty, I couldn't see myself with Edward in the future. When I pictured myself walking down the aisle at my own wedding, it was never Edward waiting at the altar for me.

I wasn't one hundred percent sure _who _was waiting for me at the end of the altar…I had always had two people in my mind when I pictured it.

One was Carlisle, but I knew _that_ would never happen.

And the other…the other was Jake.

"See?" he asked softly as if he could read my mind. "I can picture a future with you, Bells. I can't see my future with anyone else."

"I have to go." I whispered once more, before leaving Jake's house.

I got in my truck and started it, before driving back to Forks and out of La Push.

Jake was right. I could easily picture my future with him, and I could never picture my future with Edward.

Well, I could picture a future with Edward, but whenever I pictured it, I knew I would be bored in it.

I sighed quietly. I needed to break up with Edward, and ASAP. I wasn't happy with Edward. I wanted to be happy.

Quickly, well as quickly as my truck would go, I went to my house and got changed before going to the Cullen house.

Once I got there, it was worse than I had anticipated.

The whole house was decorated with electric blue streamers, flowers, and various decorations. It was obvious Edward had had a key role in colour choices as electric blue was his favourite colour on me.

I rolled my eyes. I couldn't wait for tonight to be over.

I went inside the house and was pulled into hugs from Alice, Rose, Emmett and Jasper. I went over to Edward who kissed me deeply.

"Happy birthday Bella!" they all yelled.

I smiled. "Thanks guys."

Not long after that we were pigging out on Chinese food and junk food, and we were all curled together watching a movie. I got up and went up to the bathroom. When I was walking out of the bathroom, arms came around my waist and pulled me into a room. I was confused, until I felt warm lips on my neck.

Immediately, I knew it was Carlisle. And I realized that we were in his office.

I rubbed my ass up against his obvious arousal, and he moaned quietly.

"Happy birthday, Bella." He whispered into my ear.

He turned me around and stared at me deep in the eyes.

"I've missed you." he said, before crashing his lips against mine.

I kissed him back hard, and he pressed me against the wall of his office. Our hands were tangled in each other's hair, and all you could hear in the room was our soft moans and light pants.

I tore at his shirt, needing the layers of clothing between us to disappear.

He slid my tank top off and unbuttoned my jeans before pulling them away from my body. I succeeded at getting his shirt off, and fumbled with his belt before taking off his pants.

My hands were shaking and my mind was going at a mile a minute. _Carlisle_ was actually here, kissing me, and taking my clothes off of me.

Soon, we were completely exposed to one another, and Carlisle wasted no time sliding into me. I gripped his shoulders, nails digging into his flesh as he pounded into me. We were both moaning loudly, and I loved every second of it. He wasn't too rough on me, but he wasn't too soft on me. He was absolutely perfect.

I cried out as my orgasm came. I had to grip onto his shoulders even tighter to keep from falling over.

He detached himself from me after he orgasmed, and slowly lifted my clothing off the floor and handed it to me. I got dressed while he did, and when we were finished we looked at each other.

"Carlisle…that was the best birthday present ever." I whispered before leaving his office.


	15. Chapter 15: Break Up

Chapter 15: Break Up

Walking back downstairs to the rest of the group was hard, especially since I was so weak in the knees. I sat down beside Edward, suddenly fully aware that he could probably smell the sex on my skin.

In all honesty, I didn't care. If Edward wanted to ask me about it, he could. Obviously I wouldn't tell him the truth, but that was for me to know and for him not to know.

Nobody said a word about how long I had taken in the bathroom. Nobody had really seemed to notice. They were all very engrossed into the movie. Edward slipped his arm around my shoulders, and pulled me close to him. I leaned against him, trying to act as though I was comfortable.

The blood was coursing through my veins, and my heart was still hammering quickly against my ribs. I couldn't believe that Carlisle and I had done that. Later on that night, after we had opened presents and eaten cake, Edward led me up to his room.

"Now I have your real present." He whispered in my ear, and tugged on my shirt.

I pushed him away. "Not tonight."

"Why not?" he demanded. "What the fuck is up with you lately? All you've been doing is pushing me away! We're _supposed _to be a couple! You barely even want to kiss me anymore! Is this because of Jessica?"

"Jessica?" I asked, cocking a brow. "What about Jessica?"

"Did she tell you anything?" he asked. "It was a one time thing, Bella, I promise."

"I'm sorry, _what _was a one time thing?" I demanded. "Have you…have you been cheating on me? With _Jessica_?"

His eyes widened. "She didn't tell you anything?"

"No, she did not." I growled. "Good going. You just fucked up your whole little "affair". How long as this been going on? How long have you been _lying_ to me?"

"Oh as if you're innocent in this relationship!" he snapped. "I know you've been fucking Black every chance you could get!"

"Why would you think that?" I demanded. "Because I used to date him? Because he and I are still friends even after we broke up? Is that why you think he's bending me over his bed every chance he gets? I'm not like that slut Jessica!"

Edward glared at me. "So what, what are you saying?"

"What are _you _saying?" I demanded.

"Why are you pushing me away?" he asked. "What did I do?"

"Nothing…I just…Edward, I think it's time for us to end our relationship." I said.

"Why?" he demanded.

"I don't think we're right for each other." I said. "And you just admitted that you were cheating on me! How can we be in a relationship that works if you've been lying to me? I'm sorry, Edward, but I don't think this will work anymore."

"Fine then." He said angrily. "Get out."

Quickly, I left his room, and went out to my truck. I didn't feel bad or anything. I felt relieved. I had gotten breaking up with Edward off my shoulders. Now I didn't have to lie to him anymore.

Yes, it was hypocritical of me to call him out for lying to me, but it was what had to be done. It would've been much harder to break up with him had he not slipped out that thing about Jessica.

Who, by the way, was a slut.

But, as much as the mere mentioning of her name made my blood boil, I was somewhat thankful to her. She had provided me with a reason to break up with Edward without even knowing it.

I smiled to my self as I drove home. I was finally free from Edward. It was like a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.

In all honesty, I can't say that I'm angry with Jessica or Edward. It would be severely hypocritical of me to be angry with either of them, as I had been doing the exact same thing to Edward.

Now I was free to do whatever I wanted with Carlisle without worrying about Edward finding out.

Yes, I still had to be careful, but I didn't have to be careful about Edward in particular finding out.

I smiled to myself. I was elated. I was so happy to have finally broken up with Edward, it was unreal.

Yes, he had been a great boyfriend, until I had found out about the cheating, but I hadn't wanted to continue with a relationship that I was bored in. I needed to be in a relationship that was always exciting…not one that I would find myself looking for other options.

I pulled into my driveway, and tiptoed into my house. I knew Charlie would be sleeping by now, so I did my best to be quiet as I walked up to my room. I shut my door behind me, and flicked on my bedroom light.

I flopped onto my bed, and stared up at the ceiling, exhaustion washing over me. Suddenly, I was very tired, and just wanted to sleep, but no matter how hard I tried, sleep wouldn't come. Maybe it was just the mere fact that I was remembering the feel of Carlisle's body pressing up against me, pushing me against the wall…remembering the feel of him buried deep inside of me, and pounding in and out of my body almost feverishly.

I smiled at the thought. I couldn't help it. Just the thought of Carlisle was driving me insane with need.

When I did finally fall asleep, dreams of Carlisle assaulted my brain. No matter what; whether I was conscious or otherwise, I couldn't get him out of my mind.

When I woke up, I got ready for school, and suddenly a wave of nervousness washed over me. What would happen today when I saw Edward? What would happen when he saw me? Would he glare and get mad? Or would he just completely ignore me?

I sighed quietly as I straightened my hair. All I knew was that today would be awkward…especially if Alice and I were hanging out and Edward popped up out of no where.

I left my bedroom and went down to my truck. The engine roared to life and I pulled out of the driveway. I pulled into a parking spot in the school parking lot and I got out of my truck, and walked right into Edward.

My head hit his chin, and I rubbed at it, trying to soothe the slight tingling pain.

"Ow." I said.

"Sorry." He muttered, moving away from me.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I wasn't watching where I was walking."

"Just like always." He said arrogantly and walked away.

I rolled my eyes. Well that had just been great. I hoped that it wouldn't be awkward between Alice and I. she was a great friend, and I wouldn't want to lose her over a guy. Especially not a guy like Edward.

I guess I would be able to see why Alice wouldn't want to be my friend anymore after this. I mean, Edward was her brother, and I knew that he would probably try and guilt her into not hanging out with me anymore.

I sighed and walked to my first class. As I sat down, I felt Alice barrel into me.

"Bella! You finally broke up with him!" she squealed.

My eyes widened. "You're happy about this?"

She nodded. "Now you can get it on with my dad!" she winked.

"Alice, just because _you're_ saying that, makes it sound gross as hell. He's your dad for god sake's!" I said, hoping that I wasn't blushing uncontrollably.

She giggled. "I see that blush. You still have feelings for him!"

"Alice, shut up!" I hissed, feeling my face heat even more. "Someone might hear you!"

She giggled some more. "Come on, Bella, live a little! I mean, you know that I wouldn't care! You know you have my full support."

"Alice, at lunch I need to talk to you." I said. "I have to tell you something."

She whipped her head around and stared at me. "Juicy gossip?"

"Yes." I said, biting my lip. "Yeah, very juicy gossip."

The bell rang, signaling the beginning of class. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a paper slide onto my desk. I looked down to see a note from Alice.

_Wanna skip next period?_

I smirked and rolled my eyes.

_You're that excited about the gossip?_

_**YES!**_

I giggled, and covered my mouth, playing it off as a cough so my teacher wouldn't get mad at me.

_Okay, we'll go out to the parking lot after this class._

_Awesome :) love you Bella._

I laughed again.

_Love you too ;) _

Sitting through the rest of this class was horrible. It was taking an eternity to end, and it was just annoying as hell.

I knew exactly what I was going to tell Alice…I just didn't know how to word it to her.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. My eyes widened and my stomach lurched.

I took a deep breath. It could be anybody.

Oh god, I hoped it was anybody other than who I thought it was.


	16. Chapter 16: Accident

Chapter 16: Accident

When the bell rang, signaling that we could leave, I shot out of my seat and ran to the door. The teacher for this class was a real bitch when it came to using your phones in class; she would either take the phone away or read the text out to the class, or even answer a call if you were getting one.

"Bella!" Alice called.

"Meet me at my truck!" I yelled. "I have to go to the bathroom!"

I sped to the bathroom, and locked myself in stall. I took a deep breath before pulling my phone out of my pocket. I closed my eyes, not wanting to open the text.

I could, of course, just delete the text without even reading it.

No, I had to read it. It could be anything. It could be anyone.

I opened my eyes, and opened the text.

**You'll just jump at the chance to fuck him, won't you?**

Again, the text was from a blocked number.

I put my head against the wall of the stall and closed my eyes, trying to control my breathing. Who the fuck knew about Carlisle and me? How could anyone have found out about us?

Quickly, I deleted the text. I wouldn't tell Carlisle about this. It would just result in him ignoring me completely again. And, of course, I didn't want that.

I walked out of the bathroom, and made my way out to the parking lot where Alice was waiting.

"Spill the beans!" she commanded before I was even close to her.

"Can we go somewhere? I don't want to be heard." I said. She nodded and we hopped into my truck and I began driving. I wasn't sure where we were going to go, but I just knew we had to get away from the school.

"Okay, Ali, when I tell you this you _have_ to promise me that you won't tell _anybody_. Not even Rose." I said.

"Why can't Rose know?" she asked.

"Because, if this gets out, like, I know that Rose wouldn't say anything on purpose, but something may slip out when she's talking to Emmett or something, ya know? I don't want that to happen. You can't tell Jasper either." I explained.

She nodded. "Why are you telling me then? If you don't mind me asking."

"I don't mind, I just…I had to tell someone."

"Okay." She said with a smile. "Spill."

"It's a long story." I warned.

"We've got time." She said.

"Well, let's start at the beginning, I guess?" I bit my lip before continuing. "Well, a couple of times you dad and I have…hooked up." She gasped in shock. "And remember when I went to visit my mom in Jacksonville?" I glanced at her and she nodded. "Well…that was more of a weekend for your dad and me to…spend time together. But then I got this text and it was from a blocked number, and whoever it was told me that they knew about us, so your dad left and he started ignoring me. Then last night at the party we hooked up again…and then Edward wanted to, too, but I told him no, and he let it slip that he had been fucking Jessica behind my back, so I broke up with him…but today in math with you I got another text from that blocked number again. I don't know who it is, and I don't know what they want with me, but it's really starting to scare me."

"I have one question." She said softly. "Well, I actually have a bunch, but this one has been bugging me for a while…what's going on with you and Jacob?"

"Jacob?" I asked, cocking a brow.

"Yes, Jacob, Edward thinks that you were cheating on him with Jacob…were you?"

I bit my lip. "He kissed me yesterday."

"Has he kissed you before yesterday?"

"Not since we dated." I said.

She pursed her lips. "Well, I don't really know what to say. I mean, I guess I'm happy that everything happened between you and my dad, and that you dumped Edward's ass, but the whole thing with Jacob is confusing me…do you like him?"

"No…not anymore…much." I said. "I'm so confused, Alice!"

"Deep breaths, Bella." Alice soothed. "You just have to decide what you think is best for you right now."

I sighed. "That's not always easy, Alice."

"I know." She said. "Now, something else, we have to figure out who those texts are from."

"How are we going to do that?" I asked wearily.

"I haven't completely figured that out yet." She said. "But I promise that we'll figure something out. Can't your dad track texts or something?"

"And tell him why I'm getting them?" I asked. "Yeah that wouldn't help at all."

She pursed her lips. "That's true; Charlie doesn't need to know about everything. In fact, the less he knows the better."

"I don't think he'd appreciate your dad much if he were to find out." I said. "Are you sure that you're okay with this?"

"Bella, does he make you happy?" she asked.

I nodded. "He really does."

"Then of course I'm fine with it." She said. "I just want you to be happy, and I want him to be happy. When he came home from Jacksonville, he looked so angry, I had no idea what the fuck was going on, and I didn't want to ask. Ever since then he had been a bit snappier with us, until this morning. This morning when he came downstairs, he was in the best mood. It was confusing me, until now. Now I get why. Edward's now in a pissy mood. The men in that house are driving me crazy!"

I chuckled. "What are you gonna do? You have to live with them."

She sighed. "I know. Sometimes I wish I lived with you. It would be less stressful."

I giggled. "You're always welcome to come over for a sleepover or anything. Charlie loves having you around." I rolled my eyes. "Sometimes I think he prefers you over me."

She laughed. "I don't blame him!"

I smacked her arm playfully, and continued to drive. I wasn't exactly sure where I was going, but I figured we would get out when that was needed. That was what I loved about being friends with Alice. We could be completely comfortable with one another without needing to talk or have a place to go. We could just drive around, and be completely content with it.

We cranked the radio, and sang along-completely off tune-to every song that they played. It was awesome.

"Bella watch out!" Alice screamed suddenly.

I slammed on the breaks just as a transport truck sped through the red light at the intersection we were at. unfortunately, I stopped in the middle of the intersection, and the truck slammed right into Alice's side of my truck. My truck lurched, and I hit my head against the window, but I didn't care about the pain in my head at that moment, Alice was hurt.

"Ali!" I screamed.

I pulled out my phone, and called the police. Ten minutes later, both Alice and I were being loaded into the back of an ambulance. It was ridiculous that I had to go to the hospital, I was fine. I was worried about Alice more than anything. She had looked like she was in really bad shape.

We arrived at the hospital, and Alice was wheeled into ER, while I was ushered into an examination room. A doctor came in, and checked me out, and told me I was fine to leave.

"What about Alice?" I demanded.

"Dr. Cullen is working on her." He said. "You should probably leave, and the hospital will contact you, letting you know what's going on."

"Can't I stay?" I asked.

"It would be better if you went home." He said. "That way we can concentrate more on Ms. Cullen."

I sighed. "Okay, thank you."

I walked out of the hospital with shaking hands. Carlisle was amazing at what he did, but would he be able to help Alice? My stomach turned; what if she was beyond saving? What if there was nothing even Carlisle could do to save her?

I went out to the parking lot, searching for my truck, until I realized that it would still be at the scene of the accident, or it would already be on its way to the dump, as it was probably past rescuing. My truck had been completely totaled. I doubt it would ever run again.

I sighed and walked home. I was so nervous about Alice. I hoped that she would make it out of this. I couldn't bear to see my best friend hurt. It would _kill _me if anything were to happen to her.

Alice was my best friend; I didn't know what I would do without her.

Yes, Rose and I were close, but not nearly as close as Alice and I. I felt that I could trust Alice a bit more with my secrets, even though I knew that Rose was a vault when you told her things.

I felt almost close to tears as I thought about Alice.

"Bella?" called a voice. I turned to see a red car at the curb beside me.

"Jacob?" I asked.

"Bella, are you okay?" he asked, getting out of his car, and loping over to me. "I heard about the accident."

"I'm fine." I said, and then added in a whisper. "But I don't know if Alice will be."

"Aw Bells." He said, enveloping me into his arms. I burst into tears, thinking about what would happen if Alice didn't pull through this.

"Wanna come over?" he asked.

I nodded. "Okay."

He led me to his car, and he sped to his house in La Push. He pulled into his driveway, and led me inside.

"Billy isn't home. He's out fishing." He said.

"I swear our dad's have more of a social life than we do." I said, rolling my eyes.

He chuckled. "Yeah, they probably do."

He led me up to his bedroom, and sat with me on his bed.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I don't know." I whispered. "I mean, Alice is my best friend…if I lost her…I don't know what I'd do. She's my best friend, Jake."

He enveloped me in his arms. "Whatever happens, I'm here for you."

I burst into tears again, and held onto Jake. Just thinking about Alice not making it was killing me. I hated the thought that she wouldn't ever get to walk around or laugh again.

I hoped more than anything in the world that Alice would be okay.


	17. Chapter 17: Stable

Chapter 17: Stable

I sat near Jacob's window, staring outside, watching the rain fall. It was pouring rain and thundering and lightning. Tears were still streaming steadily down my cheeks. I couldn't stop thinking about Alice.

"Bells, you want some tea?" Jacob asked, reappearing in his room.

I shook my head. I didn't want anything. I couldn't eat, couldn't drink, couldn't think right. Not without knowing how Alice was.

"Bella, you have to eat something, or at least drink something." He said.

"She's my best friend, Jake." I whispered. "I have to know that she's okay."

"She'll be fine, Bells." Jake said, putting his arm around my shoulder. "Isn't Doctor Cullen like the best doctor in the country?"

I nodded. Jake was right. Carlisle could fix anybody.

My phone rang, and I pulled it out. I stared at the screen for a few seconds, before answering.

"Hello?" I asked, voice shaking slightly.

"Hello Bella." Carlisle's smooth voice said on the other line.

"Hi…" I squeaked, suddenly nervous. "How…how is she?"

"She's…" he hesitated. "She's stable."

"Can I come see her?" I asked immediately.

"She's sleeping right now, and probably won't wake up for a while. We've put her on painkillers. I'm actually about to head home for the night. She won't be needing anything else right now." He said. "Would you mind…coming over? Not necessarily for sex…we've both just had a long day…I…I need someone."

"Yeah, of course." I said, trying to watch my words as Jake was standing right beside me. "I'll be right there."

"Thank you, Bella." He said, I could hear the relief in his voice. I was sure that he wanted to make sure that I actually was okay, as he hadn't checked me over, it had been another doctor, but when I got there, I had a feeling he wouldn't be able to keep his hands off me.

I may have to push him a little to make sure of that, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle.

Jake looked at me. "Is she okay?"

I nodded. "Could you take me home? I want to change out of these clothes and go see her."

He nodded. "Of course. Do you want me to drive you to the hospital?"

"No thanks." I said. "I'll take my tru-"

Oh. My truck was ruined. I paused. Jacob couldn't know where I was really going. He couldn't know that I was going to the Cullens' house to see Carlisle instead of to the hospital to see Alice. If Jake found out about Carlisle and I, he would probably try to kill Carlisle. I knew Jacob well enough to know that.

"No, Jake, I'll just walk there." I said.

"Bells, you're going to walk all the way to the hospital in a thunderstorm?" he asked. "I'm not gonna let you do that."

I bit my lip. "I'll take the bus. Or a cab."

"No, Bells, that's a waste of money. Let me drive you." he pleaded.

"Jake, it's fine. I can take the cruiser. I don't think Charlie will mind." I said.

"Where are you really going?" he demanded, anger clear in his voice. "Why won't you let me take you? You aren't really going to the hospital, are you? Are you going off to see your little boyfriend, Edward?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but I broke up with him." I snapped. "And I just need to be alone to go see her! Can't you respect that, Jacob?"

"Bella, I don't want to go into the hospital with you." he said softly, immediately calming down. "I just want to drive you to the door."

I turned away from him. "You know what? I'll just walk there from here."

"Wait, Bells," he said, grasping my hand and turning me back to him. "I'm sorry I snapped at you. I really am. I just…I don't want you getting sick or struck by lightning. Please Bella."

I looked down. "Jake, you don't have to…"

"I want to." He said.

I bit my lip. What could I say?

"Just drive me home, okay?" I said. "Please, Jake, just drive me home. I'll be fine. I promise. I'll get Charlie to take me to the hospital."

"And if Charlie's not home?" he asked.

"Then you can take me." I knew that Charlie was home, though, and I could tell Charlie that I was going to see Edward and needed him to drive me to the Cullens' house.

Jake sighed. "Fine."

We walked out of his house and to his car. I couldn't wait to go see Carlisle. I smiled to myself. Tonight would be fun.

In silence, Jake drove to my house. I knew that he was annoyed that I wasn't letting him take me to the hospital, and he probably suspected that I wasn't actually planning on going to the hospital, but he never said a word.

He pulled into my driveway, and I turned to open the car door.

"Wait, Bella." He said.

I turned to look at him.

"You really broke up with him?" he asked quietly.

I bit my lip and nodded. "I did."

"Because of me?" he asked as if he didn't really want to hear the answer.

"No." I whispered. "Not because of you."

He pulled my face close to his and kissed me quickly, before I pulled away.

"Jake, you need to stop doing that." I said softly. "We aren't dating anymore."

He sighed. "But I wish we were…Bells, come on, we were so good together. Don't deny it."

"I gotta go. Bye Jake." I said before exiting his car and going into my house.

I didn't let thoughts of Jake bother me too much. I knew that he wanted to get back together with me, but that did not give him the right to kiss me whenever he wanted.

I sighed, and went into my kitchen to look for Charlie.

"Charlie?" I called.

"Bells! Are you okay?" he asked, coming into the kitchen.

"Yeah, dad, I'm fine." I said. "My truck is ruined, and Alice had most of the impact on her, but she's okay. Dr. Cullen worked on her."

"Thank god that doctor is in this town." Charlie said, shaking his head. "I honestly don't know what we'd do without him."

"Yeah, I know." I said. "Dad, would you be able to drive me to the Cullens' place tonight? I wanna go to see Rose and stuff."

"Sure, just give me a couple minutes." He said. "Are you spending the night there?"

"I don't know." I said honestly. "I might see if I can go visit Alice, though."

"Alright. I'll meet you out at the cruiser." He said.

I went up to my room, and quickly changed. I slipped into the sexiest black lace bra and panty set I could find, and put on a sweater and jeans over top of it. Carlisle wouldn't be able to keep his hands off of me.

I went back downstairs, and outside to Charlie's cruiser. I slid in the passenger seat, and waited for Charlie. A little bit later he came out, and we were off to the Cullens' house.

As we pulled into the driveway, I saw that Edward's car wasn't in the garage, which was slowly closing as we approached, and that only Carlisle and Alice's cars were there. I breathed a sigh of relief. I was glad that Edward wasn't there; I didn't want to have to deal with him today.

"Thanks dad." I said.

"Let me know if you're coming home tonight or not." He said.

"Of course." I said, before exiting the car. I made my way up the driveway, and let myself in the house. I assumed Carlisle would be upstairs, either in his bedroom or his office. I poked my head in his bedroom, and found him lying on his bed reading a book. Even though I wasn't near him, I could see the lines of worry in his face. I could tell that he was stressed about what was going on, especially Alice's current predicament. I quietly opened the door, hoping he wouldn't hear, and made my way into the bedroom, locking the door behind me. He didn't look up, so I slid onto the bed in front of him. I made my way up his body, stopping at his waist.

He looked at me over the book, and a smile lit his face.

"You finally came." He said. I could hear the relief in his voice. "You're okay."

"Of course I'm okay." I said. "Alice got the brunt of the crash. Now, you've had a long day…relax."

"Bella, I want to make sure that you aren't hurt." He said.

"Just relax." I said, and slowly undid his pants. His eyes widened at me, but I ignored him. I slid off his pants, and his erection sprang free. I took his cock in my hands, and slowly began to massage him. I could feel that Carlisle was becoming more aroused by the second, and I flicked my tongue over his tip. Carlisle moaned, and threw his head back into the pillows. I smiled at the response I had gotten, and took the entire tip of his cock into my mouth and sucked. I took all of him into my mouth, and hummed softly, sending vibrations through him. I felt him twitch in my mouth, and soon he climaxed, spilling his warm seed into my mouth. I swallowed every drop, and took him out of my mouth.

He pulled me into his arms, and held me against his chest.

"Thank you for that." He said.

I smiled. "You don't need to thank me. Thank you for…" for what? What could I really thank Carlisle for? "Thank you for everything you've done for me."

He shook his head. "Bella, don't thank me…I left you in Jacksonville. I should have stayed there with you…I'm so sorry for that."

I pressed my lips against his. "Don't apologize."

"Are you sure that you're okay, though?" he asked. "The accident…did you hit your head?"

"I did hit my head, but the doctor told me I was fine and no damage was done." I said.

"Did he x-ray it?" he asked.

"No, but Carlisle, I'm fine. There was no damage done, I didn't even hit my head that hard. I don't even think the glass of the window broke. There wasn't any glass in my hair. I'm fine."

"Your head doesn't hurt?" he asked. I shook my head. He let out a long breath. "As long as you're sure that you're okay."

He held me tight, and I snuggled against him. I wished that I could stay like this forever with him. Our relationship was a weird one, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I knew that our relationship could never really go past this. We would probably never be able to step out together in public, and we would never be able to meet somewhere out of either of our houses or hotel rooms.

I didn't want to leave his side, but I knew I would have to. I didn't care that I hadn't gotten much physical pleasure out of tonight; I had gotten enough pleasure just seeing Carlisle relaxing and at ease.

"I should go." I said quietly. "I don't think I should spend the night…I haven't been home much over the past couple of weeks."

He kissed my neck. "I'll drive you."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

He nodded. "Of course. You can tell your father that I was just driving you home from the hospital."

"Alright." I said. "I'll meet you out at your car then."

He nodded. It was just in case Edward was just coming into the house as we were leaving, he couldn't see us together, or else he would snap.

I went out to the garage, and waited by Carlisle's car. There weren't any other cars in the garage, so I was safe. Carlisle came out of the house, and over to his car. He unlocked the doors and we got in. I smiled at him.

He started the car, and began the drive to my house. It wasn't a long drive, but I cherished every moment in the car with him. Who knew when we'd be able to have another private moment like this? He pulled into my driveway, and I looked into the house to see that no lights were on. Charlie had already gone to bed.

I turned to Carlisle, and he grasped my face between his hands, and captured my lips in a kiss that made my heart flutter.

When we broke apart, we were both breathing heavily, and I pecked him on his lips once more before I exited his car and went into the house. I heard him pull out of the driveway just before I went up to my room.

I had just flopped onto my bed, when I felt my phone vibrate. I groaned and pulled it out of my pocket to see that I had received a picture message. My stomach lurched and my heart began racing. I opened the message to see a picture of Carlisle and I kissing in his car in my driveway.

That hadn't even been five minutes ago! Who had been outside of my house when I came home? Who would have gotten a picture of us together?

I threw my phone onto the floor, not even wanting to look at it. My hands were shaking slightly, and I knew that whoever this person was, they were smart. Really smart, and really sneaky.

I couldn't tell Carlisle about this. He would flip.


	18. Chapter 18: Confusion

**AN: No matter what happens in this chapter, this is, and always will be a Carlisle/Bella story. Jake will never take Carlisle's place, I promise.**

Chapter 18: Confusion

Over the next few weeks, Carlisle and I met up whenever and wherever we could. A couple times he had come over to my place when Charlie wasn't home, I had gone over to his place when no one else was there, and we had met up at a motel in Seattle a couple of times.

In fact, right now, I was lying in his arms on a motel bed, just about to fall asleep. Our bodies were slick from the sweat of our recent activities, and we were both tired. I snuggled close to him, and he held me tight, as if he never wanted to let me go.

I loved being with Carlisle more than anything. I couldn't imagine being with Edward at this point in my life. In my mind, I couldn't help but compare Carlisle to his son, and Carlisle was obviously the better choice. Carlisle was much more mature than Edward, and I actually enjoyed being around Carlisle.

The only problems with our relationship were that we could never be seen out in public together and someone was pretty much blackmailing me because they knew I was with him. I knew whoever it was hadn't actually told me that they would tell people about us unless I did something, but I was pretty sure it would come to that sooner or later. That would have to be the only reason they were playing around with my head, sending me texts and pictures of Carlisle and I. I sighed quietly, thinking about what I was going to do about whoever it was sending me these texts.

"What's wrong?" Carlisle whispered, stroking my hair.

"Nothing." I said, smiling up at him, hoping that he would let it go. I hadn't told him about the other two messages I had received from this mystery person, he only knew about the first one.

"Did that person text you again?" he asked, nervousness seeping into his voice and eyes.

"It's not that." I said, carefully avoiding answering the question. "It's just…I wish that we could go out in public together. I wish that we could go out somewhere, you know?"

He held me tighter. "I know, Bella. I wish we could too. I truly do. I wish that we could go out for dinner…or go out for a walk together without being scrutinized by the town. I wish that we didn't have to meet in a motel, under fake names, and have two different rooms, just in case anyone were to see us. I wish that we could just be happy together, without having to worry about all that."

I closed my eyes and rested my head on his shoulder. "I know Carlisle; I wish that we could be happy together too."

"We are happy together…" he said softly. "We just can't be public with out happiness."

He was right. We were happy when we were together, but we both still had that nagging fear in the back of our minds that we would be caught. He had no idea that I had told Alice about us, he really didn't need to know that either.

I didn't want to tell him, because I knew that it would be hard for him. It would be hard for him to know that his daughter knew what we were doing, and I honestly didn't blame him. I would _never _tell Charlie about us…he would never look at Carlisle the same way again.

Alice. My mind switched back to her. She was fine now, still recovering in the hospital, I had visited a bunch of times, and she had minimal damage. A few broken bones were the worst of the damage done. There was no head trauma or permanent physically damage.

I was glad that Alice was fine. I mean, she was my best friend and I could trust her with my life. She was one of my favourite people and I loved her to pieces; I would hate for anything to happen to her.

I smiled up at Carlisle, and pressed my lips lightly against his, before burrowing myself in the crook of his body and laying my head against his shoulder.

"Good night, Bella." He whispered against my hair.

"Good night, Carlisle." I whispered back before falling right to sleep.

That night, I didn't dream of anything that I could recall, but when I woke up, Carlisle was gone. I looked around, disoriented. Where had he gone? I looked over at his pillow and saw a little piece of paper. I picked it up and rubbed at my eyes.

_Bella, I had to leave early this morning for work, they called me in while you were still asleep. Your room is paid for already; you just have to be out of there by eleven o'clock, and hand in your keys. I'll see you later, Bella._

_- Carlisle._

I sighed quietly, I had wished for a few extra moments with Carlisle, but I understood why he couldn't stay. I began to pack up what little items I had brought with me, got dressed, with nice lingerie on underneath; just in case I decided to pay Carlisle a little visit later on, and went out to the front desk to check out. I handed the lady my room keys, and went outside.

Carlisle had had a car in storage that he had been planning on selling, so when he found out about my truck, he had given me the car he had in storage. I really couldn't thank him enough for it, I would be forever grateful to him.

I slid inside, and started it. I still wasn't used to the fact that the engine didn't roar to life as it had in my truck, with this car it was more of a purr. Although I had had this car for a couple of weeks, I still wasn't used to it. I still felt the urge to slam on the gas pedal when I wanted to move the car, or to crank the wheel whenever I wanted to turn.

Yes, I had accidentally broken numerous traffic laws; mostly speeding laws whilst on the road. It was my gut instinct to slam my foot on the gas pedal since my truck had been so slow.

I started the car, and slowly backed out of my parking spot, barely tapping the gas pedal. I had my bags on the seat next to me as I drove home.

I paused, thinking. I _should _go home, but I really didn't want to. I pulled over, and thought about where I could go.

I didn't want to go to the hospital; Alice may think that I was only there to see Carlisle, as she had said a couple times before when I was visiting her. I had told her that I truly was only there to see her, but she was stubborn. I had also explained that Carlisle and I would never risk being seen in public, and that I was only there to see her. She had told me she was fine with our relationship, as long as I didn't go into too many gory details about what we do behind closed doors.

I understood that. I mean, if she and my dad were in a relationship, I wouldn't want to know all the secrets about what was going on between them.

I bit my lip. I didn't know where I wanted to go. I could go to La Push, but did I really want to see Jake and have to hear him ask me to be with him constantly? Did I really want to hear him go on about how much he cared about me?

I jumped as my phone beeped, and my stomach lurched. Immediately I started looking around, looking for anyone who was lurking around, but the street was empty. I grabbed my purse, and pulled out my phone, and sighed in relief when I saw that the text was just from Jake.

**Can you come over? Please.**

I sighed. I guess that was where I was going.

**Be there in ten. **

I drove to La Push, thinking about the last time I had visited Jake. It had been right after the accident…and he had kissed me, again. We had also gotten into a "fight". It wasn't anything major, but nonetheless it had been a fight…and in a way it had been a fight because of my relationship with Carlisle. I didn't care though. I had to protect my relationship with Carlisle with everything I had. I could not let it get out.

I pulled into Jake's driveway, and he jogged out of his house. As I got out of the car, his eyes stared at the car in disbelief.

"Where'd you get this?" he asked.

"Dr. Cullen had it in storage and gave it to me." I said.

"Well that's nice of him." Jake said. It may have just been me being paranoid, but I thought I may have heard slight suspicion in his voice.

I shrugged. "He's really nice."

"Come in." Jake said, leading me into his house. I tried not to let it bother too much that he had his hand on the small of my back. I did a good job of ignoring it, and just kept walking.

"Living room?" he asked.

"Sure." I said with a shrug, and walked into the living room.

"Is your dad home?" I asked lightly, hopping onto the couch.

"No, he went out." Jake said.

Jake came over to the couch and sat with me. He didn't say anything, but he did wrap his arm around my waist, and he pulled me close to him.

"Jake, stop." I said. "We've been over this."

"But you aren't with anybody now." He said softly. "You broke up with him, you're unattached. Who cares now what we do?"

"I do!" I said fiercely, trying to move away from him, but his grip never loosened. "Jake, we aren't together anymore. You can't just kiss me whenever you want!"

"You've kissed me back." He growled. "You still have feelings for me. Don't deny it, Bells!"

I looked away from him. I did still have feelings for Jake, but that didn't change the fact that I didn't want to be with him.

Did I want to be with him?

No. I wanted to be with Carlisle.

But I could never be with Carlisle out in public.

"See?" Jake whispered. "You have feelings for me."

He shifted us so that he was on top of me, his breathing was ragged, and I could see the intensity in his eyes. He pinned my arms down with his hands so that I wouldn't be able to fight against him.

"Jacob…" I whispered. "Please, stop."

"You aren't with him anymore, Bella." He growled.

"I'm not with you anymore either, Jake." I said softly.

He stared down at me. "Bella, I love you. I love you so much. Can't you see that? Please, give me another chance…I promise I won't fuck it up. Just give me another chance, Bells, please. It kills me to see you with some asshole like Edward."

I looked away from him; I didn't know what to say to him. He turned my face back to his, and slowly leaned down, looking as though he was waiting to see if I would push him away. I didn't, and as his lips connected with mine, I couldn't help but moan slightly into his mouth. Within moments our tongues were swirling around with one another's, and our hands were tangled in each other's hair. He ground himself into me, and I couldn't help but return the favour.

"Bella…" he moaned against my mouth.

In the heat of this moment with Jake, I needed him. I needed to be with him…I needed to have every part of him.

Our mouths broke away from each other, and Jake placed his hands on my hips. He kneaded and massaged the area there, causing me to moan in pleasure. His hands roamed my body, and they moved up to my breasts. He massaged them, and I wrapped my hands around his neck, and pulled his mouth back down to mine. We kissed again, and his hands went down to the hem of my shirt, and he pulled it up off of my body, and over my head. He stared at my body, as if drinking in the sight.

"You are so beautiful." He whispered. He bent down, and moved my bra away with his teeth, revealing my breasts to him. His tongue flicked out over one of my nipples, and a sense of déjà vu washed over me. I remembered Carlisle in this exact position, doing the same thing to me, making me feel the same way.

I stiffened, but Jake didn't stop. He sucked on my now hardened nipple, and teased it softly with his teeth.

I squirmed away from Jake, and pulled my bra back over my breasts, trying to cover myself, I stood up, and looked around for my shirt, but before I knew what was happening, Jake had me pinned against the wall.

"You can't keep doing this to me, Bella." He whispered. "Leading me on like that. It's not fair to me."

I knew it wasn't fair. And in all honestly, I was sorry for it.

"Jake, I'm sorry…but…I can't…we aren't…it's not right…we aren't…I can't do this right now…I'm so sorry…it isn't fair to you…and I…I can't…" I pushed him away from me, and bent down to pick up my shirt.

"So that's it?" he demanded as I pulled my shirt back over my head. "What the fuck is going on with you, Bells? Talk to me." he pulled me back close to him, and it wasn't him trying to be sexual, he was trying to be there as a friend for me. I rested my head against his shoulder, feeling close to tears.

"I don't know." I whispered. "Jake, I don't know…I'm just really stressed out lately and…I…I don't know what's going on with me."

"Shhh…" he soothed. "Bells, you know I'm always here for you."

"I gotta go, Jake." I said, moving away from him. "I'll see you later."

I grabbed my purse off the couch, and walked away from him. As I was walking out the front door, I heard my cell phone beep, telling me I had received a text.

I whirled around and stared at Jake. He was looking at me wearily.

"Did you just text me?" I demanded.

"My phone's upstairs." He said. "Why?"

"No reason." I said and raced out the door. I got into my car and locked the doors. I fished my phone out of my purse, and opened the text. Again, it was a picture message, and my breath caught in my throat. It was a picture of Jake and me kissing on his couch, I was only in a bra and my jeans, and our mouths were connected, our hands tangled in each other's hair.

Along with the picture, there was a message.

**Why don't I send this to dear Dr. Cullen? Or maybe your best friend Alice…and she'll think you were lying to her about Jacob.**

I clapped my hand over my mouth to keep from crying out. What the fuck did this person want from me?

Another text was received on my phone, and I was scared to look at it, but I opened it, and it took me a couple times to read it over to get the jist of the message.

**Do as I say and your secret is safe. If you don't, all your secrets will be told, and news spreads like wildfire in this town. **

I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the headrest. What was I going to do? I had no idea who this person was, and what they wanted. Of course, I had to agree with what they were saying, otherwise the town would find out about Carlisle and I.

I pulled out of Jake's driveway, and drove home. I really wanted to find out who this person was and what they wanted from me. This whole thing was seriously freaking me out, and I didn't know what to do anymore.

I pulled into my driveway and went into my house. Charlie wasn't home yet, so I made myself something to eat, and went upstairs to my room. I was scared that anything I did would upset this person, and they would tell the town what I was doing in my…free time.

I sat on my bed and stared at my phone as if waiting for another text to come. I knew it would come, I knew that soon I would get a text telling me what I had to do to keep my secrets safe.

I finished off whatever it was I was eating, and leaned back against my bed. Just as I was about to fall asleep, my phone beeped.


	19. Chapter 19: Confessions

Chapter 19: Confessions 

My eyes flew open and my heart started to race in my chest. I reached for my phone, and took a deep breath, not wanting to even look at my phone. I looked down at the text, and stopped breathing altogether. Of course, the text was from the blocked number, and I had to read it over a couple times to make sure I was reading it correctly.

**Go over to the Cullen house.**

I stared at my phone. This person wanted me to go to Carlisle, and make out with him?

I bit my lip and looked out the window. It was mid afternoon, and I knew that Carlisle probably wouldn't be home.

But, I had to go. This person told me to go to the Cullen house, so I had to go. I got off the bed, and went outside, grabbing my keys and my phone on the way out. I sped to the Cullen house. I pulled into the driveway and went into the house.

It was silent in the house. I had absolutely no idea why I was here or what I was meant to do once I got here.

A beep from my phone made me jump, and I pulled out my phone to look at it.

**Go upstairs.**

I made my way to the stairs, and quietly walked up. What was I doing here? What was I supposed to do here? Where was I supposed to go now?

I made my way down the hallway, and stopped in front of Carlisle's office. From inside his office I could hear moans. That sent a pang through my heart. I knew that Carlisle and I weren't exactly…in a "real" relationship, but it still stung that he was with another woman.

I was about to walk away, close to tears, when I heard something that made my heart leap with joy…but also made my blood boil.

"Ohhh Edward." The female's voice moaned.

I wasn't sure if I should be angry or happy. I was ecstatic that Carlisle wasn't with another woman, but it pissed me off royally that _Edward_ was disrespecting Carlisle that way.

Quietly, I opened the door, and peeked inside. Edward had some girl bent over Carlisle's desk, and was literally pounding into her. I cleared my throat, and leaned against the doorway; arms crossed tightly over my chest.

Edward's head whirled around.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he demanded.

"I came to bring Alice some things." I lied. "And I heard…_this_. How can you be so god damn disrespectful to your father like this?"

"He should be thankful we aren't doing this on his bed." Edward growled.

"You are such an asshole!" I snapped and left the room. I went into Alice's room, and gathered things I thought she'd like to have with her in the hospital, and practically ran out of the house. My mind was still whirling with what I had just witnessed. I would have to tell Carlisle to disinfect his desk…but how could I tell him why?

I sighed quietly and sped to the hospital. I parked in the usual spot that I would park in, and went up to Alice's room.

"Hey Ali!" I said brightly.

"Hey Bella." She said, smiling. "They told me I can leave the day after tomorrow!"

I grinned. "That's awesome! I brought some stuff for you that I thought you might like to have, you know, just to have around."

She grinned at me. "You're awesome, ya know that?"

"I know." I laughed. "So, how's it going with you and Jasper?"

Her face darkened. "Why?"

I was taken aback. "I was just wondering…did…did something happen?"

"Just that he was making out with Jessica fucking Stanley at a party the other night." She growled. "That bitch is such a fucking slut! First she goes after my brother, and then she goes after my boyfriend? For fuck sake's, is she trying to get through the whole town in one fucking year? Next she'll go after Emmett!"

"She probably wouldn't." I said. "Rose would bite her head clean off if she went near Emmett."

"I know, but still." She sighed. "Rose told me about that slut and Jasper, and when Jasper came to visit me yesterday, I ended it with him. He was so surprised that I actually had the balls to break up with him, and he didn't even have the balls to confess to me that he had made out with the bitch. I fucking hate her, Bella, I really do. I hate both of them. I hate them so fucking much. But the worst part isn't that he cheated on me." she said that last part in a whisper.

"What's the worst part?" I asked softly.

"I…before the accident…I was pregnant." She said. "And then…after the accident…they…they told me I lost the baby…the baby was Jasper's…he didn't know yet, and I didn't know how to tell him…I had just found out the night before. He still doesn't know that I ever was pregnant. Lucky bastard doesn't have to go through all this emotional bullshit."

I stared at Alice in shock.

"Oh my god, Ali, I'm so sorry." I said.

"Don't be." She said, waving it off. "It's…it's better this way. I know how horrible it sounds, but how could I have raised that baby? That baby wouldn't have had a proper growing up, I've seen how the mothers on 16 and Pregnant are…I know I'd have Carlisle's full support, and it'd be different, but still. And, especially now that I found out about Jasper's cheating…I…I don't know."

"It's okay, Ali." I said. "You're right, it _is _for the better, I mean, like you said, you wouldn't have been able to raise the baby properly, teens aren't supposed to be mothers at that point in their lives. Sometimes accidents like that happen, but that's beyond any of our control…it may sound horrible, but it is better this way, Ali. Don't you want to have a family with someone who loves you and cares for you?"

She nodded. "That's what I thought I had with Jasper, though, and look what happened."

"You'll find someone else." I soothed. "Jasper isn't the only guy in the world. You are the most amazing person on the planet; any guy should consider himself lucky to be around you."

She smiled at me. "Bella, you're amazing. I honestly don't know what I'd do without you. You're the best friend a girl could hope for. You're like my sister, and I love you, so much…I don't deserve a friend like you…you're just…you're too good to me…even when I fuck up."

"It was an accident, Ali." I said. "It's not like you went off and got pregnant on purpose."

She looked away, and wouldn't meet my eyes.

"That's the thing, Bella." She whispered. "It…it wasn't by accident…you know how Jasper's mom hated me?" I nodded; they had always had a rocky relationship. "Well…we thought that if I got pregnant with his baby, she'd finally accept me. I know that it was stupid, but that was what we thought the only way was…I didn't care about what people at school would think about me, I just wanted his mom to _finally _accept me. It's gotta be the stupidest thing I've ever done…especially after…after…" she trailed off, looking like she was about to cry.

In all honesty, I was shocked. I always knew that Alice wanted Jasper's mom to accept her, but I never would have thought that she'd go this far to get that.

I pulled her into my arms, and hugged her. "It's okay, Ali. Even if you hadn't lost the baby, I would still be here for you. You're my best friend; I wouldn't abandon you when you needed me most. I would be there to support you as much as I could."

She sobbed into my shoulder. "You're amazing, Bella. You are absolutely amazing. I'm so lucky to have you as my friend, you have no idea."

"Shhh." I soothed. "I'm here for you whenever you need me…we're best friends."

She pulled away from me and smiled through her tears. "Thanks Bella."

I smiled at her. "Don't worry about it. That's what best friends are for, right?"

"Yeah, definitely." She said. "Ugh. I still can't believe Jasper…I can't believe that I actually fucked that scum. If I had known he was like that…"

"I know, I don't blame you, I was shocked when you told me. I never woulda thought…"

"It just makes me feel so stupid." She whispered. "I mean, how could I not have known that he was _cheating_ on me?"

"I had no idea that Edward was cheating on me." I said with a shrug.

"But you were cheating on him, and you wanted to break up with him anyway…I didn't want to break up with Jasper." She said softly. "I actually wanted to marry him one day."

I hugged her again. "I know…but it's better now that you know what was going on. Just don't go back to him, whatever you do, do not go back to him. He doesn't deserve you at all."

"I won't." she said. "No matter what, I won't go back to him."

At that moment, I heard a knock on the door; I turned to see Jasper standing in the doorway.

"Can I talk to you, Ali?" he asked in his slight southern drawl. "Please, I need a moment alone with you. I wanna apologize for what I did."

"I want Bella to stay here." She said. "I don't want to be alone with you."

"Please, Ali." He said, practically begging.

"Jasper, I don't even want to look at you right now, let alone talk to you. You can either talk with Bella here, or leave."

He glanced at me desperately, and I shrugged. This wasn't my problem, it was theirs.

He turned on his heel and left the hospital room. Alice smiled, obviously pleased with herself.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked.

She grinned at me. "I'm fine. He's an asshole trying to beg for forgiveness…I'm not gonna fall for it, because I know that he'll probably end up cheating again. There's no way I'm gonna let that happen, and if he thinks that I will, he's mistaken."

I smiled at her. "Glad to see that you're handling this this well."

She smiled. "You helped me think things over. You helped me realize that he's not the only guy I'll ever love…there will be more guys."

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, and I stiffened.

"Ali, I have to go…I gotta make dinner for Charlie." I said. "You should get some sleep…I'll probably swing by tomorrow after school or something."

"Sure." She said, smiling.

"Bye Ali." I said, leaving the hospital room. I raced out to my car, and sat inside, pulling out my phone. I braced myself as I opened the text.

**Get poor little Alice and Jasper back together, no matter what it takes. **

I stared at my phone. Why did they want me to get Alice and Jasper back together? And more importantly, what would that solve? I sighed quietly. More importantly, how would I be able to convince Alice?


	20. Chapter 20: Under the Weather

Chapter 20: Under the Weather

I sat on my bed, staring at the latest text message I had received. Why did I need to get Alice and Jasper back together? What purpose would that serve? I knew that Alice wouldn't even want to go near Jasper, so how was I supposed to even try and get them back together?

How could I lie to my best friend and tell her that I wanted her and Jasper to get back together?

I bit my lip, and thought. I wasn't sure what this person would do to me if I didn't get them back together. Would they reveal to the town that I was with Carlisle? Would they send him the picture of Jacob and me together? Would they send Alice the picture of Jacob and me together?

The only two things that I was really worried about were that they would reveal Carlisle and my relationship or they would send Carlisle the picture of Jake and me. I didn't want the town to find out about us for obvious reasons, and I wasn't sure how I would explain to Carlisle about what had happened between Jake and me.

I would be able to explain it to Alice better than I could explain it to Carlisle. Alice would probably be way more understanding and definitely wouldn't get jealous over it.

I sighed and lay down on my bed, staring up at my ceiling. Was it wrong of me to be with Carlisle? Should I continue on what I was doing with him, or end it before it got out of hand? What I had with Carlisle was amazing, but was it really worth it? Was it really worth all the sneaking around just to be able to steal a few moments at a time with him?

I turned onto my side, and hugged my pillow, seeking the comfort it would bring. I didn't know what I was going to do about this. I didn't _want _to end it with him, but I might have to. Whoever was sending me these texts was taking it way too far for my liking, and if Carlisle found out about them he'd hit the roof. First of all, he'd be angry with me for not telling him, and second he'd be angry with whoever was sending the texts.

Somehow, I was able to fall asleep even though my mind was full of thoughts about Carlisle.

When I woke up I felt horrible. My whole body ached and I felt nauseous. Charlie came into my room, took one look at me, and told me to stay home and that he'd call the school for me.

I lay in bed, feeling absolutely horrendous. I absolutely hated being sick, it was the worst feeling in the world. I just wanted to get better and be done with it.

I hoped that nothing was seriously wrong with me. I hoped that it was just some twenty four hour bug, and not food poisoning or the flu. Although both of those weren't truly horrendous, but I still wouldn't want to have to be in bed for more than just a day or so.

As I lay in bed, I thought things over. Everything with Carlisle was still confusing me; I didn't know what to do. I mean, I absolutely loved being with him, but was it too dangerous? This was why he hadn't wanted to try this in the first place, but I had changed his mind.

Had he been right all along? Was what we were doing really a mistake? He had his whole professional and social life at stake here, and in all reality, I wasn't really risking anything. Sure I was risking a couple people in town staring at me when I went out, but that wasn't really a big deal compared to Carlisle risking his job and his social status. If the town found out about us, he was sure to get fired and look like a pedophile or something. He would never be able to step out in public again. The whole town would judge him without actually knowing the whole story. Our town was full of gossips, and the story would get twisted and turned until the truth was barely even there anymore. The truth would be such a tiny part of what half the town would know, that everyone would think that Carlisle had taken advantage of me, and he had forced himself onto me, which was obviously the opposite of what had happened. Sometimes I really hated this town. I hated that no matter what you said, or what you did, the whole town would scrutinize your every move. They didn't stop to think about what they were hearing was true or not, or even if they knew the whole story.

I sighed quietly. I didn't know what to do. Why was I just realizing now how much was ay jeopardy for him? Why had I not thought about this beforehand? It was all dawning on me now, and it scared me.

It scared me to realize how much Carlisle was putting at stake doing this. I hadn't realized how serious this whole thing was until right now. I hadn't truly thought about how much this would change things for him as well as for me. I felt very guilty for doing this to him. I hated that he was risking pretty much everything for me.

A sudden wave of nausea rolled through me, and I ran to the washroom and threw up into the toilet. When I was finished, I sat up, and leaned my head against the cool wall. I closed my eyes, breathing heavily. I hoped that the nausea was gone. I waited for a few moments before I stood up. I stood up for a few seconds, to make sure I didn't have to throw up again. I didn't feel nauseous, so I went back into my bedroom and lay down. I didn't feel nauseous anymore, I felt much better now.

I got out of bed and went downstairs, wanting something to eat. I rooted through the cupboards, finding nothing that I wanted. I opened the fridge to find nothing as well. I stood by the fridge, thinking of what I wanted. I settled for a peanut butter sandwich. I took it back up to my room with me, and slid back into bed. After I got comfy, I finished off my sandwich and fell asleep.

I woke to two texts on my phone. One was from Alice and the other was from Carlisle.

**Bella, where are you today?**

That one was from Alice.

**Bella, Alice told me that you didn't come to school today. Are you okay?**

I decided to text them both the same thing. Easier than having to type out two messages when they were just going to say the same thing, right?

**I was just feeling a bit under the weather, I'm fine now though.**

I sent that, rolled over, and fell back sleep.


	21. Chapter 21: Help

Chapter 21: Help

As the days went by, I felt sick every single morning. Every morning I would empty my stomach into the toilet. I truly had been stupid not to realize what it was. It wasn't until two weeks later, when I realized that my period was late that I knew exactly what was wrong with me.

My period had never been late in my life. Even when I had first gotten it, it was always at the same time every month. For my period to be late even one day was completely bizarre.

It took me two days to realize that it was late. Two days to realize what had happened. Two days to realize how severe the consequences from my relationship with Carlisle were.

Two days to realize that I was pregnant. I was pregnant. With Carlisle's baby.

I held my head in my hands, feeling like I was going to scream. What was I going to do? I couldn't be _pregnant_! I wasn't ready to be a mother. It didn't make sense, either. Though we hadn't ever used condoms, I always took my birth control pill. _Always._ I _never _forgot to take it. I ran into my bathroom, and wrenched the box of pills out of my medicine cabinet, and read the back.

**While birth control pills **_**reduce **_**the chances of getting pregnant, they do not work 100% of the time.**

Oh. My. _God._

It was possible. It was possible for me to be pregnant right now. I looked down at my stomach and lifted my shirt, as if hoping to see some sign that I wasn't actually pregnant. Of course, that must have been the stupidest thing that I could do in this situation. It's not like you can _see_ the baby inside of you without an ultra sound.

An ultra sound made me think of a hospital…which made me think of Carlisle.

Carlisle.

How was he going to react? How the fuck could I tell him? What was I going to do?

That last question kept swirling around in my head. _What was I going to do_?

I could only imagine the looks I would get when I went out in public with a huge pregnant belly. I didn't know what to do. Should I abort the pregnancy? Put the baby up for adoption? Or keep the baby and try to raise it myself? I knew that Carlisle would probably want to help, but that wouldn't really be possible…if I were to keep the baby, the father was to remain a secret. I wouldn't tell anybody-except maybe Alice-who the father was. I couldn't even imagine the town knowing who the father of my baby was. The entire town would judge and stare and jump to conclusions.

I closed my eyes. What the fuck was I going to do?

Carlisle had been right all along. Our relationship was wrong. It never should have happened. Now look what happened. I was pregnant because of our stupidity.

I slid off my bed, and went down to my car in the driveway. There was a youth centre close to my house that I could go to talk about things. I knew one of the workers in there, and I knew that she would keep whatever I was telling her to herself. Her name was Sandra; I had come to her a couple times before. I pulled into the parking lot of the centre and went inside. Immediately I saw her and went over to her.

"Can I talk to you?" I asked.

At the look on my face she nodded and led me into her office.

We sat down, and she looked at me, not prodding me, just waiting for me to be ready to speak.

I took a deep breath and looked at her. Her eyes were a beautiful blue-green colour. I don't know how I hadn't noticed them before.

I bit my lip, unsure of where to begin. Sandra patiently waited. She was used to dealing with these kinds of things. And I knew that I could talk to her about anything and she wouldn't judge me for it.

I took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."

Something changed slightly in her eyes, and I knew it was the shock of what I had just told her.

"Do you…do you know who the father is?" she asked.

I nodded. "I do."

"And how does he feel about this?" she asked.

"He…he doesn't exactly know yet." I said. "I just found out today."

"And why did you come here first?" she asked.

"I need help." I whispered. "I don't know what to do."

"Well, do you know what your options are?"

I nodded. "Yeah I do. I just don't know what the right option is."

"Well, Bella, I really think that you should talk to the father about it and see what he thinks. That's where you should start. Then, you and him can decide what to do about it. It's a very hard situation for anybody who isn't prepared to be in. after you talk to him, you are always welcome to come here and talk about it."

I smiled. "Thanks Sandra. You really helped me out."

"That's what I'm here for." She said with a smile as I exited her office. I had known that she wouldn't be able to give me all the answers that I wanted, but the answers I wanted were the decisions that I had to make by myself. I had to decide what I was going to do with this baby, no one else could make that decision for me.

I sighed as I got into my car and drove off. I still wasn't used to how well this car worked, compared to my trusty old truck. Even though I now had this amazing car, I still sometimes missed my truck. Of course, my truck was at the back of my mind now, the pregnancy was still the top thing assaulting my thoughts.

I drove to the Cullen house, hoping that Carlisle was the only one home. I should've called him to ask before coming, but I didn't want to. I had to go in and talk to him as soon as I could. I had to see him.

The house was silent when I walked in. My stomach dropped. Really? Carlisle was out when I really needed to talk to him? This was the most important thing that I would ever have to talk to him about, and he wasn't home. Lovely.

I went upstairs and poked my head in his office. Empty. I went into his bedroom to find that he was dozing on his bed. I sighed quietly. Should I go over and lay with him or should I just leave?

I closed the door behind me, making sure to lock the door, and went over to the bed. Since it was only three in the afternoon, he must have worked the night shift last night. I slid into bed, hoping he wouldn't wake up. He didn't, and for about twenty minutes I watched him sleep. I felt like a complete stalker, but that didn't matter right now.

When he did wake up, he looked surprised to see me, but a smile lit his face and he kissed me softly.

"Carlisle, I need to tell you something." I whispered.

Immediately his expression became worried. "What's wrong?"

"I…I'm pregnant." I looked down, scared of seeing the expression on his face. A pregnant pause-pardon the pun-fell over the room. Neither of us were sure what to do or what to say. I couldn't meet his eyes. I didn't want to see the horrified expression on his face.

Was he angry with me? Why would he be? I had never been this scared about something in my life. Fear pierced my heart as I waited for Carlisle to say something.

I looked up at him through my lashes to see him staring at me in shock.

"But you take…" he whispered.

"They don't work one hundred percent of the time." I whispered. "I read the back of the box this morning."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"What do you want to do?" he asked.

"I don't know." I said. "I really don't know what to do."

He didn't say anything. He just looked at me. I could see the nervousness in his eyes, but somehow he seemed confident as well.

"You were right." I whispered. "You were right all along…we never should have gotten together…now look what happened."

"We'll figure something out, Bella." He soothed. "There are many options available to you, you know that."

"I don't think I would be able to get an abortion..." I whispered. "I don't think I could do that, Carlisle. And, what if I can't give up the baby for adoption? How would I be able to do that? I don't think I'd have the strength to do that, Carlisle, I really don't. I think…I think I'm going to keep the baby. I know how crazy it sounds, but I don't think I'm strong enough to choose anything different."

He nodded. "I had a feeling that you would decide to keep the baby. I promise to help you as much as I can. I'll try my hardest to be there for you every step of the way."

"Nobody can know that you're that father, though." I said. "You would lose your job, the whole town would hate you…I would never forgive myself if that were to happen."

"Maybe I don't care what the town thinks." He said. "And I can get a job somewhere else."

"Somewhere else?" I echoed.

He didn't exactly meet my eyes, but I could see it clearly. If Carlisle and I moved away from Forks, we could actually be happy with one another. We could go out in public together. If we were to move away from Forks, all of our troubles would disappear. We could raise our child together, and be a happy family.

"Where?" I asked. His head snapped back to look at me. "Where could we go?"

"I don't know." He said.

"Could we?" I asked softly. "Could we just leave this place forever?"

He hesitated. "I…I don't know, Bella."

"Carlisle, picture it." I said, getting excited now. "We wouldn't have to hide our relationship! We could go out in public together where we wouldn't be judged. Carlisle, we could actually do this!"

He looked unsure.

"What about your father?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I'll keep in contact with him of course, but he'll remain on a need-to-know basis. The only person who I might tell would be Alice."

He nodded. "I think that Alice may be the only person you could truly trust with this."

I smiled. "Can we really do this?"

"I will make arrangements as soon as I can." He said.

I pressed my lips against his. "We'll be okay."

"Yes, we will." He said with a smile.

Unfortunately, I had been so preoccupied with my conversation with Carlisle, that I hadn't heard my phone beeping in my purse. I hadn't heard that I had received a text message.


	22. Chapter 22: Argument

Chapter 22: Argument

**What's wrong, Bella? Baby blues got you down?**

I stared at the text for a very long time. I was sitting on my bed, shocked. Of course this person knew that I was pregnant. They knew everything about me somehow. They knew where I was going, who I was going to see, and just anything that may be relevant to this web of secrets and lies they were weaving. They were trying to scare me, and though I hated to admit it, it was working. I was scared shitless of this person who I didn't even know.

Or did I know them? Obviously they were someone from Forks if they were always keeping tabs on me. If they could always see and know what I was doing, obviously I knew them. Who could it be? As I sat on my bed, I thought long and hard for the first time about who the mystery texter was.

I knew that it wouldn't be Alice. Alice would not do something like that to me.

Could it be Rosalie? She and I had never been as close as Alice and I, but would she really do that to me? I highly doubted it. Although…Jasper was her brother, would she try to scheme to get him and Alice back together? But then why not just ask me to try and help get them together? I knew that now whenever I was around Rosalie, I would have to watch what I was saying a lot more, just in case.

I doubted that it was Jake who was texting me. I knew Jake well enough to know that if he had a problem with something he would come right out and say it. And, that day at his house when I had gotten a text, it hadn't been him who had texted me.

Then there was Edward. I hadn't really considered him as the mystery texter until now. Would Edward really be that bitter about our break up that he would do this to me? No, I had been getting these fucked up texts before I had broken up with him.

My stomach dropped. Had he known all along about Carlisle and I?

_You aren't exactly innocent in this relationship either Bella! I know you've been fucking Black every chance you could get!_

His words from our break up echoed through my head. He had talked about Jake, but had he really meant Carlisle? Could he have known that Carlisle and I were together when we had broken up? And before we had broken up as well? It would make sense; I had gotten a text in Jacksonville that had seemed to be timed perfectly. Could Edward have followed us there, with the suspicion that we were up to something?

Or, maybe someone from Forks had happened to go to Jacksonville that same weekend, and had decided to have some fun.

But who would know about the pregnancy? Only three people knew. Sandra, Carlisle and me. I hadn't told anybody else that I was pregnant. Could…could someone have listened in on my conversations with Carlisle and Sandra? I knew that Sandra wouldn't say a word to anybody, and I knew that Carlisle wouldn't risk anything by telling anyone. So what the fuck?

I was so confused. In all reality it could be anybody. Angela Weber, Mike Newton, Eric Yorkie, hell, maybe even one of the nurses at the hospital.

Who knew? In a town like this, anybody could know anything about you, even if you didn't know them completely well. Rumours spread like wildfire in this town. Your father would find out who you were dating before you even got home the day you and him got together. It was hard to keep secrets in this town, and I had thought that Carlisle and I had been doing a pretty good job, until I had gotten these texts. Whoever was texting me was obviously very smart and very sneaky. Like those times they had texted me pictures of Carlisle and me together as well as Jake and me together.

Which reminded me, this person was threatening my by revealing those pictures to either Alice or Carlisle, unless I did what they asked.

They had told me to get Alice and Jasper back together.

I heaved a big sigh and called Jasper.

"Hello?" he asked into the phone.

"Hey Jasper, it's Bella." I said.

"Don't waste your breath, Rose already yelled and screamed at me for what I did to Alice. I don't need to hear it more than once. I am really sorry and I _do _feel bad about what happened."

"I actually wasn't calling to yell and scream at you." I said.

"Really?" he asked. I could hear the surprise in his voice.

"Do you want her back?" I asked softly.

"More than you know." He said. "I was drunk that night with Jessica; I don't even know what the fuck came over me. I wish that I could just get her to listen to me."

"Do you promise to never do it again?" I asked.

"I swear to god I will never hurt her again." He said.

"Then I'll _try _to convince her to maybe get back together with you." I said. "But, if you ever hurt her again, I swear to god I'll murder you, Jasper."

"Thank you, Bella." He said. I could hear the relief in his voice. No, I still didn't trust him, but maybe he actually was being sincere with me.

I hung up on Jasper and called Alice.

"Hey Bella, how are ya feeling?" she asked.

"I'm good, can you come over?" I asked. "Please."

"Yeah of course, I'll be there in ten."

Sure enough, ten minutes later I was sitting with Alice on my bed.

"Are you okay?" she asked, looking at me worriedly. "You sounded kinda weird on the phone."

"Well, I have to talk to you about a couple things." I said, trying to decide exactly how I was going to tell Alice. "Ali, I…I'm pregnant."

Her eyes just about popped right out of her head.

"You…you're pregnant?" she asked in shock. "And the baby…I'm guessing it's my dad's?"

I nodded, unsure of how to meet her eyes.

"Oh my god! I'm going to have a baby sister!" she squealed.

"I think that he and I are going to be leaving Forks." I said. "We're going to keep the baby, and we can't raise it right here. I don't know how I'd be able to keep who the father is a secret."

She nodded. "That makes a lot of sense. I just don't know how you're going to make that work. Like, won't it look a little too coincidental that you and Carlisle up and leave town at the same town?"

"We'll cross that road when we get to it." I said quickly.

"Bella I'm so happy for you!" she squealed. "I mean, I know it's not exactly the right time to be a mother, but I know that you and Carlisle will do wonderfully."

I grinned. "Thanks Ali."

"Don't mention it." She said.

"Oh, and um, don't tell anyone." I said. "Not even Rose. I'm keeping this whole thing. You're pretty much the only one who knows."

"Carlisle doesn't know?" she asked.

"He knows." I said. "I swung by earlier and told him."

"Okay good." She said. "What else did you need to talk to me about?"

"Well…don't get mad when I say this, okay?"

Immediately her expression changed from happy to defensive. "I won't make any promises."

I bit my lip. Should I just leave it? If the mystery texter sent Ali the picture of Jacob and me, would it be so horrible? I could explain it all to her.

But what if they sent it to Carlisle? Or what if they sent the picture of Carlisle and me together around town? I sighed.

"Well, I was talking to Jasper." Immediately her eyes darkened. "He really is sorry, Ali…he wants to get back together with you. He really does. He loves you more than anything."

"He hurt me, Bella." She whispered. "He fucking cheated on me with the whorehouse that is Jessica Stanley. He can say whatever he wants, but it won't stop the fact that he hurt me. I don't care how drunk or high he said he was, he still did it. That hurts more than anything else."

"What if you give him one more chance?" I asked. "I already told him that if he ever hurt you again I would murder him myself."

"But why should I risk getting hurt again?" she asked. "Why should I give him another opportunity to hurt me? I could avoid all that heartache by just avoiding him altogether. I wouldn't need to go through anything like that again."

"Ali, he really cares about you." I said softly.

"When did you and him become buddies?" she demanded. "When the fuck did you start helping him with our relationship? You _know _how much he hurt me, Bella, you _know _that I don't wanna have to go through that with him again. Why the fuck are you trying to get us back together?"

"I just know how happy you were with him." I said. "Ali, you were in love with him, and maybe you still…I just wanna see you happy."

"I have to go." She said, obviously angry. "I'll see you later." She got up off my bed and went to my bedroom door.

"Ali, wait, don't be mad." I said, following her.

"Why are you trying to get us back together?" she demanded. "Did he fuck you too and you decided to do something nice for him because he gave you a good fuck? I thought you had my dad for that! Well, cheating on a guy was never a problem for you when you were with my brother. I guess cheaters attract one another."

That last part stung.

"You don't get it do you?" she asked. "I loved Jasper so much, and then he went off and fucked Jessica and maybe even other girls. You stopped caring about Edward so you went off and cheated on him so it didn't hurt as much when you found out he was cheating on you. I was completely faithful to Jasper. For four fucking years I stood by him no matter what. I was pregnant with his baby, and then I found out he was fucking Jessica. And then, to top it all off, the girl who I thought was my best friend starts trying to get us back together. I have to go. Bye."

And with that, she left.

"Fuck!" I screamed. I grabbed my phone, and stared at the texts from the blocked number. "I hope you're happy…I tried as hard as I could."

My phone beeped, and I saw that I had gotten another text from the blocked number.

**Trying isn't good enough! If Alice wasn't angry with you before, she will be when she sees this picture of you and ex-boyfriend Jacob!**

I ran to my bedroom to see a non-descript black car driving by. My stomach lurched as for a second I thought that it was Carlisle, but it wasn't his car. It wasn't Alice's car either, her car was bright yellow. I breathed a sigh of relief, but it didn't make me feel any better that I knew someone was watching me and could hear me in a space that I thought was my own private space.

As if my day couldn't get any fucking worse.


	23. Chapter 23: Lost

Chapter 23: Lost

I felt like absolute shit. Alice quite possibly hated me after our "fight", and if she didn't hate me because of the fight, she would hate me after she saw the picture of Jacob and me together.

As if on cue, my phone rang, and it was Alice.

"Hello?" I asked nervously.

"Bella, what the fuck?" she demanded. "Why the fuck would you fucking lie to me about you and Jacob Black? I straight up asked you what the fuck was going on between the two of you, and you fucking _lied _to me, Bella. How could you? What the fuck is going on with you? First you try to get me back together with my asshole ex-boyfriend, and then you lie to me? Some best fucking friend you are."

"Ali, can you please let me explain?" I begged. "Please, let me explain what happened."

"No, Bella, I'm so fucking sick of you trying to explain things to me. I don't give a shit anymore, Bella. Have a happy fucking life with your baby and my dad."

"Wait, Ali, please stop!" I said. I paused; I could still hear her breathing on the other line, so I knew she hadn't hung up. "Do you remember how I told you about that blocked number who had been texting me?" she didn't say anything, so I just continued. "It was them who tried to make me get you and Jasper back together. They were threatening to reveal my relationship with Carlisle to the town! What else was I supposed to do?"

"You could've told me!" she snapped. "If you had fucking told me that was why you were trying to get us back together, I would've played along! Jesus fucking Christ Bella! Why the fuck didn't you just tell me what was going on?"

"I was scared." I admitted. "I was scared of what this person might do. Ali, I have no fucking idea what they could accomplish. If they have your number, I don't even want to know who else's number they have."

"Why don't you man up to your own problems?" she asked. "Just fucking admit that you made a fucking mistake. Like really, I'd respect you so much more if you could just fucking admit that you were wrong."

"Ali, I know it was wrong not to tell you, and you can't even imagine how sorry I am for it. You're seriously the best friend I could ever want, and I'm so sorry for not telling you."

"Well, that still doesn't tell me what the fuck is going on between you and Jacob." She said. I could tell she had calmed down a bit, but she was still mad with me.

"I…I honestly don't know. What happened in that picture you received should have never even happened. He kissed me…and I…I kissed him back. It honestly didn't go any further than that. I realized what I was doing and stopped it before I made a huge mistake. I swear I'm telling you the truth, Ali."

She sighed. "I honestly don't know what to believe anymore, Bella." She said. "I don't know what to say."

"Please Ali," I whispered. "You're my best friend…I'm never going to lie to you about this bullshit again, I promise."

"I don't fucking care anymore Bella." She said. "I thought you were my best friend. I thought I could fucking trust you enough that you wouldn't lie to me about anything. I thought we were supposed to tell each other everything? Have a good fucking life with my father. Good luck keeping all your shit a secret without me."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked. "Are you going to tell people?"

"No…I couldn't do that to my dad." She said before hanging up on me.

I felt horrible. Absolutely fucking horrible. What the fuck had I just done? I had just royally fucked up my relationship with my best friend.

Ali hated me. She probably fucking detested me now. How could I have done that to her? Why had I fucked this up? Why had I fucked over my best friend for a guy?

I closed my eyes, feeling close to tears.

_How could I have done this to her?_

That was the question that kept floating around in my head. How the fuck could I have done this to her? Why hadn't I just told her straight up what was going on? Why the fuck couldn't I have tried to explain it all to her, and then had her play along with what I was saying for show?

I felt like crying. I wanted to sit on my bed and bawl my eyes out as if I had just gone through a bad break up.

In a way I had; and in a way it was worse than a bad break up.

I went downstairs, pulled a tub of ice cream that was more than half eaten out of the freezer, grabbed a spoon, took it upstairs and sat on my bed with it. I opened it and started eating it. I had been craving ice cream for the past couple of days, now seemed like the perfect time to eat it.

But, there was something missing. Usually Ali and I would pig out on junk food together.

I sighed. I wanted to clear everything up with her, but I knew that she was going to be beyond reasoning with when she was this angry.

I pushed the tub of ice cream away in annoyance. I was very upset with what had happened between Ali and me…so upset that not even ice cream could solve it.

I picked it up and took it back down to the freezer. Charlie would probably polish this off later on. I went back up to my room and curled onto my bed. I couldn't sleep. My mind was whirling with everything that had happened between Alice and me in that short period of time. The call hadn't even lasted five minutes and I had lost my best friend in that time.

I spent the night wishing for sleep and tossing and turning in my bed.


	24. Chapter 24: Relaxation

Chapter 24: Relaxation

"Oh my god Carlisle!" I moaned, arching my back in pleasure. We were in a hotel in Seattle. Carlisle's finger circled around my clit as he pounded in and out of me, and the feeling of what was driving me insane with pleasure. I had needed to get away from all the drama in Forks. I had called Carlisle, telling him that I needed him, and he booked us a room right away. As Carlisle sent me over the edge, I cried out and dug my nails into his shoulder. He pressed himself harder into me, and harder against me as I felt him reach his own climax. He pulled away from me and rolled onto his side, breathing heavily. I was lying on my back, and I turned my head to look at him.

Lightly, he placed his hand on my stomach. He smiled at me.

"Just think about how it will be once it's actually here." He whispered. We didn't know the sex of the baby yet, but since Carlisle was going to be my doctor, he knew so I would know too. It wasn't fair if he got to know and I didn't.

"I know." I said softly.

I needed to think up an excuse as to why I was leaving Forks. Carlisle had already told his children that he was being called to Toronto for work, and that he trusted them to take good care of the house. I needed to think of something to tell Charlie. I didn't want to lie about where I was going, but if Carlisle and I were both going to Toronto, It would be way too much of a coincidence.

"Have you thought about any names?" I asked.

"Not yet, have you?" he asked. I shook my head.

"I want to know what it is before I start thinking about that." I said.

"Well, that appointment comes in a couple months." He said.

"I still need to figure out what I'm gonna tell Charlie." I said. "I have no idea."

"We'll think of something." Carlisle promised. "I may go up a few weeks before you, just so it looks less suspicious."

I nodded. "Okay."

I curled up next to him, and for the first time in what seemed like weeks, I fell asleep right away and slept for the whole night.

When I woke up, a strange sense of loneliness fell over me. I was alone in the big comfy bed. I was used to this by now, but I still felt pretty sad that Carlisle wasn't here with me. I knew that he worked long and hard hours, and he couldn't control when he was called in, but it would be nice if he could call in sick at least once in a while. I sighed. I was used to this. Carlisle had already paid for the room; I would just have to be out of it by eleven o'clock. I packed up the little amount of things I had brought with me, and checked out of the hotel. I got into my car and drove back to Forks.

I pulled into the driveway of my house, and went inside. Charlie was at work, so I had the whole house to myself, and I decided to give myself a spa day. I painted my nails white, and gave myself a facial. I used one of those facial masks you can get from Wal-Mart, the ones that smell amazing no matter what flavour you get.

It felt good to be able to relax for a while. I could literally fall asleep while I waited for the mask to dry on my face. I breathed in the scent of apricots and mangos and it soothed me. It helped me relax even while my life was so hectic.

I leaned back, and let the soothing scent of apricots fill my senses. It was nice to be able to just sit back and relax once in a while. I had a feeling that I wouldn't get much time to myself in the next while.

I thought about what the next stage in my life was going to be like. I would have a child. A baby. I was going to be a mother. With Carlisle.

I had never thought this would happen. What we had been doing had been fun…I had never thought it would amount to anything super serious…like a child.

I wasn't too scared though. As insane as it sounded, I knew that Carlisle and I would be okay. I was kind of sad about the fact that I had to hide the fact that Charlie was a grandfather to him. If he found out he would never be able to look at me or Carlisle the same way again.

And then my mind switched back to Alice. I needed to apologize to her, but I had a feeling that she wouldn't listen yet. She would still be super angry with me for not telling her the whole story, and she wouldn't want to listen to me. Carlisle had offered to talk to her…but of course I had said no; he didn't and wouldn't know the whole story. All he knew was that we had had a huge fight, and I had sneakily avoided telling him what it had been about.

I sighed and washed the mask off my face. It had been on long enough and had dried on my face. As I washed it off, I thought about how I could get Alice to forgive me. I needed to tell her straight up that I had made a mistake and that I was sorry. I couldn't just try and bullshit my way around what had happened…and I needed to ensure that she would forgive me…I couldn't lose her over this. I would not allow my friendship with Alice to be ruined over something like this, especially since it was something that had practically been out of my control.

I needed to set things straight with her, before I really did lose her. Although I had tried to explain that I virtually had had no choice, she hadn't cared, and to be honest, I didn't blame her.

If I had been in her shoes, I don't know how I would react. Like, if she was trying to get me to get back together with Edward, I don't know how I would react. I would probably have done the same thing to her that she had done to me. I would probably explode and yell at her.

I sighed again, and began cooking dinner for Charlie.


	25. Chapter 25: Apologies

Chapter 25: Apologies

"Toronto?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah, there's a university there that wants me! Dad, aren't you excited for me?" I asked. "Their completely paying for the school part and where I live and everything. It's completely free on a scholarship."

"But, Toronto? That's really far away, Bells." He said. "Don't you want to stay here, in Forks?"

"Mom said the same thing to me when I was considering moving in with you." I pointed out. "I think it will be healthy for me to go, they want me there soon. I think it'll be good for me to experience more than one city…I want to experience as much as possible. Please, Dad, if I don't answer them soon they'll give the scholarship to someone else." The last part was completely a lie, but I needed _something _to help convince Charlie…well the whole thing other than Toronto was a complete lie, but that didn't really matter. "_Please_, Dad, they're pretty much guaranteeing me a job if I go, they want me to come soon to get a feel for the school and everything. I've already taken all the prerequisite courses needed to go. Dad, please, this would literally make my life."

He sighed. "Well, you're eighteen and can make your own decisions now. I _do_ wish that you would stay here until graduation, but I can't keep you here. It's your own decision, and I can't really tell you what to do. If you weren't an adult, than I wouldn't let you go, but I can tell how much you want this."

I grinned and hugged him. "Thank you!"

"You're welcome, Bells, just promise you'll keep in touch?" he asked.

"I promise." I said. I went up to my room, and called Carlisle. "Guess what!" I said into the phone.

"What?" he asked.

"Charlie said yes!" I squealed. "I told him that they'd give the scholarship to someone else if he didn't let me go! He said yes, Carlisle!"

"That's great!" Carlisle said, I could hear the smile in his voice. "I'll be leaving tomorrow night, and I think your plane ticket is scheduled for two weeks from now."

"Two weeks?" I whispered. Two weeks without Carlisle. Two fucking weeks.

"I know it's long, but it's what's best to make sure no one is suspicious. I would rather be more cautious, and make you come about a month later, but I'm pretty sure you would start showing more by then, and we can't risk that. I know it'll be hard to wait for two weeks, but it has to be done. It'll be much less suspicious that way. I'm sure a lot of people will have their suspicions anyway, but the only people who know that I'm going are you and my family. I told Alice, Emmett and Edward to keep it quiet and not let a lot of people know. Of course, Alice knows the real reason as to why I'm going, but none of the others do."

I sighed. Two weeks away from Carlisle would drive me insane, but I knew that it made sense what he was saying and what was happening. I completely understood why we had to wait two weeks to see each other again in Toronto, but that didn't make me any happier.

"Alright." I said quietly. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too." He said. "But it will be much better once we're both here, just think about that to get you through the two weeks…I know I will be."

I smiled. "Two weeks."

"Two weeks." He confirmed. "Oh and Bella?"

"Yes?" I said.

"I love you."

My breath caught in my throat and my heart fluttered. This was the first time he had told me that he loved me.

"I love you too." I whispered.

"Two weeks." He said with a sigh.

"Two weeks." I said.

"Have a good night, Bella." He said.

"Good night, Carlisle." I said before ending the call.

I flopped onto my bed, smiling. Carlisle had told me that he loved me. It made my heart flutter to think about him on its own, now that he had said those three little words, my heart was sent racing at just the thought of him. I sighed quietly, thinking about the next two weeks ahead of me.

In those two weeks, I wanted to clear everything up with Alice. I wanted everything to be good with us before I left. I would also have to tell Jacob what was happening…I was trying to put that off for as long as possible. Him and I had a strained relationship as it is, what would he do when he found out I was leaving? Probably forever.

I knew that I would probably never be able to return to Forks. If I came back, how would I explain everything? As long as no one from Forks saw me over the next nine months…except for Alice that is, then I'd be fine. But how could I honestly just drop everything immediately and go? I knew that it was necessary, but was I strong enough to drop everything immediately?

I fell asleep easily, which was surprising seeing as my mind was so full of shit about my life. When I woke up I just wanted to go back to sleep. I closed my eyes and pulled my blanket back up over my head, not wanting to go throw up into the toilet yet…which was sure to happen soon.

I sighed quietly, and felt my phone vibrate. My stomach lurched and my eyes flew open. I hadn't gotten a text from this person in days; I had hoped that they would stop.

**Going somewhere, Bella? Not before you say bye to Jake and make everything right with Alice!**

What in the actual fuck?

Well, at least now I knew that I needed to clear everything up with Jacob and Alice…but how was I going to do that?

"Shit." I whispered.

I only had two weeks to say goodbye to everyone and make things right with Alice. I needed her to know that I was completely sorry about everything that happened between us, and that I just wanted her to forgive me.

I mean, how could my baby grow up without its amazing big sister Alice?

I sighed quietly. I was sure that Jake would be the easier person to deal with. Alice would be much more difficult to try and talk to.

I sent a text to Jake, asking if I could come over, and his reply came almost instantly, telling me to come right over. I hopped off my bed, and went downstairs and out the front door. Charlie was dozing on the couch, so I didn't bother waking him just to tell him that I was going out. He would probably just end up getting irritated with me…well, only for a little bit, until he found out where I was going and who I was going to be seeing.

I got into the car that Carlisle had got for me, and carefully drove to Jake's house. I _still_ wasn't used to this car, and I doubted that I ever would get used to it.

I pulled into Jake's driveway, slightly nervous. I never knew what would happen when I came for a visit to Jake's. I was never sure what state of mind I would leave in…whether I'd be pissed or confused or happy, it was always a mystery. Every single time I came here, something happened. I pushed the memories of my last few visits out of my head.

_You are saying goodbye to him, knowing Jake he'll just get mad again, nothing else can happen between you. You almost fucked him last time you were here._

I sat in the car for a few moments, staring at the house. I doubted Billy was home, and I was pretty sure that Jake would think that I had come over to fuck him or something. I sighed and pulled my hood up over my head and got out of my car. I jogged to Jake's front door and knocked.

And I waited.

And waited.

And then, waited some more.

I banged on his door again and waited another two minutes before he opened it.

"What took you so long?" I asked in annoyance before stepping into his house. "It's pouring rain!"

"Sorry Bells, I didn't hear you knock." He said. "I was in the shower." He motioned to his dripping wet hair.

"It's fine." I said, taking my hood off, and going into his living room.

"So what do I owe this visit to?" he asked. "Decided to give me another shot?" he said that last part with a cocky smile.

"No." I said. "Not at all." I took a deep breath before continuing. "Jake, I'm leaving."

His expression changed instantly from joking around to dead serious.

"Leaving?" he asked. "Leaving to where?"

"Toronto." I said. "There's a university there that wants me. They've offered me a full scholarship, I don't really have to pay for anything, and they're practically guaranteeing me a job if I go. Isn't that amazing?"

"But, Toronto?" he asked. "That's pretty far away."

"I know, but this is my future, Jake." I said. "I've already said yes…I just came over to tell you."

"When do you go?" he asked, sitting down.

"In two weeks." I said.

"Two weeks?" he demanded. "You're leaving Forks in two fucking weeks? Why didn't you tell me before now? What the fuck, Bella?"

"Jake, can you calm down?" I asked. "I just found out last night. They contacted me last night to tell me that I had been accepted. I only asked Charlie last night after they contacted me. You know that I'll keep in contact, but I have to take this. It's my future. We can Skype as often as you want."

He sighed, I knew that he was upset with this, but I didn't care. He could be as upset with me as he wanted, it wouldn't change the fact that I was still going. I had to go to be with Carlisle to raise our baby together. Our baby was more important than just having Jake upset with me over not telling him that I was leaving sooner.

He pulled me into his arms in a hug. "I'm gonna miss you, Bells."

"I'm gonna miss you too, Jake." I said softly. "I'm gonna miss pretty much everyone here, but it's a sacrifice I'm definitely willing to make."

"Will you ever come back?" he asked.

"I hope to." I said truthfully. "But I don't know how busy I'm going to be with school and stuff."

"Come visit me again before you leave?" he asked.

"Of course." I said. "Of course I'll come visit you, Jake. How could I not?"

He smiled. "I had to make sure."

After that, our conversation turned light. After a while I left, and decided to go to the Cullen house. The sooner I went to talk to Alice the better. I had to make things right with her, and I wanted it to happen before I left. Well, I needed it to happen before I left, but that's beside the point. I wanted to make things better with her so that I could spend a lot of time with her before I went to Toronto. I was pretty much abandoning everybody, so I wanted to spend time with all the people I loved for as much time as I could. I sighed as I pulled into the long winding driveway. I knew that this would be difficult to do, and I doubted that Alice would be cooperative with me. I had to sit her down and talk to her.

As I got to the end of the driveway, I got out of my car. The garage was closed, so I wasn't going to even bother trying to cut through there and into the house. I took a deep breath and went to the front door. I had to think long and hard before knocking. I didn't know if Alice would see that it was me and just slam the door in my face, or if she would actually let me in to talk to her.

I had to make everything right with her before it was too late. I couldn't leave Forks without knowing whether or not she hated me. Even if she did hate me, at least I knew that I had tried. That's really all that counted, right?

I knocked on the door and waited. While I waited, I bit my lip in anticipation.

A few moments later, Alice opened the door. She glared at me once before going to slam the door, but I stuck my foot in the doorway, to stop it from slamming shut.

"He isn't here." she said, not opening the door any more. "He went to work to finish off some final paperwork before he leaves the country…for _you_. I'd check the hospital if I were you." I ignored the venom in her voice and tried to talk to her.

"I'm not here for him." I said. "I'm here to talk to you, Ali. Please, I can't do this anymore. Can we please talk?"

It took her a few moments to say anything to me. I stood there, with my foot in the door, waiting for her to answer me. I needed to talk to her. I couldn't go on with this.

"What?" she demanded, still not opening the door. I would've preferred to actually go inside and sit her down and talk to her, but this would have to do.

"Alice, I'm so sorry for what happened." I said. "I was an idiot, and didn't tell you the whole story…I realize now that you would've just played along with it for me if I had told you, but I was afraid that the person would know…I was afraid that they wouldn't think what I had done was good enough…which it ended up not being good enough anyway. And that picture of Jacob and I? That was nothing…him and I…we aren't together. That was just…I don't even know, it was in the heat of the moment, and it was fucking stupid of me. Can you please forgive me Ali? I don't want my baby growing up without you."

I heard her sigh, but she cracked open the door a teeny bit and she peeked out at me.

"There's nothing go on between you and Jacob?" she asked.

"Nothing." I said. "We're only friends."

"Good…because if you hurt my dad like that…I don't think I could ever forgive you, Bella."

"Alice, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I did that to him." I said. "Can we please be friends again? Please?"

She opened the door all the way. "I forgive you."

I grinned and hugged her. "Thank you Ali, thank you so much."

"You can come in if you want." She said, moving out of the way. I stepped into the house, and looked at her. She was wearing a baggy gym shirt from school, pyjama pants, and not a touch of make-up on her face. She looked really tired and not like the usual glamorous Alice.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah…why do you ask?" she responded, and gave me a look that told me not to ask any more questions about it. She wanted me to let it go. "I just woke up."

"No reason." I said. There was something deeper than just the fact that she had just woken up, which I knew was a lie. Alice never slept after noon. And it was two o'clock in the afternoon. No matter how late Alice would have stayed up the night before, she would never sleep past noon.

"Do you want anything to eat?" she asked, making her way into the kitchen as I followed behind her.

"No thanks." I said.

She turned. "Are you sure? Have you eaten today?"

I hesitated. Had I eaten today?

"Bells, you haven't eaten?" she asked. "That's not good for you or the baby. Sit."

I sat down at the kitchen table. How had I forgotten to eat today? I guess it had been because I was so preoccupied with leaving the house to fix things with Jacob and Alice that it slipped my mind. I was pretty upset with myself that I hadn't eaten anything, even more upset that it hadn't registered in my brain that I was hungry.

"So what's been going on with you?" I asked Alice.

"Nothing really." She said with a shrug. "Been helping my dad pack up his stuff…are you all packed and ready to go?"

I bit my lip. "Not really." I hadn't started anything at all to go. Hadn't even gone through the stuff that I wanted to get rid of or keep and bring with me.

"Not really means that you haven't done anything at all, right?" she said with a smile, turning back to look at me again. "Don't worry, I'll help you pack."

"Thanks." I said.

After that, we gossiped. It was so nice talking to her again…I didn't ever want to have a fight this serious with her again. I knew how bad it would be for both of us to have to go through that again.

But, there was something that was still bothering me. The fact that she had told me she had just woken up, when I obviously knew her better than that. I would have to watch her more closely from now on to make sure that she actually was okay; I mean maybe I was just being paranoid, but I highly doubted it. I knew that she wasn't okay, and I wanted to know why. Had something happened between her and Jasper again? Was it because she had lost her baby? Or simply just because we hadn't been talking?

Okay, I doubted it was that last one, but it was making me feel better thinking that it was just that and nothing more.

As I went out to my car, after saying bye to Alice, Carlisle was pulling into the driveway. My heart seemed to skip a few beats as I saw his car pulling up. This would be the last time I saw him for two weeks…I had to make it count.


	26. Chapter 26: Goodbye

**Chapter 26: Goodbye**

I walked over to his car, and opened his door for him. He looked up, and smiled at me. I slid into the car, sitting on top of him, and straddling his waist. I closed the car door behind me, and looked down at him. He started kissing my neck and running his hands up and down my back.

I tore at his shirt, determined to get it off. He moved the seat back to give us more room. And I ground myself into his growing erection.

"Bella, wait." He said.

"Hmmm?" I asked still tugging at his shirt.

"We aren't exactly hidden." He said. "I wouldn't want anyone to see."

I knew where he was coming from. I wouldn't want Edward to see us being intimate with each other…and I definitely didn't want whoever was texting me to see us.

"Where do you want to go?" I asked.

He shrugged his shoulders. I slid off of him and into the passenger seat. "I don't want to waste tonight."

He caressed my face. "I don't want to either, but we might not have much of a choice, Bella."

I sighed. "Two weeks."

"Two weeks." He said, exhaling heavily.

I paused. "How are you getting to the airport? Aren't you leaving tonight?"

"I was going to call a cab." He said.

"No need." I said with a smile. "I can drive you."

He chuckled. "My belongings have already been shipped, I just have to go inside and say goodbye and get my carry-on. I'll meet you in your car? I won't be long."

I got out of his car and went into mine. I watched him walk up the driveway and up the porch stairs and into the house. God, he was gorgeous. About ten minutes later, Carlisle emerged from the house. He came over to my car and slid in the passenger seat. It wasn't a very long drive to the airport, but I relished every second of it. I would miss him so much for the next two weeks. We pulled into the parking lot of the airport, and I looked at him sadly.

"I know." He whispered, caressing my face. I undid my seatbelt, and leaned closer to him. He held me, and we said nothing. It was such a serene moment between the two of us where we just needed each other. I needed to be held by him, I needed this moment with him more than anything right now.

Though I had planned to fuck him before he left, but oddly enough, this was perfectly fine; I was perfectly fine being able to just sit here with him, without getting naked.

"What time does your plane take off?" I asked.

"In about three hours." He said. "But I should go in, they want me there earlier."

I sighed. "Alright."

He kissed me with enough force to drown me. I kissed him back, not wanting to let go of him. I wished that I could go with him, but I knew that that wasn't possible.

We broke apart, and I looked into his eyes.

"Be careful, Bella." He said softly.

I nodded. "I will be."

"Bye Bella."

I took a deep breath. "Bye Carlisle…I love you."

"I love you too." He whispered, pressing his lips against mine again.

He touched my stomach softly, and looked down at it. "You take care of her while I'm gone." he said quietly. He kissed me once more before exiting the car, and going into the airport.

Two weeks wasn't too long, I would keep myself busy by packing my things and spending time with Alice, Jacob and my dad. Tears stung at my eyes as I saw him walking away, but I blinked them away, and drove home from the airport.

I pulled into my driveway and went upstairs. Charlie was already asleep, so I crawled into bed and fell asleep.

The next day, Alice knocked on my door at nine o'clock as I was munching on some cereal.

"Time to start packing!" she said excitedly. I groaned. I had been dreading this, and had wanted to put it off for as long as I could…but obviously Alice was having none of it. But, I'd rather have it done way before I was going, than two days before and having to rush through it. But it was super nice to be able to spend the whole day with Alice after we hadn't spoken to each other in weeks. We made a mess in my kitchen making pasta and red sauce, and for dinner Charlie decided to leave the house, and let has order whatever we wanted-as long as we didn't make as big a mess as we had with lunch. We ordered Chinese food and watched horror movies.

We decided that it would be easier for Ali to just sleep over, instead of going home and then coming back the next day to help me pack some more.

We had taken care of a lot of my things today; there were just a few more little things that needed to be packed up. I loved spending time with Alice, and that was one of things that I would miss most about living here. I would miss almost everyone here, but I knew that I would miss spending time with Alice the most. I could always call my dad but calling Alice just wasn't the same as seeing her in the flesh.

I would miss Alice too much for words, and I wished that she could come with me and live with Carlisle and I, but I knew she wouldn't be able to. And I knew that she probably wouldn't want to either. I mean, would she really want to live with Carlisle and I, as well as living with our baby? No, she wouldn't. I looked at her throwing some books into a box, and realized just how much I would truly miss her.

She looked up and saw me looking at her.

"What?" she asked.

"I'm gonna miss you." I said with a shrug.

She smiled. "I'm gonna miss you too, but this is what you have to do for your baby. It's really the only way to keep everything and everyone happy. As long as we Skype and you let me visit as often as I want, we'll be fine."

I grinned at her. We'd be fine. She would come visit us, and I would come visit Forks…just after I had the baby of course. Alice was right with what she was saying, though, we would be fine, and we would talk often. I would miss seeing her every day, but we would deal with it.

I couldn't believe that within two days we had packed everything except for what I would need for the next two weeks. Alice went home, and I looked around my room, feeling a strange sense of sadness wash over me. My room had _never _looked so empty in my life before. Even when I had moved back here, Charlie had put some pictures of him and me on the walls, had bought some CDs that he thought I would like, had put together a bookcase for me…had even bought a purple bed spread for me.

Now it was all empty. The bookcase was empty, the walls were bare, and my bed had a single blanket with one pillow on it. I had never expected to see _my _room like this, even when I had dreamed of moving far away from Forks, I had never pictured what my bedroom would look like after I was gone.

I stared around my room, looking over the boxes and only seeing how completely empty it looked. Maybe it was just the hormones getting to me, but I felt close to tears. I quickly sent a text message to Jacob, asking him if I could come over. Of course his answer came right away, and I raced out of my house and into my car. I drove to La Push, way over the speed limit, but I needed to see Jake. I didn't know what came over me that I so desperately wanted to see him…maybe seeing my room so bare made me realize how much I would actually miss Jake. I pulled into his driveway, and practically ran to his front door and knocked, waiting for him to answer.


	27. Chapter 27: Goodbyes

**Chapter 27: Goodbyes**

It took him a few moments to answer the door, but when he did, I barrelled into him. I felt close to tears just at seeing him. He wrapped his arms around me, and I tried not to let out the sobs that were threatening to escape me.

"What's wrong?" Jake asked softly.

I shook my head; I didn't trust my voice right now. I just needed to be held and comforted. The shock of realization had hit me that I was leaving everyone behind. It excited me and scared me all at the same time. But, it also made me unbelievably sad. I was leaving and lying about the reason as to why I was leaving. I knew that it was what had to be done, and it would be better for me, Carlisle and our baby but that didn't make it any easier.

I was just realizing how much I was going to miss everyone. Before it had been set in my mind; leave Forks or lose everything. But now I realized how much I would be losing by leaving Forks. I was leaving behind so much, and I was doing it all on a lie. I would be starting my life over again, in a new _country_. Not just a new state or a new city, I was starting off in a new country. Jake led me into his house, and took me to his bedroom. I was still sobbing and crying into his chest, but he knew to just let me bawl my eyes out until I was ready to talk.

When my sobs and tears came to an end, I looked up at Jake.

"Are you ready to talk about it?" he asked quietly.

I bit my lip. "I just sorta realized how much I'll be leaving behind when I go to Toronto…I didn't realize…I didn't realize how much I'd miss it here."

"Then don't go." He said. "Come on, Bells, stay here. There's a university here in Washington. Why do you need to go all the way to Toronto? I'm sure you could even get a scholarship and go to the one here for free. Stay in Washington, Bells. Please."

"Jake, it's more complicated than that." I said. "I'm literally being handed an opportunity and of course I'm gonna take it. This is my future we're talking about." I felt sick to my stomach lying to Jake like this. But, unfortunately, it was what had to be done. I had to make it clear to him that this was my only option.

"Stay here…if not for me then for Charlie." Jake said. "What's he gonna do without you, Bells?"

"He's perfectly fine with me going." I said quietly. "It just all hit me earlier today…seeing my room packed up and empty…it kinda scared me, Jake."

He hugged me closer to him. "It would be for anybody."

"I'll come visit as much as I can." I promised. "I'll try my hardest to visit when I can."

He chuckled. "I'll try to visit you too sometimes."

I smiled. "Just always let me know before you come."

"Of course." He said.

For the rest of the day, Jake and I just chilled together. I would miss spending time with Jake. Even though sometimes he was a little pushy trying to get us back together, he was a good friend, and I would genuinely miss him.

Later on I left and went back some to Charlie. He had already eaten dinner so I just made myself something small and took it upstairs with me. I went into my room and shut the door behind me.

A little while later, I fired up my laptop, and signed into Skype. My heart skipped a beat as I saw that Carlisle was online, and I immediately opened a conversation window with him.

**Can we video chat?** I asked.

Immediately he sent the request to start a call, and I accepted. I smiled at seeing his face appear on my screen, and his face lit up when he saw mine.

"Hey." I said.

"Hey." He said with a grin.

"How is it there?" I asked.

"I think you're really going to like it." he said. "I'm really liking it."

"Good." I said. "I miss you."

"I miss you too…but you'll be here before you know it."

I smiled, and was about to say something else, but a knock at my door made me jump.

"Hang on." I said to Carlisle. "Come in!"

I switched pages on my computer as Charlie walked into my room.

"Hey dad." I said. "What's up?"

He looked around my room, obviously looking at all the boxes and how empty it was.

"Well, I just figured I'd come in here and talk to you." He said.

I crossed my legs under myself. "About what?"

"Well, you're gonna be leaving the country in a little over a week, and I just wanna know that you're gonna be okay." He took a deep breath. "I'm gonna miss you, Bells."

"I'm gonna miss you too, dad." I said quietly, feeling tears sting behind my eyes.

"I know that you're probably going to be really busy, but promise you'll try and visit often?"

"I promise." I whispered.

"Here." he handed me an envelope. "I was saving this to help you out with college, but since you're getting it all for free, I figured I'd just give it to you to help you get settled."

I pushed his hand away. "No, dad, I can't take that. Keep it, save it for yourself, save it for retirement. I don't need it."

"Bells, it was for you anyway." He said. "I'll be fine. Just take it. I wanna help you out a bit. I won't take no for an answer." He put the envelope in my hand.

"Thanks dad." I said, standing up and giving him a hug.

"It's the least I could do, trust me."

"I'll visit as often as I can." I said. "I'll…I'll try to be back during the holidays."

"Don't jeopardize your schoolwork for me." He said. "I'll understand if you can't make it back. Don't worry."

"Thanks again dad." I said softly.

"You're welcome, Bells." He said, hugging me once more. "See you later." He left my room and shut the door behind him. I sat back down on my bed and re-opened the conversation window with Carlisle.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah." I said. "I'm fine."

"Bella, you can still back out of this if you want. I can move back to Forks, we'll make it work somehow. People just won't know who the father of the baby is. We can make something up." He said.

"No, it'll be better for me to just leave here." I said. "Less lies that way, it'll be easier for me and better for you. I couldn't do that to you; you'd only be able to see your child when I'd bring him or her over for a visit...it wouldn't be fair."

"I can see how upset you are…I can come back to see you if you want. I'll book a flight right now."

Though it was tempting, I couldn't let him do that.

I shook my head. "No, Carlisle, it's fine. I'll be fine." I smiled. "When we see each other in two weeks it'll be better."

"If you're sure." He said uncertainly.

"Positive." I said. "Carlisle, I'm gonna go…I'll talk to you later."

"If you need to talk, you know I'm just a phone call away." He said.

"I know." I said, smiling. "Bye Carlisle."

"Good night Bella." He said before I disconnected. I signed out and turned off my computer. I put my laptop on my desk and flopped back onto my bed. I crawled under the blankets and went to sleep, trying to push thoughts of leaving Forks out of my head.

**Two Weeks Later**

Charlie had driven me to the airport. I was currently sitting on the plane, waiting for takeoff. The past two weeks had been great. I had spent so much time with Alice and Jacob and Charlie. Also, I hadn't gotten any text messages from the random person who had been texting me. It had been sad for me to say goodbye to everyone, the worst goodbyes had been to Charlie and Jacob…Alice would come visit a lot, I knew that, but I was also super excited to be seeing Carlisle again.

I was practically bouncing up and down in my seat as I waited for takeoff. I couldn't wait to be near him again. A few days ago I had shipped most of my stuff over to him so it would be waiting there for me when I got there. All I had with me was my carry-on bag and my suitcase.

I looked around the plane, not seeing any familiar faces. I heaved a sigh of relief. Nobody would recognize either Carlisle or me when we saw each other again.

I was happy with that, until something caught my eye. I turned to see a couple, a few rows over, making out with each other. Normally this wouldn't make me look twice, but there was something about them that seemed familiar. The guy had blonde hair, and the girl had brown hair, but her back was to me. She had a smallish frame, but not much smaller than me.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the plane is about to take off. Please fasten your seatbelts and enjoy the ride. The skies are clear, and it's a beautiful day in Toronto. We'll let you know when it's safe for you to take off your seatbelts, though as always; it's much safer to keep them on for the duration of the flight. Thank you, and have a pleasant flight." The captain's voice came over the loudspeaker.

The couple broke apart from each other, and my head snapped away from them as I realized who it was. It was that fucking slut Jessica Stanley and Mike Newton.

Ugh. She was so gross. First she fucked Edward, then did god knows what with Jasper, and now she was fucking around with Mike. I almost wanted to warn him about her, but figured he'd find out on his own. Just the sight of her made my blood boil.

Why the fuck were they going to Toronto though?

Of all the places for them to go, why did they have to be going to the same place that I was going to? I closed my eyes and took deep breaths. I didn't need to stress over this. I pushed all thoughts of them out of my head. Instead, I thought about being reunited with Carlisle. I couldn't wait to actually _see _him in person. I was so excited to see him again, I couldn't believe it. He was picking me up from the airport, so I knew that I would see him as soon as I got off the plane…and honestly that was all that I could hope for. I couldn't wait to be in his arms again. I was literally itching to be near him again.

For the duration of the flight, I thought about how amazing it would be to be with him again. It completely made me forget about Mike and Jessica on the same plane as me.

As I felt the plane descend I felt my stomach get all tingly…nervousness and excitement at seeing Carlisle filled me.

When the plane was finished landing, I grabbed my carry-on bag and rushed off the plane. I bumped into a couple people, but I didn't care. I wanted to see him. I _needed _to see him as soon as I could. I practically ran into the airport, and my eyes searched for him. Finally, in the giant crowd of people, I saw him. I ran to him, and barrelled into him.


	28. Chapter 28: Reunited

**Chapter 28: Reunited**

His arms came around my waist and I felt whole again. I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. I had been waiting for this moment for two weeks…and I finally had it. He held me close to him, and I could tell that he had missed me just as much as I had missed him. I looked up at his face; it seemed almost surreal to finally be here with him…for two weeks I had thought about seeing him again.

"I need you." I whispered. He grasped my hand and led me through the airport. He led me into an empty woman's washroom and into a stall. He locked the door behind us and I immediately crashed my lips against his. It had been far too long since we had last kissed, and our tongues swirled around with one another. I pressed myself as close to him as I could humanly get, and I could feel that he was ready for me, just as I was all too ready for him. I had been waiting far too long for this moment, and it was finally here.

I reached down, and undid his pants, and stroked his hard cock. He moaned into my hair and slid my pants away from my hips, and pulled the thong-which I had worn just for his enjoyment-away from my body as well. He lifted me up, and pressed me against the wall of the stall, and effortlessly slid deep inside of me. We both moaned at the connection, and I buried my head in his neck to try and muffle the sounds coming out of me.

Carlisle moved to his own rhythm and I fought against screaming out in pleasure. I bucked my hips along with him, meeting his every thrust, intensifying both our pleasure. As if what he was doing wasn't enough, he pulled my shirt off over my head and pulled my bra down with his teeth, and taking one of my breasts into his mouth. That intensified my pleasure and drove me to the edge.

"Fuck, Carlisle." I moaned.

His tongue flicked over my now hardened nipple, and his finger circled around my clit, sending me into a frenzy of pleasure. He pushed me over the edge, and I came hard, feeling my walls tighten around him. I rode out my orgasm, feeling even _more_ pleasure when I felt Carlisle's seed inside of me.

I looked into his eyes, and kissed him passionately again. I had missed him so much these past two weeks it was unreal.

"You ready, love?" he asked once our mouths were apart.

I nodded, and we both got dressed again. I exited the stall first, making sure the coast was clear. I told Carlisle he was fine to come out, and I quickly fixed my hair, running my fingers through it. I opened the washroom door, seeing no one around, and pulled Carlisle out of the washroom with me.

We navigated our way through the airport down to the luggage carousel. Surprisingly there were still a few bags rotating around, and Carlisle saw mine and grabbed it right away. When I tried to take it from him, he waved my hand away. I rolled my eyes and smiled at him. It _still _felt so surreal to actually be here with him again. He led me out of the airport, and to his sleek black car. I slid into the passenger seat, as he slammed his trunk shut and got into the driver's seat. He expertly drove through the Toronto streets and I stared out the window. This city looked so much different than Forks, it was unreal.

I was used to green. Green everywhere. Forks was green. Toronto, on the other hand, actually had buildings on the streets, instead of forests. And, always a plus, it wasn't raining here.

I already liked it a lot.

"When we get home I'll give you a little checkup, okay?" Carlisle said.

"That's fine." I said.

"I borrowed the ultrasound equipment from the hospital." He said. "Since it's your first checkup I want to make sure you're as comfortable as possible."

I smiled. "Thank you Carlisle."

He took my hand it in his. "It's no problem at all."

He drove up to a fancy looking apartment building. He pulled into the underground parking lot and pulled into a spot. He led me through the parking lot and suddenly I doubled over in pain. I had a _bad _cramp in my abdomen. I huffed out a breath and held onto Carlisle for dear life.

"Breathe, Bella, breathe." He soothed.

"Is this normal?" I managed to ask, finding it slightly difficult to breathe.

"During pregnancy it's normal to have cramps." He said. "Have you felt different, though? Have you been able to keep food down?"

I nodded. "Except for morning sickness I've felt fine...and I've had a couple other cramps, not as bad as this one though."

I stood up straight again, the cramp was gone.

He looked at me worriedly. "We'll check you out when we get upstairs."

"Okay." I said. "But can we eat something first? I'm starving."

"Sure." He said, as we got into the elevator. My eyes almost popped right out of my head when I saw how nice the elevator was. Imagine the fanciest hotel you've ever been to, and multiply that by about three hundred, you'll see how fancy this apartment building is. The elevator traveled up to the top floor of the building-of course it was the penthouse. No less for Carlisle Cullen.

When the elevator doors opened he led me down the hallway and into an apartment. The apartment was _huge_ and spacious and glorious. It was furnished nicely, with super comfy looking chairs and couches.

"I'll make you something to eat." He said, disappearing into what must have been the kitchen. I stared around the apartment. It was absolutely amazing.

I went into the kitchen to see him stirring a pot of pasta and another pot with some red sauce. I wrapped my arms around his waist from behind and leaned against his back.

"I missed you." I said quietly.

I felt him chuckle. "I missed you too, Bella."

He turned away from the stove so he was facing me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I closed my eyes, feeling so happy with him.

"Go sit," he said softly. "Your dinner will be ready soon."

"But I don't want to let go." I said quietly

He chuckled. "I know the feeling, trust me."

I pecked him on the cheek, and sat down at the table. He finished off preparing my meal, and put it on the table in front of me.

"Thank you Carlisle." I said.

He smiled. "You're welcome." He went into the living room, and I heard him moving some things around; probably getting the ultrasound machinery in place while I ate the pasta. When I was done, I stood up and went into the living room. A machine was whirring, and Carlisle was standing beside it, pressing buttons, making sure everything worked right.

I went to go over to him, but a wave of nausea rolled over me, I clutched my mouth and ran to the bathroom, throwing up the pasta I had just eaten. I flushed the toilet and rinsed my mouth out with water from the sink. I left the bathroom and almost walked right into Carlisle.

"Are you okay, Bella?" he asked. "Was there something wrong with the pasta?"

"I don't know." I said honestly. "It tasted fine."

"Come on," he said. "Are you up to getting checked out?"

I nodded. "Carlisle…you don't think…do you think there might be something wrong with the baby?"

I looked up at his face, and I saw conflict pass through his eyes. I could tell he didn't want to tell me what he was thinking, hell, I was afraid of knowing what he was thinking.

"I…I'm not sure." He said.

Together, we walked back to the living room and he helped me onto the couch. He prepared me for the ultrasound. Both of us watched the little screen, and I saw his face change immediately. He moved the piece of equipment around my abdomen; searching. He adjusted something on the piece of machinery, and kept searching. Finally, he stopped searching and close his eyes…but I had a feeling I knew what was coming next, though he didn't say a word.

"What is it, Carlisle?" I had to ask.

He turned and looked at me, sadness crossing his face.

"Carlisle…tell me." I whispered.

He came over to me and pulled me into his arms.

"We've lost it, love."


	29. Chapter 29: Figured It Out

Chapter 29: Figured it Out

After I had taken a shower, I went into Carlisle and my bedroom in a daze, wearing sweatpants and a tank top. He was lying on the bed, waiting for me. He saw me, and held his arms out for me. I fell into his arms, fighting back the tears that threatened to surface. I couldn't believe I had actually lost our baby. I felt absolutely terrible. I could tell that Carlisle was upset about it, but was trying not to show it.

"Bella, I know you probably haven't thought about this, but I will understand if you want to go back to Forks." He said.

Actually, I had thought about this, but I had thought that Carlisle would be the one who would want to go back to Forks.

"I…I thought that _you_ would want to go back to Forks." I whispered.

He looked at me, eyebrows raised in surprise. "My job here is better than the one in Forks. I wouldn't give it up…and…well I was hoping that you would want to stay here, too…with me."

I smiled. "Carlisle, I hate Forks. And here…we can go out in public together…without being afraid of anyone seeing us."

He smiled at me. "You actually want to stay here with me?"

"Yeah." I said with a smile. "Plus, I don't want to have to move _again_ and I don't want to have to lie even more about why I'm back there. It'd just be a big mess."

He pressed his lips softly against mine. "I'm really glad to hear that."

I snuggled close to him. If the circumstances were different, I would be in a complete cloud of bliss just lying here with Carlisle. I sighed quietly.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Carlisle asked.

I nodded. "I'm okay. It's obviously horrible, but, things like this happen, and life goes on."

He held me tight against him. "I was excited."

"I was too." I said quietly.

"It would have been nice to actually _be_ a father to a child, instead of an adoptive father, but as you said, life goes on. We'll be okay."

I hadn't realized how excited Carlisle was for the baby. I had thought that this was more of a necessity to him because of the consequences of our actions. I hadn't realized that he actually _wanted _to be a father to our baby.

He cursed under his breath. "That just made you feel worse, didn't it?"

I shook my head. "Not at all." I said honestly. "Maybe, one day, when we're actually ready we could try to have a kid again…instead of by mistake."

"Don't think of it as a mistake." He said softly. "It was a blessing."

He was right. The pregnancy had been a blessing…I wouldn't think of it as a mistake ever again. What had happened to us had happened for a reason, and it was time to think of it as a blessing.

My carry-on bag was still on the floor in our bedroom. I hadn't touched it since I had brought it in here. I heard a quiet "ding" from inside of it. My brow furrowed. Who the hell would be texting me? Alice had said she wouldn't text me because it would cost me too much money.

"I'll get it for you." Carlisle said.

He slid out of the bed, and my stomach lurched.

"What?" he asked, turning to look at me.

"Just don't touch it." I said, getting out of bed, and going over to my bag.

"Bella, is there something you need to tell me?" he asked, looking down into my eyes. "What's going on?"

"Nothing." I said. "It's just that…that might be…private. It could be Alice."

I rooted through my bag, until I found my phone and I pulled it out. I didn't want to lie to him, but I had to do what had to be done. Until I could find a way or appropriate time to tell him, I couldn't tell him about the texts again. I didn't know why I was so afraid to tell him…I didn't want him to get angry with me…not now.

"Yup, it's Alice." I lied, feeling horrible about it. "Just wondering how my flight was."

"What are you keeping from me?" he asked. "Bella, you know you can tell me…is it…it's not that person again, is it?"

I hesitated and took a deep breath. "Please don't get mad." I whispered. "Please, Carlisle, when I tell you this, don't get mad at me."

He cupped my face in his hand. "I won't."

I took a deep breath. "Over the last little while…I've been getting the texts again. I was so afraid to tell you…I…I thought you would leave me again. I didn't want to lose you again."

"What have they been saying to you?" he asked quietly.

"They've just been doing a lot of the same; they threatened to tell everyone about us if I didn't do what they asked…it almost ruined Alice and my friendship."

"Were they the ones who just texted you?"

I nodded. And then I froze. I hadn't even read the text, but I knew who it was. It was so obvious, how had I not figured it out before? How had I not realized who it was? It was so simple!

"Carlisle," I said urgently. "Carlisle, do you care if people from Forks know about us?"

"What?" he asked, surprised by the urgency in my voice.

"Carlisle, I'm serious. I know who it is. Or at least, I think I do, but do you care anymore if they know back in Forks?"

He hesitated. "No." he finally said. "No, I don't care. But do you…? Your father…"

"Will just have to deal with it." I said. "I'll explain it to him, somehow…if it gets out. I have to go."

"What?" he asked as I pulled on my sweater and a jacket.

"Carlisle, I have to go confront them. I know who it is!"

"Bella, you shouldn't be alone." He said. "Not after what happened today and you shouldn't be alone going to see this person. They could be dangerous."

"I'm not afraid, Carlisle." I said. "I'll be perfectly fine. I need to get my mind off things anyway."

He took a deep breath. "Where are you going to go?"

I hesitated. I hadn't thought this through yet. Where _was _I going to go?

"Hotels near the airport." I decided. "There can't be_ too_ many, and they'd obviously want to stay close to the airport."

He sighed. "Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" he asked. "You know I can if you want me there."

"No," I said. "I think I should do this on my own."

I put on my shoes, and he handed me his car keys.

"Thank you." I said. I was about to leave, when I was pulled into Carlisle's arms.

"Be careful." He said.

I smiled up at him. "I will be."

He pressed his lips against mine, before I rushed out of the apartment. I couldn't believe I had actually figured out who had been texting me. Adrenaline pumped through my veins as I got into Carlisle's car and I sped off. I drove to where the airport was and pulled into a hotel parking lot. I got out of the car and went into the lobby. I went to the front desk, quickly stringing together a story as to why I had to get their information.

It took me three different hotels to finally get to the one I needed.

I went to the front desk and lied my way to see if I could find out if they were here.

"Hi, I'm a friend of Jessica Stanley, I just arrived in the city and I'm not sure if this is the hotel she's staying at. I'm staying with her for a few nights, but she didn't tell me what hotel she's at, or which room she's in. Can you tell me know which room she's in and if she's here?"

"I'm sorry; Miss Stanley has requested that we do not disclose any information about her room."

"But, I'm staying here with her." I said.

"That would be for her to tell you, not us. We can't tell you anything. I'm very sorry."

I heard someone call from a back room and the woman who had been helping me held up one finger and disappeared into the back room.

I looked around; there was literally _no one_ around. Quickly, I slipped around behind the desk, and saw that the entire database of the hotel was on the computer screen. I typed in "Jessica Stanley" and immediately her name came up with her hotel room. I grabbed a pen and wrote it on my hand before erasing her name from the database search and slipping back in front of the desk. I pulled out my phone and put it against my ear, pretending to talk as the front desk clerk came back from the back room.

"Okay, thanks Jess. I'll be right up." I said, before taking my phone away from my ear and pretending to end the call.

"I got her room number, thank you for your help." I said.

"You're welcome." She said, smiling at me.

I practically ran to the elevator and pressed the call button numerous times, as if that would make it come any sooner. When the doors finally opened I rushed into it and pressed the button for the fourth floor. The elevator quickly ascended to the fourth floor, and when the doors open, I raced down the hallway to their door.

I knocked on it and waited.

"Who is it?" called Jessica's voice.

"Room service." I said.

She opened the door and jumped when she saw me. She tried to close the door, but I stuck my foot in between the frame and the door right before she could slam it shut.

"Can I talk to you?" I asked in a way that she'd know it wasn't a question.

"Why?" she asked.

"You know _exactly _why." I said.

"So talk." She said.

"I know it's been you." I said. "I figured it out."

"And what are you going to do about it?" she asked with a smirk. I hesitated so she continued. "I have more shit on you than you could ever have on me. What makes you think I'm afraid of you?"

"I don't care if Forks finds out about us anymore." I said. "We've left Forks now. What do I care? I don't give a shit if they know, and neither does Carlisle."

Now she hesitated. Now she knew that I didn't care about what she had against me.

I turned to leave, but paused.

"Can I just ask you something?" I asked.

She looked angry but didn't say anything.

"Why did you do it?" I asked.

"I was jealous." She said, before slamming the door in my face.

Jessica was jealous of _me_? I slowly walked back to Carlisle's car. What the hell would she be jealous of?

I shrugged. I didn't want to think about her anymore. _Finally _she was off my back and now, I could begin my life with Carlisle in peace.


	30. Chapter 30: Arguements

Chapter 30: Arguments

Within minutes my phone was going crazy with messages. I knew that half of them were probably Alice…I was afraid to know who the other half were from. My phone was in my purse on the seat beside me. I gripped the steering wheel, fighting against the urge to check my phone right then and there.

After another minute of constant buzzing, I pulled over. I pulled my phone out of my purse, and looked at who the messages were from.

There were over a hundred messages. Majority of which were from Alice; some were from Jacob…and then some were from just random people in Forks.

Most of the ones from Alice were pretty much just "**What the fuck, Bella?**", the ones from Jacob were mostly "**How could you?**", "**How could he?**", "**I'll kill him, Bella.**" And most of the other random ones were just "**Is it true?**"

I sighed and didn't reply to any except for Alice's. I told her that I'd call her when I'd get home.

As I began driving back to the apartment again, I thought about Jacob. And then…I thought about Charlie. Oh god, what would Charlie think? I stopped at a red light, and leaned back against my seat, breathing heavily. Charlie would want Carlisle's head on a platter. Why hadn't I thought about this?

When I got back to the apartment, I went inside, stomach a knot full of nervousness. I hadn't even thought of what this would do to Charlie, and I didn't even know what Jessica had told people. In the elevator, I held my head in my hands. In a way I was kind of glad I had confronted her about it, and that she was off my back, and honestly I wasn't that upset about the people in Forks finding out, I was only really upset about Charlie finding out. _Hopefully _he wouldn't be _too_ angry about it, but that definitely wasn't likely.

As I walked into the apartment, Carlisle looked at me.

"I hope you haven't been trying to call me…I had to turn my phone off." He said. He wasn't angry, I could tell.

"I haven't." I said quietly.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" he asked.

I nodded. "It would've happened sooner or later. It's just…what's bothering me is Charlie."

Carlisle nodded. "I figured that he would be the main issue for you."

"It's okay." I said. "We'll work our way through this. Charlie will just have to deal with it."

"Bella, he may try and arrest me, you realize this, right?"

"I won't let him, Carlisle." I said. "I will fight with him on this. I'll explain it all to him."

He came over and caressed my face.

"You shouldn't jeopardize your relationship with your father over me." He said.

"No," I said. "It's the other way around. If my dad can't support my choice, that's his problem, not mine. Obviously I don't want my dad to hate me, but this is my choice and not his…it's my life, and you're going to be a part of it, whether he likes it or not."

"What are you going to tell him, Bella?" Carlisle asked.

I hesitated. "I…I…well, I don't know how much Jessica will tell the town. Or the rumours Charlie might hear…I should probably call him, shouldn't I?"

"Only if you think it's the right time." He said. "We don't want him barging down here and breaking down the door."

I sighed. "I'll go into the bedroom to do this."

Carlisle nodded and kissed the top of my head. "Call if you need anything."

I nodded and went into Carlisle and my bedroom, carefully avoiding looking into what would have been the baby's room.

I took a deep breath before picking up the phone, but it wasn't Charlie's number I dialed. I needed to talk to Alice first.

It took her a couple rings to pick up.

"Bella?" she asked.

"Hey Ali."

"What the fuck happened?" she asked.

I told her everything that had happened today. I told her about me getting the text, and then remembering seeing Jessica and Mike on the plane here, and I figured out that it had been Jessica.

"But why did she tell everyone?" she asked. "She knew that you knew, why would she do that?"

"I don't know." I said honestly.

"Have you talked to Charlie yet?" she asked.

"Not yet." I said. "I wanted to call you first…what should I say to him?"

"I honestly don't know, Bella. I don't even know if he knows yet."

"He probably does." I said, biting my lip. "Ugh this is so fucked up."

"Just call him and explain. Even if he doesn't already know, it'll be better to hear it from you than Jessica."

"I guess that's right." I said with a sigh. "I still don't want to call him…I'm nervous."

"You'll be fine." She soothed. "Just relax, and call me if you need to when you're done."

"Thanks Ali." I said.

"Oh by the way, how's the baby?" she asked.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before answering her. "I miscarried."

"Oh my god, Bella, I'm so sorry."

"Thank you Ali." I said. "It's okay, though, I'll be fine."

"If you need _anything _don't hesitate to call. I'm always here for you."

"I know, thank you Alice."

"Bye Bella."

"Bye." I said, before hanging up.

I stared at the phone for a long time before picking it up again and dialing Charlie's number. I couldn't help but hope that he was out fishing with Billy, or even working right now.

"Hello?" he asked gruffly into the phone.

"Hi Dad." I said.

"Oh, so you've remembered I existed, have you?" he said. Oh shit, he was pissed. "What happened to calling me when you landed?"

"Sorry, I forgot I was-"

"Busy with Carlisle?" he asked, cutting me off.

Fuck.

"So you found out." I said.

"How long has this been going on?" he demanded. "Bella, I want him arrested. I'm ready to fly out there right now to arrest him."

"Dad, stop." I said. "I didn't want you to find out the way you did. Honestly, I would've rather told you myself."

"How long?" he asked again.

"That doesn't matter." I snapped. "Our relationship has entirely been _my _choice, not his. He _never _forced himself on me. It was completely my choice, he only agreed."

"I'll kill him, Isabella." He said angrily. "He should be arrested!"

"Why?" I demanded, feeling the anger boil up inside of me. "I'm eighteen. I'm of age. He's doing nothing wrong."

"Obviously you and him were together before you turned eighteen." He snapped.

I didn't say anything because he was right. Carlisle and I were together before I turned eighteen.

"Is he the reason you moved there?" he asked. "Was there even the scholarship offered to you, or was that just another lie?"

"Yes. He is the reason I moved here." I said. "I moved here so I could protect our relationship. To protect us."

"Isabella Marie Swan you come home right now. Pack your things and come back to Forks." He said.

"No."

"Excuse me? I'm your father and-"

"And you're no longer legally responsible for me." I spat. "I'm eighteen and live in another country."

"I don't support this decision. At all." He said.

"Then that's your choice." I said. "I don't want you hating me. You _are _my father, but if you can't respect who I'm with, and who I plan to stay with, then I guess that's your loss. I'm not going to give up the best thing I've ever had just because you aren't happy with me."

"I don't care if he makes you happy." He said. "It's wrong, Isabella."

"Goodbye, Charlie." I said.

"Don't you hang up on me-"

I cut him off by ending the call.

No, I didn't want him to hate me, and hopefully sooner or later he would come around and learn to accept it. He was angry right now, and knowing Charlie he would simmer down within a few days and maybe be a bit more open to the idea of it.

Carlisle knocked on the bedroom door.

"Come in." I said, as he opened it.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly.

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine."

He wrapped his arms around me. "Everything will be fine."

I looked up at him. "I know."

The shrill ringing of the phone made me jump.

"I'll get it." Carlisle said. "Hello?" he said into the receiver.

His expression immediately changed, and I knew it was Charlie on the other end.

"Chief Swan, please allow me to talk." He said. "I understand, as a father myself, why you are reacting this way. If my daughter were in the same position I don't know how I would react. But, I can see how happy my relationship with your daughter makes her. This was, and you may find it hard to believe, her decision. She approached me and it just erupted from there. I'm so very sorry that you found out the way you did, but that's just how it happened. I'm sure it would have been much better for all of us if you had heard it straight from either myself or Bella."

Carlisle was quiet as he listened to whatever Charlie was saying. He glanced up at me and shook his head. That was a bad sign, Charlie was still pissed.

I held out my hand for the phone, and Carlisle handed it to me.

"-you think that it's _okay _to violate my daughter this way just because you apologized you are out of your god damn mind-"

"Dad." I said, cutting him off. "Stop it. Don't call back here until you've calmed down. If you call back at all today, or even tomorrow we won't answer. Goodbye." I hung up on him.

"He's very angry." Carlisle said. "He threatened to come down here and wring my neck."

"He'll come around." I said. "Hopefully."

He wrapped his arms around me again. "I love you…so much."

"I love you too." I whispered.

"We'll work our way through this." He said. "Somehow."

"We'll make it work." I said. I jumped when I felt my cell phone vibrating, and I pulled it out of my pocket. Jake was calling me. I contemplated whether or not I should answer it.

"I'll leave you alone to answer that." Carlisle said, detaching himself from me and leaving the bedroom.

I took a deep breath before answering the phone. "Hello?"

"Where the fuck is he, Bella?" Jake growled. "I'll fucking kill him."

"No you will not." I said.

"Do you know how hard it is for me not to order a plane ticket up there right now?" he demanded.

"Well maybe you and Charlie can fly up together." I said sarcastically. "Maybe you can get a two for one deal."

"This isn't a fucking joke, Bella." He said. "How long has this been going on between you and him?"

"That's none of your business!" I snapped.

"How are you okay with him doing this to you?" he demanded.

"Because he didn't do anything to me!" I yelled. "This relationship was _my _choice. I approached him. _He _was reluctant, but _I _convinced him."

"Why?" he asked.

"What do you mean why?" I asked. "Why do you try to fuck me every fucking chance you get? Maybe then you'll figure out why I started this with him."

"He's so much older than you Bella." He said. "You weren't happy with Edward? You wouldn't have been happy with me? Someone your own age?"

"Obviously not." I said, before hanging up.

I was so angry. I hated that everyone was invading my privacy like this. I turned off my phone and threw it into my purse. I wouldn't deal with that. I wanted to shut myself off from the world outside Carlisle and my little world. Maybe then I could actually relax.


	31. Chapter 31: Emergency

Chapter 31: Emergency

Lying in bed with Carlisle always made me feel better. Whether we were having sex, or just lying together, wrapped in each other's arms, it was like an instant medicine. I was so thankful to have him in my life, it was unbelievable.

It was shocking, thinking about how far we had come. Less than a year ago, I was scared to even look him directly in the eye because I was so flustered around him, and in that time we had actually had a relationship. It was almost making me dizzy thinking about it.

"What are you thinking about?" Carlisle asked softly.

"Nothing really." I said. "Just about us."

He chuckled, but then sobered. "Bella, are you sure you're okay with the current situation between you and your father?"

I reached up and caressed Carlisle's face. "Carlisle, I'm sure in a few days he'll calm down. Until then I'm just not going to talk to him."

"Bella, he's your father." Carlisle said.

I looked into his eyes. "Are you pushing me away?"

"No! Not at all!" he said. "I just want you to be sure that you're making the right choice here…I don't want you to feel obligated to choose me over your own father."

I felt anger boil up in my stomach. "Are you taking his side on this? You seem to want me to go back to Forks and live with him again…is that what you want?"

"Bella, where is all this coming from?" he asked softly. "Your mind is in a fragile state right now, a lot has happened in the past couple days. I just want to be sure that you won't regret your decision."

I detached myself from him, and slid out of the bed. "You seem like you want me to change my mind. I'm going to go sleep on the couch."

"No, Bella, don't." he said, getting out of the bed as well.

I felt close to tears, and I wanted to burst into tears and sob, and cry my eyes out, and I didn't even know why.

"I just…I want to be alone, please Carlisle." I whispered.

"I'll sleep on the couch." He said.

"No," I said. "You sleep in here, don't…don't worry."

I saw conflict pass through his face, but he obliged. "Let me know if you need anything."

I nodded. "I will."

He pulled me close to him and pressed his lips against my forehead.

"I love you, Bella." He said softly as I turned away from him. He said it so softly that I really wasn't sure if he had meant for me to hear it or not.

"I love you too." I whispered, before leaving the bedroom.

I made my way into the living room, and grabbed a blanket off the chair. I slid onto the couch, and pulled the blanket up to my neck.

What was wrong with me? I felt awful and I felt tears well up in my eyes. I didn't like sleeping alone, especially not when I knew that Carlisle was in the next room.

For the entire not I tossed and turned, unable to catch sleep.

When I "woke up" it was nine o'clock. I must have fallen asleep at some point because I hadn't heard Carlisle get up and leave for work. For a moment, I selfishly wished that he was here. I didn't want to be alone. And I wanted to talk to him…I wanted to apologize. I wanted to make everything right again between us.

I wanted to be in his arms again, I didn't want to be fighting with him. I sat up on the couch and clutched the blankets close around my shoulders. Less than five minutes later the door to the apartment opened, and Carlisle emerged, carrying grocery bags.

He looked at me wearily, obviously unsure of what to say, just as I was.

I cleared my throat nervously. "I thought you had to gone to work."

"I don't go back until next week…I requested some extra time off to stay with you." He said.

I couldn't decipher what he was thinking through his tone. Normally I could tell from the tone of his voice how he was feeling but not this time, he was masking it well.

"Carlisle," I whispered. "Carlisle I'm so sorry about last night…I don't even know why I was mad…or why I got mad. I'm so sorry."

He came over to the couch and sat beside me, wrapping his arms around me. "Don't be sorry, Bella. Your mind is having a hard time processing what's been happening over the course of the past coupled days."

I leaned against him, feeling happy in his arms again.

He caressed my face. "You look so tired."

I looked up at him. "So do you."

"I guess neither of us got much sleep last night." he said.

"For two weeks without you I didn't get much sleep." I said.

He chuckled. "I know the feeling. That bed was very empty without you in it."

I smiled and snuggled closer to him.

"Are you hungry?" he asked softly.

I nodded. "But I don't want to move."

He held me tighter against him. "I don't want to either."

A little while later we got up and put the groceries away, and made some food. For the rest of the day we just hung out together, it was nice.

At around seven o'clock my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and saw that it was Jacob. I ignored it; I didn't wanna be harassed anymore. When the calling persisted, Carlisle looked wearily down at my phone.

"I think you should answer that." He said.

"I don't want to." I said, shaking my head.

"It could be important." Carlisle said.

I sighed. "Stay here with me while I do it?"

"Of course." He said.

"What is it Jake?" I asked once I answered.

"You have to come home." He said.

I rolled my eyes. "That isn't happening."

"No, Bella you don't understand."

"Yes, Jake, I do. None of you understand what's really been happening between us." I said, feeling anger bubble in my stomach.

"I don't mean about you and him." Jake said. "You need to come home because of Charlie."

"What?" I asked.

"He had a heart attack today when he was at work, Bella come back to be with him."

"Oh my god." I whispered. "Okay…I'll fly out as soon as I can."

"Hurry." He said. "He's in the hospital, room two-twenty-four." I wrote it down and hung up on Jake.

"What is it, Bella?"

"It's Charlie." I whispered. "He…he had a heart attack. I have to go to Forks."

I got up off the couch and went into our bedroom. I wanted so badly for Carlisle to come with me, but I didn't want to ask him. I didn't want him to feel obligated to come. I sighed as I grabbed my suitcase and began throwing some things into it.

"Do you want me to come with you?" he asked softly. I hadn't even realized that he had come into the room.

I turned and looked at him. The look on his face told me that he already knew the answer.

"Yes please." I whispered. "If it's not too much trouble."

He walked over to me and enveloped me in his arms. "It isn't any trouble at all, Bella. I'm here for you, always."

"Thank you Carlisle." I whispered.

He helped me finish packing and then threw some of his clothes in my suitcase as there was a lot of room. I packed a carry-on bag for myself while he got his ready, and he called a cab to the airport.

I felt like crying. My relationship with Charlie had completely blown up yesterday, and now he was in the hospital. I felt horrible and I blamed myself for it. Carlisle and I went downstairs just as the cab was pulling up. I had a feeling that having Carlisle with me would ultimately end up being worse, but I needed him with me. My stomach was a snarl of nerves as we went to the airport. Carlisle held me close to him and would kiss the top of my head every once in a while.

I'm sure Carlisle was thinking the same thing I was thinking. What would happen when we walked back into Forks together? What would happen when we walked into the hospital together? What would Charlie say? What would Jake say?

I leaned against Carlisle, needing him now more than ever.

In the airport we ordered a pair of tickets and waited.

For the entire time we waited, Carlisle held me. We didn't speak much, but I actually liked it that way. I didn't feel the need to have to say meaningless things to him; it wouldn't make me feel any better.

If I had thought waiting to be allowed on the plane was bad, the actual plane ride itself was even worse. First it took twenty minutes longer than normal for the plane to actually take off, and second, the plane ride itself was long. It felt about fifty times shorter than it had felt when I had come to Toronto. In normal circumstances that would've been a good thing, but not in this case. I was so nervous to see my dad…to see what shape he'd be in and how he'd react to seeing me. I was so afraid of what I was about to walk into.

I was glad Carlisle had come with me. It would probably just make things worse, but I needed him with me. I couldn't do this by myself.

The plane began its descent, and I gripped Carlisle's hand. Once we were off the plane, we navigated our way through the airport and picked up our suitcase. Outside the airport, Carlisle hailed a cab, and had it take us to the hospital. I stared out the window at the green scenery of Forks. I didn't want to be here.

We got out of the car at the hospital, and I gripped Carlisle's hand tightly. I had never been more scared in my entire life.

I didn't know what I was about to walk into, I was afraid of what I would have to face. I had hoped to just be able to leave Forks behind. I knew that I would've had to come back sooner or later, but I was hoping it wouldn't be less than three days after I had left.

Carlisle squeezed my hand as we walked into the hospital together. I knew that I could face anything with Carlisle at my side, keeping me grounded.


	32. Chapter 32: Tension

Chapter 32: Tension

"Dad?" I asked softly, entering the hospital room, holding Carlisle's hand tightly. I looked into the room and felt a lump form in my throat. He had an oxygen mask on, and looked so pale it was scary. He turned his head slightly to see me at the door, and turned away immediately.

I flinched as if he had gone to slap me across my face. Carlisle gently pushed me further into the room. My hands shook as I went into the room further. My stomach was a tight knot of nervousness. What was I going to say to him? What could I say to him?

"Dad?" I said again. "How…how are you feeling?"

Again, he didn't say anything to me, didn't even turn his head when I spoke to him.

"Dad," I said, my voice stronger this time, demanding his attention. "Are you really going to do this to me?"

"You can go," He said, still not looking at us, tone dismissive. "Both of you."

That hurt me.

"Fine." I said, and turned on my heel, leaving his hospital room immediately. Carlisle was close behind me, and enveloped me in his arms.

I wanted to cry in his arms. I wanted to break down and cry, but fought against it.

"He hates me," I whispered. "Carlisle, he _hates_ me…he…he didn't even want to see me…he could barely look at me."

"It's okay," he soothed. "It could have just been because I was here with you. Maybe if you were to come back tomorrow without me it'd be better on him."

"Yeah, you're probably right," I said. "Can we go? I don't want to stay here longer than I need to."

He nodded. "Of course, love."

Just as we walked out of the hospital, Jacob was going in; I didn't miss his quick glare at Carlisle before he addressed me.

"Bells?" he asked. "You're leaving?"

I nodded. "He…he didn't want to see me…us."

Jake bit his lip. "Why don't you come with me tomorrow? I'll come get you and we'll go together."

"I…I don't know," I said, feeling exhausted and worn out. "Maybe, I'll let you know."

"Call me." He said.

I nodded, and Carlisle and I left the hospital.

On the cab ride to my house, we were both quiet. Carlisle didn't want to say anything to upset me, and I loved him for it. I wasn't in the mood to talk.

After Charlie had barely looked at me, I felt beaten down. My own father didn't even want to look at me, let alone talk to me. I had a feeling that if I went to see him tomorrow, with or without Carlisle, I would get much of the same response.

In my current state of mind, I didn't even want to think about tomorrow. I didn't want to go, and I didn't want to just get rejected again. That sting of rejection from my own father was one of the hardest things to deal with-a close second to when I found out I had lost the baby.

Wasn't parental love supposed to unconditional? No matter what happened, weren't you always supposed to love your children? What the fuck had happened to that?

Charlie hadn't even wanted to look at me, but I couldn't just leave him here. I knew that I would have to stay in Forks until I knew that he was better. I couldn't leave without knowing that he would be okay.

I can't say that the next day was any worse.

When Jake and I walked into his room, he really only paid attention to Jake, it was as if Jacob had taken my place as Charlie's child.

"Charlie," I said, the use of his actual name as well as my tone demanding his attention. I would not be ignored any longer. "Are you going to speak to me, or should I just go back home to Toronto?"

"You're an adult," He sneered, turning to look at me. "You can do whatever you please."

"I flew all the way back here to make sure you were okay," I said, hearing the tears in my own voice. "And now you're just going to ignore me because of who I'm romantically involved with? I don't understand why that has _anything_ to do with you."

"I want to see you with the right person." He said through gritted teeth.

"How do you know that Carlisle isn't the right person for me, Daddy?" I asked, tears springing to my eyes. All you're going by is our age difference…you don't even know him, Dad."

"I know what he's done to you," He growled.

"He hasn't_ done_ anything to me!" I said, exasperated. "Why can't you get that through your thick skull?" I took a deep breath before composing myself again. "I didn't come in here to argue with you today, I don't want to fight with you. This isn't the time or the place."

I could tell that he wasn't happy, but I wasn't backing down for this. I would not allow him to ignore me for the entire time that I was here.

"Jake, could you get me some ice?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah, of course," Jake said, exiting the room.

A pregnant pause fell between Charlie and me.

"Why him?" Charlie asked softly. "Why not a boy your age?"

"Why did you choose Mom?" I countered. "Why her and not some other girl?"

"There wasn't a substantial age difference between your mom and me."

"But you were in love, and you couldn't help loving her." I said. "Think about how you felt for her, possibly even still feel about her, maybe then you'll know why I chose Carlisle."

"Guess I'm going to have to get used to it sometime." He said gruffly. "But I'm not happy about it.

"I know you aren't…" I said, biting my lip. "I really love him, Daddy. I've never felt the way I feel for him about anybody else."

"Not even Jacob?" he asked.

I hesitated. I loved Jacob, but in a completely different way than I loved Carlisle.

"No…not even Jacob," I said.

"It'll take time," he warned. "Don't expect me to welcome him at family dinners anytime soon…or holidays, for that matter."

"I know." I said…then decided I needed to tell him something. "Dad…I…I need to tell you something-"

Just then, Jacob walked back into the room, I was thankful that he was back…but I idly also wondered how much of my conversation with Charlie he had heard.

The look on his face told me he had heard a lot more than I had wanted him to.

_Jacob_

I could taste the tension in the room the minute Bella and I had walked into Charlie's room. Charlie had told me exactly what had happened the day before when they had come to visit him, and I can't say I blamed him for it. I didn't like that she was with him, and neither did Charlie.

After Bella pretty much exploded at Charlie, I wanted nothing more than to run out of there, so I was thankful when Charlie asked me to go get him some ice. As I was on my way back into the room, I hesitated; Bella and Charlie were still talking.

"-I've never felt the way I feel for him about anybody else." I fought the urge to roll my eyes at that.

"Not even Jacob?" I heard Charlie ask quietly.

A pregnant pause filled the room. I almost didn't want to hear her answer. I had a feeling I knew what it would be. I gripped the styrofoam cup, nervous to hear what she would say.

"No," she said finally. "Not even Jacob."

Anger bubbled in my stomach. After everything that we had been through together…how could she…?

I walked into the room and handed Charlie his cup of ice chips, and tried to conceal my anger. But, Bella knew. I could tell by the look on her face that she knew how angry I was. I couldn't hide it from her.

That night, when visiting hours were over, I drove her back to her childhood home.

"Thanks," she said quietly, as I pulled into the driveway. I could see a light on in the kitchen. "Jake…I…" she paused, biting her lip.

"You don't need to say anything," I said.

"Please don't be angry with me," she said. "You don't understand…"

"I understand perfectly," I said.

"Jacob," she bit her lip again, debating. "Jake…I…I was pregnant. That's the main reason I moved to Toronto. I turned to look at her, but she couldn't meet my eyes. "We were going to raise the baby together there…but when I got there, we found out I had lost it."

I leaned back against my seat. "And when were you planning on Charlie? Or me?"

"I don't know," she whispered. "I really don't. I figured after the baby came, I'd figure it all out. How to tell you both, when to tell you, but I couldn't."

"Does Charlie know?" I asked.

"No," she said. "I was going to tell him earlier when you had gone to get him ice, but then you came back before I could…I figured I should do that when I was alone with him."

I nodded. I could understand that. I didn't think I would really want to be there for that.

"Are you okay?" I asked quietly.

Now she looked at me, and we locked eyes.

She nodded. "I didn't think I would be okay…but I…actually am. I'm okay. It was really hard the first couple days, but now I'm okay."

"Has _he_ been okay with it?" I couldn't help but ask.

"If you're asking if Carlisle has been supporting me through this, then yes, he hasn't left my side since we found out, and has made me feel so much better. He isn't a bad person, Jake. I wish you could see that," she whispered.

"It's hard," I said.

"Please try, Jacob," she whispered. "You're the closest friend I've got, even closer than Alice…at least before you found out…I can't lose you."

"You'll never lose me," I promised.

I saw tears spring to her eyes. "Thank you, Jacob."

She kissed my cheek before letting herself out of my car. I backed out of the driveway, unable to tear my thoughts away from Bella and him. I don't think I would ever understand the appeal to him. I would never understand why she couldn't settle for someone her own age.

The way she had kissed my cheek earlier, it was clear what kind of relationship she wanted with me. She wanted me to act as a brother to her. I would always love Bella, and I don't think I could ever see her as a sister to me. The love I had for her went so much further than that. I could never just be like a brother to her. There was no way that I would ever be able to do that.

I had been completely honest when I had told her that she would never lose me, I would always stand by her and be there for her. I would never abandon Bella…I didn't have it in me to even try to.

She and I had grown up together, there was no way I could just let all that go without a second thought. No matter what choices she made, I'd be there for her as best I could.


	33. Chapter 33: Terrible

**Chapter 33: Terrible**

Silence fell over the room as I gripped Carlisle's hand. The room was so silent you could hear a pin drop. I watched Charlie's face as if I was a hawk, gauging his reaction to what I had just told him. It was just the three of us today, when Carlisle and I had walked in Charlie, surprisingly, kept his face neutral. He had politely greeted Carlisle, and that was pretty much the extent of their conversation…until I had told Charlie.

I took a really good look at Charlie, and it made me realize how bad he really was. He looked super thin, thinner than I had ever seen him in my life, and he wasn't eating as much. It scared me more than his reaction to what we had just told him.

If not for Carlisle's firm grip on my hand, I would have been shaking.

Charlie's face was absolutely still, and I had no idea what was going through his head.

Finally, after what seemed like decades, he turned his eyes onto Carlisle. I felt Carlisle shift slightly; though they were both grown men, I could see why Carlisle would be nervous. If it were a different situation I would have laughed at him for it-not this time.

"You owned up to what you did, and I can respect you for that," Charlie said. "You took responsibility for your actions…but you still knocked up my little girl."

I could hear the anger laced within his tone.

"She's my little girl, and I don't like this relationship, you both are fully aware of this. But, you're a good man, Carlisle, I can't deny that. And…I can see how happy you make her. Now, I don't want this relationship stuffed down my throat, but I guess…I give you my blessing."

Carlisle got up and went over to Charlie to shake his hand. "Thank you."

Charlie looked up at Carlisle and took a deep breath. "Take good care of her."

Some sort of understanding passed between them, and for some reason it made me think that they both knew something that I didn't. I made a mental note to ask Carlisle about it later on.

I didn't want to leave Charlie's side. Something about the way he was looking…his words to Carlisle…the way he spoke to us, it made it seem as though him giving Carlisle his blessing was too good to be true. As the hospital announced that visiting hours were over, I was still reluctant to go, but we had to.

After we left, we went to a small restaurant to get some food…and the entire restaurant stared at us. I could feel their eyes on us, and it angered me. Who the fuck were they to stare at us without shame? Did they not realize that we were humans to?

I could tell that Carlisle was just as uncomfortable as I was, so we got the food to go. I couldn't wait to get back to Toronto. Nobody judged us there

"So, what are you and Charlie hiding from me?" I asked Carlisle once we were back at the house eating our dinner. He looked at me in surprise.

"What do you mean?" he asked. Either he was a very good actor or he was genuine in what he was saying, because I couldn't detect a hint of a cover up or lie in the tone of his voice.

"I saw the look you two shared," I said. "When he told you to take good care of me; what was that all about?"

I didn't mistake the quick hesitation on his face, but he tried to cover it well. So they were lying to me.

"He knows that I understand how it feels-being a father myself-to see his daughter grow up," he said. "He was making sure that I would treat you right."

I spooned a bit of food into my mouth. I didn't believe him. I knew that something was going on that neither of them was telling me. I walked around to the other side of the table and sat on the chair closest to Carlisle.

"You don't have to lie to me," I whispered, fearing the worst. Carlisle looked down at the floor and took a deep breath.

"I don't want to upset you," he said softly.

My stomach felt as though it had just done about three cartwheels.

"What?" I whispered, feeling slightly nauseous, feeling as though I knew exactly what he was going to say. Carlisle hesitated for, deliberating. "Tell me as if I wasn't someone close to you. As if I was just a relative of a patient…I know that it's about him…just tell me, Carlisle."

He took a deep breath. "Your father is in very bad shape…I could tell just from looking at him, without doing a proper examination."

My lip trembled. "Wha-what does that mean?"

"Bella…he may not make it out," Carlisle said.

I leaned back against the chair and blew all the air out of my lungs. Charlie might not make it out of the hospital? I couldn't even imagine living life without him. He was my dad…how could I ever even imaging him not being around?

It felt as if a truck was being rammed into me.

"Bella, I'm so sorry," he said softly.

"He knows, doesn't he?" I whispered.

Carlisle nodded. "I'm sure he can feel it. Otherwise he wouldn't have spoken to me in the way that he was."

"How long?" I whispered.

"I'm not entirely sure," Carlisle said. "It could be days, weeks, I have no idea."

That night, the call came. I wept as Carlisle held me. I completely blamed myself for Charlie's death. I felt as though if Carlisle and my relationship had never come into the light, Charlie wouldn't have ended up in the hospital in the first place. How had I been so stupid to just allow Jessica to tell the town?

Charlie was dead. I would never see my father again.

"Bella, love, it isn't your fault," Carlisle soothed.

"Yes it is," I sobbed. "It is my fault…if…if Jessica hadn't…he would have never…" I could barely form a sentence.

Carlisle cradled me in his arms, and I took comfort in his embrace.

I pushed all thoughts away from Charlie. I couldn't think about him without breaking down. The next morning Carlisle and I had to make funeral arrangements. We both agreed that the sooner we got that over with, the better. The sooner we could get back to Toronto, the better-both for my state of mind and for the sake of Carlisle's job.

The funeral was a mess. The entire town was there, mourning my father, but also staring unabashedly at Carlisle and I standing together. At one point, just as I was about to snap at them, Jacob stepped in.

"Do none of you have any shame?" he demanded. "You could be a bit more sensitive to her feelings, given the current situation. If you're here to gawk at them, I suggest you leave, because you're here for all the wrong reasons."

Silence fell over the entire funeral home, and I leaned over to Jacob, whispering thanks to him.

A little while later, Renee came in-Phil in tow, and I held my breath, bracing myself for what she would say about Carlisle and me. I gripped his hand tightly, I was super nervous.

She came straight for me and hugged me tightly. "Are you okay?" she whispered in my ear.

I nodded. "I'm okay."

She looked the same as ever, her face had tanned a bit more, from constantly being out in the sun watching Phil's games, crow's feet a little deeper in her skin, but nonetheless still as beautiful as she was when I was little. Did this woman ever age? I could only hope to look as good as her when I was her age.

She stepped back and looked between Carlisle and I…and at our joined hands.

"And who is this?" she asked, inspecting Carlisle with her eyes.

"Mom, this is Carlisle…we're…" I trailed off.

"Together," she guessed.

I nodded, eyes searching hers, looking for her approval. She didn't look angry…but I could tell that she was masking her emotions and what she was really thinking. She smiled politely at Carlisle.

"This is neither the time nor the place for pleasantries, we'll speak later," she said, casting a small wink my way. I breathed a sigh of relief, she approved.

After the viewing was over, we went straight to the cemetery to have him buried. It was only Carlisle and me. I didn't want anyone else there with me. I only wanted Carlisle there with me.

Back at the house, we went straight to sleep. It felt nice closing the door to a terrible day. The next day was easier, I can admit that. Carlisle and I worked together to start to try and sell the house. I wanted to move on with my life as soon as I could. I wanted to go back to Toronto as soon as I could, and turn my back on all the sadness that came with Forks.

It took us three days to be finished with everything. Within three days we were back in our apartment in Toronto. The house back in Forks had been sold, I had spent some time with Alice and Jacob, but it was good to be back in Toronto. Walking back into the apartment felt like a breath of fresh air. After a long day of traveling, it felt good to fall into bed with Carlisle, all thoughts of Forks pushed out of both our minds.


	34. Chapter 34: Tedious

**AN: This story is now being posted here (without the spaces): ** www . thewriterscoffeeshop library / viewstory. Php ? sid=6784

**It will still be posted here, but if you still want to read this story I'd suggest keeping that in mind just in case FF decides to remove this story.**

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**Chapter 34: Tedious**

"How long have you and he been together?" Renee asked during a Skype call between us.

I thought back. How long _had _we been together? We had been together since last summer, but had been apart for most of the summer.

"Since my birthday," I lied.

"Don't lie to me, Bella," she said. "I can tell just by your expression that that's a lie. Come on, how long really?"

I couldn't help but smile. Renee knew me too well. "Since last summer. Not too long before my birthday."

"When you came to visit me?" she asked.

I felt my face heat remembering that weekend…and that that was the weekend we had "broken up". "A little before that," I admitted.

She gasped. "Did he come down with you?"

My face was scarlet at this point. "Yes."

"Do you really love him?" she asked.

I nodded. "I really do, Mom."

"I can see how happy he makes you," she said, smiling at me. "I just don't want to see you getting hurt. You haven't been with him for even one year, are you sure about him?"

I nodded again. "I am."

"Don't you think moving in with him was kind of a big step?" she pressed.

"Of course it was," I said carefully. "But it was a step I was ready to take with him."

"As long as you're sure," she said. "Listen, I gotta go, we'll talk soon."

I waved. "Bye Mom."

I shut down the laptop and went out to the kitchen. Carlisle was at work today. We had been back in Toronto for about a week, and things had slowed down immensely. We got back into the swing of things quickly. It was so nice to be able to just leave Forks behind. Of course, I couldn't completely leave Forks behind. I still spoke to Alice quite often. Jacob, however, was a different story. We had only spoken to each other once since I returned here. I didn't want to lose him because of this, but he wasn't making it very easy to keep up communication with him.

I was sure it wasn't permanent. He just needed some time to sort things out in his mind. I knew that he and Charlie had been close too, as Charlie was practically always at the Black house, so Jacob must have been taking this pretty badly as well.

I leaned back in my chair. Over the past month or so, I had lost so much. First the baby, then Charlie, now possibly Jacob, if he was trying to ignore me? I couldn't stand to lose Jacob as well. I wouldn't allow that to happen.

A long while later, Carlisle came home, and I could almost see a storm cloud over his head; I wasn't sure whether to ask what was wrong or to just allow him to get over whatever had put him in a bad mood. I could see by the way his mouth was set that he was in a bad mood, and the way his eyebrows slanted ever so slightly downwards.

"There's some food in the fridge for you," I said. "I already ate."

"That's fine," he said shortly. "I didn't expect you to wait for me."

I hugged my knees to my chest. "Is…is everything okay?"

He had opened the fridge to take the Tupperware container out so he could heat it up. I noticed a slight bit of anger cross his face.

"Everything's fine now that I'm back here," he said, sending a quick smile my way.

"You don't like your new job?" I asked, feeling guilt stab me. He had relocated here because of the baby and me.

"No, I love it," he said. "It's just that I have to help train a student-she irritates me." Now it was time for jealousy to stab at me. She? "She has absolutely no idea what she's doing. It's as if they brought her in from the street. I may go insane if I have to work with her any longer."

I couldn't help but feel relieved. I obviously had nothing to worry about with this girl; I could tell the mere mention of her name made Carlisle annoyed.

"How long is she going to be there for?" I asked.

"I don't know," he said. "They didn't tell me."

A smile tugged at my lips. "Maybe I could come in and work with you instead."

I didn't mistake the smile on his face as he sat down at the kitchen table with his food. "I'm sure that would be _much _more enjoyable."

A silence fell between us. We both knew the underlying meaning of what he had said. It was weird; we hadn't _done _anything since we had gotten back to Toronto. We'd sleep in the same bed, of course, but we hadn't actually done anything. I will admit that waking up next to Carlisle without worrying about someone catching us was absolutely amazing.

I slid off the couch and went over to Carlisle. I went up behind him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. I rested my head on one of his shoulders

"Are you okay?" he asked softly. "You've been through quite a lot over the past little while."

I nodded. "It's still hard to wrap my head around everything, but it's getting better."

"I understand completely," he said. "I know how hard it is to lose a parent."

This piqued my interested. Carlisle had never spoken to me about his parents before. I looked at his face; he was quietly looking at his food.

I so badly wanted to ask him about it, but I didn't know if he wanted to talk or not.

"Do you…do you want to talk about it?" I asked softly.

He turned his head and looked into my eyes. I could see sadness in them. "I probably wasn't much older than you when they died. They had gone out for the evening, and on their way home they got into a car accident. I remember when the police came to my door, I thought I had done something wrong…and then they told me." He took a deep breath. "The pain never really goes away, but you find ways to harness and control it. Why do you think I'm in the field that I'm in?"

I was lost in thought, thinking about a young Carlisle, being told that he had just lost his parents.

"That…that must have been awful for you," I said softly.

"Like I said, the pain never really goes away, but you find other ways to deal with it and control your emotions. It'll get easier for you, I promise."

I held him tighter, never wanting to let him go.

"What would I do without you?" I whispered.

I felt him take a deep breath. "I really don't know what I'd do without you either, Bella."

"My mom was interrogating me about you earlier," I said, corners of my mouth lifting into a smile.

He chuckled. "I'm hoping you only told her the good things?"

"What bad things would there be to tell?" I teased.

I let go of him so he could continue eating, and resumed my position on the couch. Later on, when he was finished eating, he came over to the couch and enveloped me in his arms. I leaned my head against shoulder. Words could not express how in love I was with him at that moment. It felt so serene and calm between us.

This was what love was like. Not hiding and meeting up secretly. It was meant to be like this-worry free. At that moment I didn't have anything to worry about at all…it felt nice. Considering the circumstances, I was looking on the bright side. Carlisle and I actually had a life outside that shit-hole little town in Washington. We could be seen together in public. We didn't have to hide anymore.

It was what I had dreamed of since the beginning of our relationship.

The next day, we went out for lunch together.

"Dr. Cullen? What a pleasant surprise," a female's voice said from behind me. I turned to see a young blonde woman approaching us. I glanced at Carlisle to see a look of displeasure, but it vanished and he smiled at her. From here I could see that it wasn't a sincere smile, just from the look in his eyes.

"Hello Jennifer," he said. "Bella, this is Jennifer, the medical student I told you about."

"Pleasure to meet you," I said, shaking her hand. In the pit of my stomach I felt jealousy stab at me. She was beautiful.

An awkward silence fell over us, and Jennifer, sensing it, excused herself and left our table. I turned back to Carlisle, and I could see annoyance etched into his face.

"She didn't seem too bad," I attempted.

"That's what I thought _before_ we began the medical work," he said.

"Well, don't let her get to you," I said.

He cast a smile my way. "I'll try not to. Whenever I'm working with her, I'll think about you waiting for me back home."

I felt my cheeks heat up, and I took another bite of my food.


	35. Chapter 35: Anger

**Chapter 35: Anger**

I stood in the kitchen alone. Carlisle was at work today, so I knew that he would inevitably come home in a bad mood, which had been happening almost every day for the past few weeks. I did whatever I could to lighten his mood, sexually and not, but I could still always see the underlying tension in his face.

I went into the living room and fired up my laptop, and decided that I would make things right with Jake. We had only spoken twice in the past few weeks, and they had been short, awkward conversations. I was sick of it. I signed on to Skype and thanked my lucky stars that he was online. I immediately opened a chat window with him and he agreed to video message with me.

"Hey Jake," I grinned.

"Hey Bells," he said returning my smile.

"How are you?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I'm okay."

And then we were both quiet.

"Okay, Jake, this needs to stop," I said, finally breaking our awkward silence.

"What does?" he asked.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," I said. "When did it become so awkward between us?"

"When I saw you with him," he grumbled. "And when you told me…about the pregnancy…I thought that I could maybe, hopefully, still have a small chance with you. But seeing that…now I know it'll never happen."

"But that doesn't mean we can't still be friends," I said. "I don't want to lose you."

He was quiet. "It hurt seeing you with him. It wounded me."

"I understand that," I said. "But wasn't it better to see it? You can move on now."

"I don't know if I can ever completely move on, Bells," he said. "I'll always be here for you. Always."

"So show me that," I said. "Don't ignore me."

He shook his head. "I can't help but think of you in other ways. I know you want me like a brother to you, but I can't ever think of myself as that to you."

I looked away, unable to meet his eyes. I hadn't realized just how much I had hurt him.

"I've been trying so hard to get over you, Bella," he said. "I've been dating girls, only to dump them within a few days because they aren't good enough."

I felt tears stinging at my eyes. "Jake, you'll find someone."

He short, bitter laugh escaped him. "I really don't know if I will."

"You will," I said.

"You felt something when you kissed me," he said, anger beginning to lac his tone. "Don't deny it, Bells, you know that you did."

"That was a long time ago, Jacob!" I said, exasperated.

"But it was still a long time after we broke up."

"Jake, you know I love you, but I don't feel the same way about you. I don't think I ever can again," I said. "We've known each other since we were little…you're like a brother to me now. I know that that isn't what you want to hear, but I'm sorry. It's the truth."

He took a deep breath. "I have to go."

"Wait, Jake, please," I said.

"I have work," he said. "We'll talk later."

He signed off before I could say goodbye.

I leaned back against the couch and closed my eyes and blew all the air out of my lungs.

"Why do you still talk to him if he upsets you this much?" Carlisle's voice made me jump. My eyes flew open and I stared at him. How much had he heard?

"I didn't even hear you come in," I said.

"Are you okay?" he asked. I looked at his face. Something was wrong.

"I'm fine…are…are you okay?" I asked.

"Fine," he said, going into the kitchen.

What was that all about? He looked exasperated, and almost…_guilty_? Suspicion seeped into me.

Carlisle came out of the kitchen with a glass of water.

"How was your day?" he asked, not looking directly at me.

"Fine, I guess," I said.

And then we were quiet. I had no idea what was up with him, and I almost didn't want to find out. Normally when he had a bad day at work, he'd be a bit more open to conversation. Today…nothing.

"Bad day at work?" I finally asked.

"No, it was fine," he said. "I'm going to go take a shower."

"Okay," I said. I fell back against the couch again. Nervousness knotted in my stomach. What the fuck was going on with him? I feared the absolute worst…and I didn't even know what the absolute worst was.

That night, I lay in bed beside him; I could feel that he was tense. I reached my hands up to his shoulders and rubbed them, but he stopped me.

"Not tonight," he said.

I looked at him, taken aback.

"Okay, what's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing," he said, not meeting my eyes.

"Carlisle, you're scaring me," I said, hearing the desperation in my voice.

"It's nothing, love, don't worry," he smiled. "I've just been nursing a headache all day."

I searched his eyes, trying to see if there was any deception there. He met my eyes steadily, so I dropped it.

"Do you want some Advil or anything?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Don't worry."

He enveloped me in his arms and I rested my head against shoulder. Somehow I knew that it wasn't just a headache. There was more to this than he was wanting to tell me.

It terrified me.

The next morning I woke to an empty bed. Was Carlisle working today? I had thought he had the day off. I shrugged. Maybe that was next week. For the life of me, I couldn't remember.

I went out to the main living space and saw Carlisle in the kitchen. He was cooking something.

"Good morning," I said, going up to him and hugging him from behind.

I didn't mistake the slight jump when he heard my voice.

"Good morning," he said, voice sounding so incredibly sexy and wonderful.

"I thought you had gone to work," I said.

"No, I have today off," he said.

"Good, now I have you all to myself," I said with a smile.

"I was going to bring you breakfast in bed," he said.

I smiled. "Well, I can always go back to bed."

He chuckled. "No, you can eat at the table. Your fault now."

I let go of him and went back to the bedroom, giggling the whole way there. I crawled under the covers.

A few minutes later I heard him come into the room, but I didn't move.

"You know, you really don't deserve this," I could hear the smile in his voice.

I poked my head out from under the covers and smiled at him. He handed me a plate with bacon and eggs on it, and sat with me on the bed.

"Are you feeling better after yesterday?" I asked, forking some egg into my mouth.

He hesitated briefly. "Much better now."

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked.

Again, he hesitated. "I'm fine, Bella."

"You've been acting strangely," I said.

He didn't say anything…and that worried me even more.

"Okay, Carlisle, what is going on?" I demanded. I locked eyes with him, ensuring that he wouldn't be able to look away.

He took a deep breath. "Bella…Jennifer and I…"

He trailed off and my hands shook. I couldn't tear my eyes away from his. I wanted to look away, but I couldn't bring myself to.

"You…you what?" I asked, hearing my voice shake.

"We…hooked up," he said. "She came on to me…I tried to stop her but…I couldn't. There's no excuse for it."

"You…you cheated on me," I whispered, feeling the tears come, and also feeling anger burn in my veins.

"Bella, I'm so sorry, I didn't want this to happen-"

"Don't," I said, cutting him off. "How…how could you? I…I'm speechless right now, Carlisle. I…I don't even know what to say to you right now. I don't even want to look at you right now."

"Bella, it was a one-time thing-"

"That's exactly what your son told me," I said. "How do I know this won't happen again?" I put the plate of food down on the bed, feeling disgusted. I literally felt sick to my stomach.

I got up off the bed, and searched for my suitcase.

"What are you doing?" he asked, getting up as well.

"I'm leaving, Carlisle," I said.

"Bella, please, don't go," he begged. "Let me fix this. I'm so sorry…I felt so guilty last night…I could barely look at you."

"I can barely look at you right now," I snapped. I felt more hurt than I felt angry. I was using the anger to cover up my underlying pain.

I found my suitcase, and began throwing as many items as I could into it, fighting as hard as I could against crying. I had thought that nothing like this would ever happen between us…and it had.

"As if you're completely innocent in this relationship," he said.

A sense of déjà vu washed over to me, as I remembered Edward saying the same thing to me almost a year ago.

"What?" I demanded.

"Jacob," was all he said.

"What are you talking about?" I asked. "Are you talking about the time I kissed him? Because that was _so _long ago, Carlisle, and he knew that it would never happen again, because I was _angry_ with him. I stormed out of his house so quickly…and _that _was just a kiss. _Nothing _more."

"Where are you going to go?" he asked desperately. "Please, Bella, don't go. Please, I'm so sorry. We can work through this."

"No," I said, tears stinging at my eyes again. "No Carlisle, I thought that you would never, _ever _hurt me…and you did."

I went to push past him, but he enveloped me in his arms.

"I love you so much, so so so much. I hate myself for hurting you, Bella," he said. He tilted my chin up so I was forced to look at him. I could see how desperate he was for me to stay; it was so clear in his eyes. He wanted to make it work. And I almost gave in. He pressed his lips against mine. "I don't ever want to hurt you, Bella; I promise you that I never will again. This will never happen again. Please stay here."

"You can't just kiss me and expect everything to be alright again," I said bitterly. "It doesn't work that way."

This time I succeeded in pushing past him, and I left the apartment. I dragged my suitcase down the hall, and a tiny part of me was relieved when I heard the apartment door open, and heard his footsteps rushing to me.

He got to me, and turned me around. "Bella, please stay, please."

I closed my eyes and fought against the tears that threatened to surface. I looked away from him, unable to see his face.

"No," I whispered. "I just…I need some time. I…I can't deal with this, Carlisle, I really can't."

"Where are you going to go?" he whispered desperately.

"Back to Forks," I said simply.

"You don't have to do that, I'll leave for a while, and you can stay here. You don't need to fly all the way to Washington just because…"

I shook my head sadly. "I'll come back when I'm ready."

He held me tight against him. "I love you so much, Bella, I truly do. I made a mistake, and I have no excuses for it."

His words made me want to stay with him so badly. I wanted to go back inside and tell him it was alright…but I couldn't. Everything was not alright. He betrayed me.

I broke away from him. "Goodbye."

I turned and began walking again, I had wanted to say more to him but the words got stuck in my throat and I couldn't manage to say anything else. Surprisingly the elevator came right away, and I got into it before I could bring myself to look back at him.

I made it to the taxi before I broke down.

_Carlisle_

How could I have been so stupid? I stood in the apartment, asking the same question over and over again. Now, because of my stupidity, Bella was gone, and I had no idea when, or if, I would see her again. I wanted to go after her so badly. I wanted to run after her as quickly as I could to get her back, but I knew that it would be no use. Once she set her mind to something, she would rarely change her mind.

I sunk down onto the couch, holding my head in my hands. After a while, I knew what I had to do. I picked up the phone, and dialed.

_Bella_

The rain pelted my head as I pounded on the door. The tears had subsided on the plane. As the plane landed in Forks' tiny airport, a sense that I didn't belong washed over me. Finally, he opened the door, and I fell into his arms.

"What are you doing here?" he asked into my soaking wet hair.

"Remember when you said you'd always be here for me?" I asked.

"Of course," he said.

"Well, I need you," I whispered.

Jacob helped me into the house, and got me a towel and sat with me on his couch.

"What happened?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I don't want to talk about it."

"What did he do?" he demanded. "If he hurt you…"

"Jacob, I said I don't want to talk about it," I said. After that, he I respected my wishes, and held me close to him. He soothed me and made me feel better. Of course, I didn't feel completely better, it still hurt to remember what Carlisle had done, but Jacob made the pain go away for a bit.

_This _was what I needed from Jake.


	36. Chapter 36: Bad Timing

Chapter 36: Bad Timing

I sat on Jacob's couch, shivering and soaking wet. I had changed out of my wet clothes and into pyjamas, but I was still soaking. Jacob gave me a sweater of his, and I relished in the heat of it. I still hadn't told him what had happened. I didn't want to. I knew that if I told Jacob what had happened, he'd want to fly to Toronto to kill Carlisle himself. I was numb. I felt as though I had been betrayed by Carlisle.

"Where's Billy?" I asked, breaking the silence between us.

"He moved out," he said. "We put him in a retirement home. None of us liked it much, but he knew that it was getting too hard for him to move around this place with the wheelchair."

"So now this house just belongs to you?" I asked.

He nodded. "Billy didn't want to sell it. You can stay here for as long as you like."

That made me want to burst into tears. "Thank you, Jacob."

"Are you ever going to tell me what happened?" he asked.

"Probably not," I said honestly.

Was I wrong to be this angry at Carlisle? He had been right; I had kissed Jacob while he and I were together, and I had also cheated on Edward with Carlisle.

"Jake, I'm going to go to bed, it was a long flight," I said.

"You can have my room," he said.

"I'm not going to kick you out of your own bedroom," I said. "I'll take the couch. Don't worry."

"We could share," he suggested.

"No," I said.

He sighed. "I figured that wouldn't work. Just take the bed, don't worry. You deserve it after a long flight."

"Thanks," I said, and made my way upstairs. I went into Jacob's room, and collapsed onto his bed. It felt good to be under the blankets and on a comfortable bed. I grabbed one of the pillows and hugged it close to my body, wishing it was a person.

That night, I cried myself to sleep.

Over the course of the next week, Jacob and I tried to find routine in our life "together". Most nights he would sleep on the couch, but some nights I had made myself fall asleep on the couch so that he could have the bed. A couple times he had attempted to kiss me, but I would never let him.

I wanted to go back to Toronto and make things right with Carlisle. The problem I had to face now was telling Jake.

We sat across from each other at the kitchen table, silently eating dinner together.

I cleared my throat and met his eyes. "I think I'm going to go back to Toronto soon."

He dropped his fork into his plate. "What?"

"I have to go back and make it right with him," I said. "I…I can't take this anymore."

"Just stay here, Bella," he said, desperation seeping into his voice. "Leave it all behind. Start fresh here…with me."

I shook my head. "No, Jake, I'm sorry."

He sighed. "I'll take you to the airport, then."

"Thank you," I said. I left the table and went upstairs to gather my things and put them in my suitcase.

The drive to the airport was quiet. I could tell Jacob wasn't happy, but I didn't really care. I needed to go back to Toronto to make things right with Carlisle.

I ordered a ticket once at the airport, and checked in. I said goodbye to Jacob, and promised to talk to him soon. I waited in the waiting area, nervousness seeping into me. What would happen when he saw me? Would he be angry with me?

When it was time, I walked onto the plane, legs feeling like jelly.

_Carlisle_

"She isn't here?" I asked Alice, rain hitting my head.

Alice looked confused. "No…she isn't…is she supposed to be?"

I rubbed my face, feeling stressed. It had been a week since she had left, and I couldn't take it anymore. I had to go find her. I had assumed she would come here, to stay with Alice…but I was mistaken. Where else could she have gone?

Then I figured it out. She was staying with Jacob.

"Thank you, Alice," I said, turning to leave.

"Wait," she said. "You look exhausted. What's going on?"

"It's a long story," I said. "I'll explain later."

I got back into the cab, and told the driver where to go. As we pulled up to the house, I breathed a sigh of relief as I saw that there was a light on inside.

"Wait here," I told the driver.

I got out of the car, and went to the door and knocked. A few moments later, Jacob opened the door. The look on his face at seeing me told me that he wasn't exactly pleased at my appearing, but at that moment I didn't care.

"Is she here?" I asked desperately.

"I just got back from taking her to the airport," he said. "She's waiting right now to board a plane to go and see you."

At that point my mind was moving at a mile a minute.

"What time does her plane leave?"

"Nine-thirty," he said.

"Thank you, Jacob," I said, turning and leaving his front porch. If I hurried I could catch her before the plane took off.

"Go back to the airport, as quickly as you can," I said to the cab driver, once I was back in the car.

He gave me a weary look.

"I'll pay you extra," I said. "I just have to get there before nine-thirty."

The driver looked at the clock and looked back at me wearily again.

"Please," I practically begged.

"Alright, but I can't make any promises," he said.

"Trying will be enough," I said.

I searched my pockets, wishing I had remembered to bring my phone so I could call Bella. Why had I been so stupid?

This question had been floating around my head for the past week. How could I have been so stupid and idiotic? I had caused this entire thing. Why had I done that? Why had I been such an idiot?

I leaned back against the seat of the car, blowing all of the air out of my lungs. Had I completely ruined what we had?

We got to the airport with only a few minutes to spare before nine-thirty. I paid the driver and _ran _into the airport. Once inside, I looked at the huge board with flight numbers, looking for the gate to the Toronto flight. I ran as quickly as I could to it, amid an announcement on the loud speaker that it was the last call for anyone who was boarding that flight. That made me run even quicker, I just wanted to catch her. I kept running, even though I was being shouted at to stop. I didn't listen, I just kept running. I had to catch her. I couldn't wait any longer before speaking to her. I couldn't.

When I finally made it to the gate, the waiting area was empty.

"Do you have your boarding pass?" the woman at the podium asked me.

"I…I don't have a ticket," I said, trying to catch my breath. "I need to speak to someone on that plane."

"I'm sorry sir, without a boarding pass you cannot enter the plane," she said.

"Can't you call her off the plane?" I asked. "Please, this is urgent."

"I'm sorry sir, the plane is going to take off now," she said. "I apologize, but there's nothing we can do."

I sat down in one of the chairs in the waiting area, feeling defeated and exhausted. I held my head in my hands.

_Bella_

I landed in Toronto and took a cab to the apartment. I was so nervous about seeing him again. As the driver pulled up to the curb outside, I paid him, and slowly exited with my suitcase. I stared up at the building that was looming over me, nervousness hitting me like a wave of nausea. My stomach was tightly knotted with nerves.

I fished my key out of my purse and went inside. I called the elevator, and waited. It came all too quickly. I rode the elevator up to our floor and went down the hall to our apartment. I paused before opening the door. What if he was fucking Jennifer right now? What if he had moved on from me and decided I wasn't worth the trouble? I took a deep breath and unlocked the apartment door and opened it.

It was dark and silent inside. Was he asleep? Did I want to know if he was sharing his bed with someone other than me?

"Carlisle?" I called, turning on a light. I looked around. The couch had a blanket and a pillow on it. That was…odd. I made my way into our bedroom, to see that the door was slightly open. I pushed it open all the way and peered inside. From here, it looked like the bed was empty, so I turned on the light.

The bed looked as though someone had been tossing and turning in it. Not in the same way Carlisle and I "tossed and turned" together. It looked the same way Jacob's bed had looked when I had slept in it.

He wasn't here. Where was he? Now I just wanted to go back to Forks. I felt defeated, and upset. I sank onto the bed, the realization crashing into me that the best thing I had ever had had been ripped away from me. Maybe it would be better to just go back to Forks and spend the rest of my life with Jacob. He seemed to be the only option I had right now.

He was probably with her right now. He was probably with her in her bed right now. He had moved on from me, it was time for me to as well. I didn't want to, but I had to accept that this this was over. I had lost him, and I would never get him back.

I loved him and understood him. It was so clear that he was the only one for me, yet it apparently I wasn't the only one for him. I loved him with all my heart.

And I still did.

I accepted my defeat, and left the apartment again, leaving all the lights on and a note for him, pouring my heart out for him to read.

I hoped beyond hope that I could get another flight back to Forks soon.

_Carlisle_

I sat on the plane, trying to get comfortable. I was all too ready to go back to Toronto. I needed to hold Bella in my arms again and tell her how sorry I was. I needed to speak to her…I needed to make things right.

I hadn't slept much in the past week. Every night I would try to fall asleep, but in the back of my mind I kept thinking that she'd come home. I kept expecting to hear the front door open. Any small noise and I would immediately be wide awake, hoping it was her.

As the plane began its descent into the airport in Toronto, I got off the plane and navigated my way out of the airport. I hailed a cab, and went to our apartment. I hoped that she was here. Where else would she be? She had just left Forks, and there was nowhere else that would make sense for her to be. I was exhausted, and I just wanted to go upstairs and talk everything over with her.

I went upstairs, anticipation building in the pit of my stomach. I couldn't wait to see her again. I excitedly walked down the hall to our door, and flung it open. All of the lights were on, and I sighed in relief. She was here.

She was actually here.

"Bella?" I called.

Nothing. No answer. Had she gone into the bedroom to sleep? I made my way down the hall and peered into our room. She wasn't there. Disappointment flooded through me. Where was she?

I searched every room of the apartment. She…she wasn't here.

I went to the kitchen, and slumped into a chair, resting my elbows on the table and holding my head in my hands. Now what?

My eyes caught a folded piece of paper on the table, with my name on it. I took it and unfolded it.

_Carlisle,_

_Coming back here to find an empty apartment made me realize that it actually is over between us. I don't blame you for moving on so quickly…I wish that I could say the same happened for myself. I'm going to go back to Forks again. I'm going to live my life there…with Jacob. I wouldn't have thought that this was how it would turn out for me, but it's the only option I see fitting enough for me. I sincerely hope that you have a good life, because you definitely deserve it. I think it's safe to say that you're the greatest man I have ever met, and I am so grateful for the time I spent with you. I only really left this note to let you know that it was in fact me here, and not someone robbing the apartment. I wanted to try and fix us, but now I know that there's no point. _

_Love, now and always,_

_-Bella_

I had to reread the note numerous times to truly understand it. I knew what happened. I had probably _just _missed her. She must have thought I was out somewhere with Jennifer. I leaned back and closed my eyes. I looked at the clock above the oven. It was three in the morning. This afternoon I would attempt to get a flight out to Forks. At least this time I knew for sure she'd be there.

I went into the bedroom, and got into bed, knowing that this would just be another sleepless night for the most part.

_Bella_

"Just hold me," I whispered. "Please, just hold me."

Jacob held me tight against him; we were sitting together on his bed.

"I just…I was so sure we could make it work. I was so sure that we could actually figure something out. I had hoped that we could work it out," I said. "I…I didn't think that he could move on so quickly. I don't blame him for it, what else would there be to do other than move on?"

Jacob was quiet. He didn't say anything.

"Can we sleep?" I asked. "I just…I need to be finished with this day."

"Of course," he made a move to leave, but I pulled him back.

"Can you stay with me?" I asked, feeling far too weak and vulnerable. I just needed somebody.

"Of course," he said. He wrapped me in his arms and I rested my head against his shoulder. I could get used to this, to be honest.

I fell asleep and actually slept better than I had in ages. That night, I woke up. I still had my head on Jacob's shoulder, so I hadn't tossed and turned at all. Soon after I woke up, Jacob did as well. We went downstairs together to get something to eat. I sat down at the kitchen table and watched Jacob move around the kitchen.

He sat down next to me with two bowls of cereal and handed me one.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

"You're probably not going to like this," he said. "But…"

I was about to ask what he was talking about, but he leaned in and kissed me. I didn't want to, but I kissed him back. His mouth moved with mine, and he took my head in his hands. My hands instinctively went to his hair, and I ran my fingers through the short strands.

A knock at the front door made me jump and break away from him.

"I'll get it," he said.

I moved the cereal and milk around my bowl, hunger vanishing.

"Let me see her!" yelled a man's voice…a voice that I would recognize even in death.

"She doesn't want to see you," Jacob said.

"She can tell me that herself," Carlisle said, entering the kitchen.

Our eyes locked onto one another. I stared at Carlisle, taking in just how exhausted he looked. Stubble lined his chin, and the bags under his eyes were very prominent. He stood in the doorway, watching me intently. I couldn't break eye contact with him, no matter how hard I tried. I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. It had seemed like so long since we had seen each other.

Finally, he broke the silence.

"Can we talk?"


	37. Chapter 37: Back

Chapter 37: Back

With all my heart I wanted to talk to him, I really did. And I almost did. I almost said yes, but then I remembered that he was literally _just _with another woman. How long ago had that even been? Last night?

"No Carlisle," I said, not wanting to hear the tears in my own voice. I scooted my chair away from the table, and went to leave the kitchen. "You were _just_ with her."

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"Carlisle, please don't pretend that you don't know what I mean," I whispered. I went to walk past him but he grasped my arm. His touch sent fireworks through my body.

"I'm not lying when I say this, Bella," he said. "I don't know what you mean."

"You were with her," I said. "I went to the apartment and found it empty. That was when I left you the note." With that, I pushed past him and went upstairs, feeling that I was on the verge of tears. I went into Jake's bedroom, and curled into a ball, facing the wall, on the bed. I wanted so badly to be in Carlisle's arms again, I literally _ached _for it, but he was _just _with her.

"I was _here_," he said, I hadn't even heard him come into the bedroom. "I was here, in Forks, trying to find you. I came to this house and Jacob told me that you had gone back to Toronto to find me. We had just missed each other, Bella."

Oddly, I could hear the blood rushing through my ears. Carlisle had come _here _to find _me_, while I had gone to Toronto to find him. And then another thought hit me. Jacob hadn't told me.

Jacob. Hadn't. Told. Me.

I rolled onto my other side and looked up into Carlisle's eyes. "You really came here?"

He nodded and sat on the bed beside me. "I couldn't take being away from you anymore."

"I'm so sorry for leaving…I should've stayed," I said.

"Don't apologize, Bella," he said. "I caused this, not you. I'm so sorry for what I did, I'll _never _hurt you again." He cupped my face in his hand, and I felt the tears pool in my eyes. I tried to blink them away, but they slipped out anyway.

"Hey, don't cry," he said softly, brushing a tear away from my cheek. "We're both here now."

"I'm just so sorry for everything that's happened," I said. "Like you said, I haven't been completely innocent in this relationship; I shouldn't have left like that. I was just so…so angry. I wasn't thinking straight. Carlisle, I'm so sorry."

He caressed my face. "You don't need to apologize, love, I understand why you left. I really do. Do you want to go home now?"

"Well, I was thinking…" I said. "Maybe we could stay at your old house for a few days? I've flown far too much in the past couple days, and I'd like to spend a bit of time with Alice as well…since she didn't even know I was here."

He smiled. "That's perfectly fine with me, Bella."

"Could you wait up here?" I asked. "I need to go speak with Jacob."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" he asked uncertainly.

I nodded. "Oh, I'm sure."

I went downstairs into the living room to find Jacob, and leaned in the doorway, crossing my arms tightly across my chest. He sprung up off the couch.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"No, I'm not okay," I said.

"What did he do?" Jacob growled.

"_He_ didn't do anything," I said. "It's what _you _did." I saw the fear flash very quickly across his face. "Why didn't you tell me that Carlisle came here, Jacob? Why? Were you really _that _desperate to get me to be with you? Really? I know that I was ready to just give up on Carlisle, I was ready to spend my life with you; I actually was. I thought that Carlisle had moved on completely from me, but then I find out that he came _here_ to get me back. _Why _wouldn't you tell me?"

Jacob hesitated before answering me. "I…I hoped that you would see some sense and come back to me."

Anger boiled through my blood. "How _dare _you, Jacob Black? How _dare _you disrespect me like that? You knew that if I had known that he had come here it would have made me so much happier, and I could actually live again. How selfish could you really be? I cannot believe that _you_ would do this to me." I turned to leave, but paused. "You know how much I care about you. You know how close I am to you. I cannot believe that you would do this to me, Jake. I thought I could trust you. I guess I was wrong. I'm leaving."

"Bella, I'm sorry," he said. "I don't know what I was thinking."

"Don't try to apologize, Jacob," I said angrily, turning back to face him. "There is absolutely no reason for you to have done this to me. How…how could you? I thought you were my friend."

"Do you have any idea how hard I tried to get over you?" he demanded. "Do you have any idea what I did to get over you? I dated Leah for God's sake! _Leah_ who's like a fucking sister to me. But you know what? I couldn't get over you. No matter what I did, no matter who I dated, I tossed them aside because I couldn't stop thinking about _you_. When you came back here today, I thought I _finally _had a chance with you. I thought I could finally be happy."

"Maybe if you hadn't lied to me like you had then maybe you could be happy," I snapped.

"No I wouldn't have been! You would have ran right back to him. Don't try to tell me any different," he said.

"Well maybe if you had told me the truth, we wouldn't end up like this," I snapped. "Goodbye, Jacob."

I left the living room and went upstairs back to Carlisle, and he helped me carry my things downstairs. We stood outside together in the pouring rain while Carlisle called a cab and we waited for it to come. When he was off the phone he held me close to him.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

I nodded. "I'm fine, just angry."

"Hey," he said softly, tilting my head up to his and kissing me. Oh my god, it had been way too long since we had kissed. The rain pelted our faces, but neither of us cared or worried about it. Our mouths moved together and our tongues danced with one another's.

You know how ever girl's dream is to kiss in the rain? I can see why now. It was so romantic…it was perfect between us.

The cab pulled into the driveway and we broke apart. Carlisle and I put my things into the cab, and Carlisle told the driver where to go. We sat together in the back seat, wrapped in each other's arms. It honestly felt so good to be with him again, I didn't even worry about the prospect of possibly seeing Edward at the Cullen house.

We pulled up to the massive house on the river, and took my things out of the trunk. I idly realized that Carlisle didn't have anything with him, but I'm sure he'd be able to buy the necessities here in Forks.

We went to the front door and knocked. It wasn't too late, and Alice quickly opened the door. She looked surprised to see both of us standing there. But after we explained the situation, she opened the door wider, and of course, welcomed us in.

"Alice, if you don't mind, we've both had quite a rough day, we'd really like to go to bed," Carlisle said.

"Of course," Alice said. "I'm sure you know where it is."

Carlisle led me upstairs to his bedroom, but as we were walking down the hall, Edward came out of his bedroom, head down, looking at his phone. I tensed, waiting for a reaction.

"Hello, Edward," Carlisle said. I could feel how tense he was.

Edward's head snapped up and he looked between us.

"Hello," he said shortly, then walked away.

Carlisle sighed. I could tell that he didn't like that. I didn't blame Carlisle. I don't know what I'd do if my own child spoke to me that way.

"It's okay," I said. "I'm sure in time it'll get better between the two of you. He was probably just surprised to see us here."

He looked down at me. "It's just hard to see that."

I nodded. "I can imagine it would be."

We went into Carlisle's bedroom and I collapsed onto the bed.

"I wish I had extra clothes for you or something," I said.

He waved off what I said. "Don't worry, Bella."

I looked down at myself and realized I was still in my pyjamas. I hadn't even gotten changed at all today. Oddly, this didn't bother me. Carlisle slid into bed beside me and wrapped me in his arms.

"God, I've missed you," he whispered into my hair.

"I can tell that you haven't slept," I noted, then ran my fingers along the stubble lining his chin. "And you haven't been taking much care of yourself."

A small smile spread across his face. "Shaving has not been the top of my priorities this past week."

"What have been your priorities?" I asked.

"Getting you back…and finding a job," he said.

"What?" I asked.

"I quit my job," he said simply.

"You…you quit your job?" I asked.

"It went hand-in-hand with getting you back," he said.

Guilt swelled in my chest. "Carlisle, you didn't need to do that."

He looked at me seriously. "Yes, I did."

"Did you…did you find another job?" I asked.

He nodded. "I don't start for another two weeks, and it isn't quite as good as the one I had before, but it still pays much better than anything I had here."

"You gave up a job you absolutely _loved_...for me?" I asked.

"I love you more than any job I could have," he said.

I felt tears pool in my eyes again, but blinked them away. "Thank you, Carlisle, thank you so much."

He pressed his lips against mine. "You don't need to thank me, Bella."

I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. It felt so natural to do this. it felt right to be here, in Carlisle's arms.

"I missed this," I whispered.

I felt his arms tighten ever so slightly. "So did I."

And with that, I fell asleep, wrapped tightly in the man's arms who I truly loved more than anyone else in the world.


	38. Chapter 38: Talk

**Chapter 38: Talk**

"You went back to him?" I practically shrieked.

"Shhh!" Alice hushed. "You don't need to yell it to the world!"

Alice and I were sitting together on the front porch and she had just told me that she had gotten back together with Jasper.

"Last time we talked about him, you hated him," I pointed out. "What changed?"

She shrugged. "I realized how much I really loved him…after he and I were over for a few weeks, I wasn't doing too well. I'm sure you noticed it; one day when you came over I could see on your face that you knew something was wrong with me."

I actually remembered that day clearly. I remembered when she opened the door for me and had lied and told me she had just woken up. I hadn't pressed her on the issue because she had distracted me by talking about the baby.

"With me losing the baby in the accident, and then breaking up with him…it all got to be too much for me. I feel so weak for going back to him, Bella, _so _weak."

I hugged her tightly. "You aren't weak. You're just in love. How's his mom been?"

"Terrible," she said miserably. "She's been crazy judgemental of me. Every little thing I do…I feel like I'm being scrutinized for it."

"It's okay," I said. "It'll get better once she realizes that you two are actually going to last."

She took a deep breath. "I know, but it's hard."

"I know it is…dealing with my dad and Jacob when everyone found out…" I said.

"Edward was absolutely _pissed_."

This piqued my interest. "He was?"

She nodded. "He said that he knew something was going on, that it was too coincidental that both of you were leaving Forks this close to each other…he was even considering talking to Jacob or your dad about it, to see if they knew something. I, of course, had to pretend that I knew absolutely nothing. He kept bombarding me with questions; of course he was mad at our dad…as everyone around here seemed to be."

I stared at her in horror. "Everyone?"

"As you can imagine, the whole town was talking about both of you when it came out into the open. People were angry with my dad; people were talking about you…some of what they said…"

"Do I even want to know what they said about me or…?"

"They called you a slut," she said simply. "I think it was worse for my dad though."

"And I've brought him back here," I said, holding my head in my hands.

"It's okay," she said. "Firstly, you aren't going to be here again long, and if you guys do go out somewhere you can shove it up all their asses."

I chuckled. "When we were here before, when my dad was in the hospital, we went into a restaurant and literally everyone was staring at us. We got the order for take-out instead."

"Next time, don't," she said simply. "You don't owe them anything. Your dad gave our town so much, and look at everything my dad's done for this town. What is going on in your private life shouldn't change that at all. Before this, my dad was one of the town's favourite people. Why should that change now?"

"I guess you're right," I said. "Too bad the town doesn't seem to understand that. Did I tell you what Jacob did?"

She shook her head.

"Well, when I had gone back to Toronto to see that Carlisle wasn't at the apartment I came back here. I had just given up on us, so I came back here and…I guess accepted that I should be with Jacob. Meanwhile, I hadn't known that Carlisle had come here looking for me, and he had gone to Jake's place to find me," I said. "When I got back here, Jacob didn't tell me that Carlisle had gone there looking for me. He had hid it from me, knowing all too well that I had given up on Carlisle and me. He selfishly hid that Carlisle had come looking for me, even though I'm sure deep down he knew I wouldn't be happy."

"Oh my God, he didn't," she said.

"Unfortunately he did," I said.

"I can't believe he'd do that," she said.

"I sincerely hope that you aren't talking about me," Carlisle's voice floated over to me. I looked over at the front door to see Carlisle leaning against the door frame.

"We aren't," Alice said, getting up.

"You don't need to get up," Carlisle said.

"No, I'm going to go see Jasper," she said, smiling quickly at me.

"Bye Ali, see you later," I said, smiling up at her. She quickly went inside the house, and Carlisle joined me on the bench on the front porch.

"How is it for you, being back here?" he asked.

"It's fine," I said honestly. "How is it for you?"

He leaned against the backrest on the bench. "I haven't really gone out in public since I got here, I only went out to get some clothes…and as you saw last night, Edward wasn't pleased, but that's been the only big issue."

I was quiet. Carlisle's own son didn't even want to look at him. I had caused that tension between them. It was my fault that Edward didn't want to speak to Carlisle.

"I was wondering if you maybe wanted to go to Seattle for dinner tonight," Carlisle said. I turned and looked at him in surprise. "If you don't want to, I completely understand. But I think it'll be good for use to get of here…actually go on a date."

I chuckled. "Are you asking me out on a date?"

He smiled. "I guess I am."

"Then I'd be honoured," I said, giving him a quick kiss.

I leaned against him and he put his arm around my shoulders. Of course, it was pouring rain, but it was nice to be able to sit here and just watch the rain fall with Carlisle.

"You know, I never thought we'd be able to do this," I said softly. "I never thought we'd actually be able to sit together on a front porch, just watching the rain pour…I guess I always thought we'd have to be holed up in motels, having to watch the sun rise through the window of the motel. It's just surreal to me, you know?"

He held me tighter against him. "I know."

"And with everything's that happened with us…" I trailed off.

"We've been through a lot together, love," he said.

"It's crazy," I said. "So much in less than a year."

I rested my head against his shoulder. We just sat together and looked out into the rain. It was soothing to be able to sit there with him. The rain was calming.

And then, of course, it had to be ruined.

Edward pulled up to the front of the house.

I don't know why he didn't just use the garage, but for whatever reason he didn't. He glared at Carlisle and I sitting together before trying to go into the door.

"Edward," Carlisle's voice held a very strong level of authority. It'd be hard for anybody to ignore it.

"What?" Edward asked, I could hear the stiffness in his voice.

"I want you to stop acting this way," Carlisle said. "You may not like either of us right now, but I'm still your father and I expect to be treated with respect. There is absolutely no reason for you to be acting this way towards us apart from pure jealousy."

Without another word Edward stormed into the house. Carlisle took a deep breath and made a move to get up, but I stopped him.

"I'll go," I said.

He looked worriedly at me, but allowed me to go into the house.

Edward was already in his room, so I went upstairs and knocked on his bedroom door. When he opened the door, I could tell he wanted to slam it in my face, but I spoke before he could.

"Can I talk to you?" I asked.

"You will anyway," he said arrogantly. "What choice do I have?"

"Listen, I know you aren't happy that he and I are together, but what difference does it make to you anymore? We don't even live in the same country anymore. We're only staying here for a few days because I don't think either of us could take another plane ride. Edward, I'm sorry, but I wasn't happy with you."

"You left me for my dad," he said, disgust lacing his tone.

"You knew, deep down, you knew that I was unhappy with you. I don't think you wanted to admit it to yourself, or you just didn't want to accept it. That was why you went to Jessica. You could tell that I wasn't happy."

"I could see us getting married," he said quietly, gazing out his window. "Yeah, deep down I guess I knew that you weren't happy, but I figured that was temporary. I figured whatever it was; you'd get over with or be comfortable enough to talk to me about it."

"Well I'm sorry, but I fell out of love with you," I said. "And it isn't your dad's fault-like everyone in this town seems to think."

He didn't say anything, so I turned to leave his room.

"Sorry about your dad," I heard him say softly.

"Thanks," I said before leaving. I went into Carlisle's bedroom and changed my clothes. As I was doing up my jeans, Carlisle came into the room. His arms came around my waist from behind me.

"You okay?" he asked.

I nodded. "Hopefully now Edward won't be as hostile to you."

His breath tickled my neck as he chuckled. "I highly doubt that will happen."

I turned so I was facing him and looked up into his eyes. "I talked to him…and I told him that it wasn't your fault."

I rested my head against his chest. It felt odd to be back in Forks, but it was nice to be here with Carlisle. It felt like we were finally doing something right, after we had made so many mistakes.

"Come on, you want to go for dinner?" he asked.

I smiled. "I'd love to."


	39. Chapter 39: Fantastic

**I AM SO SORRY IT HAS TAKEN ME LONG TO UPDATE; I PROMISE I DIDN'T GIVE UP ON THIS, I JUST GOT SUPER BUSY. **

**Anyway, enjoy! **

**Chapter 39: Fantastic**

Dinner was an absolute nightmare. It wasn't only Forks and La Push that knew what happened-it was Seattle too. We walked into the little Italian restaurant and literally everyone stared at us without shame. I remembered what Alice had said, about not letting them get to me, and I'll admit that it was hard. What was even worse was that Jacob was sitting three tables away with a girl. Anger shot through me. Why couldn't I escape him?

Carlisle immediately noticed the difference in my posture. "We can move if you want."

"No, it's okay, if I can ignore everyone else in this restaurant, I can ignore him. It just irritates me that he's here."

"This was a bad idea," he said.

"No, it wasn't," I said. "If they have a problem with us, then let them." I put my hand on his. "We have absolutely nothing to prove to them. Why shouldn't we be allowed to go out somewhere for dinner? Why should it bother any of them?"

A smile tugged at his lips. "I wish that they could see that."

"Trust me, I do too."

Together, and trying to completely ignore the people around us, we ate dinner together. I could feel everyone's eyes in my back, but I couldn't help but glance at Jacob every so often. I knew Carlisle could tell, and to be completely honest, I had no idea _why_ I kept looking at Jacob. I was angry that he was here…yet I was also slightly jealous of the girl he was with.

I didn't know why I was jealous. I just was. I couldn't help it.

And it was really pissing me off.

Carlisle and I were sitting in a circular booth together, so he slid around and put his arms around my shoulders.

"We don't have to stay, we can leave if you're uncomfortable," he said. "I want you to be able to enjoy this."

"I am enjoying being here with you; it's just the people here that are driving me insane."

He chuckled. "Well, this is going to drive all of them insane."

He leaned down and kissed me. I'm not normally one for PDA, but I didn't care at that moment. I kissed him back with everything I had in me. Take that, Seattle.

We broke away from each other and I looked around the restaurant. Everybody there had gone still and was just staring at us without shame-as they had before, but this time it was different. This time everybody in the entire restaurant had gone still. Nobody moved, nobody said a word. Our waiter brought us our food and we did our best to ignore everyone who was staring at us. It was hard to ignore them all, but we managed. After we were doing eating and paying for our meals, we walked around Seattle hand-in-hand together.

It was nice, being able to walk around with Carlisle. We had_ fun_. I was surprised that Carlisle was enjoying himself here in Washington. I knew that both of us were, surprisingly, much more comfortable in Toronto, so it surprised me that he was actually having a good time.

Hell, it surprised me that _I_ was having a good time. Despite what had happened at the restaurant, I was thoroughly enjoying myself.

He put his arm around my waist and walked with me through the streets. A while later we got back in the car-Alice's car-and drove back to the house. On the drive home, I couldn't keep my hands off Carlisle. I knew that I should've sat with my hands to myself in the passenger seat, but I couldn't help but undo my seatbelt and get as close to him as I could.

I knew where tonight would lead, and in all honesty I couldn't wait. We had been apart for a week, and separation had never been good for us. I nibbled on his earlobe as he drove, and I could tell that he was fighting with himself. I knew he was considering pulling over, and to be honest I wouldn't mind if he did exactly that.

"Bella you're going to drive me absolutely insane," he muttered.

I trailed kisses down his neck. "I thought I did that a while ago."

The vibrations from his small laugh tickled my lips. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed him grip the steering wheel a bit tighter. In the back of my mind, I knew that I should just let him concentrate on the road, but I was _so _horny and I needed him. I yearned for him.

I put my hand on his thigh and rubbed it. He shifted slightly, I could tell how much he wanted it. I kissed his neck some more and ran my fingers through his hair.

I kept rubbing his thigh, and I steadily, but slowly, moved my hand upwards. I heard a small groan escape from him.

"You will be the death of me," he said.

"So pull over," I whispered in his ear. "There's room in the backseat."

He let out a throaty, strained chuckle. "You have no idea how hard it is to not take you right here."

"Oh trust me," I said. "I do know."

Finally, he pulled over, just outside a foresty area-yes; there were lots of them in Washington. He grasped my face between his hands and kissed me. I could feel how much he wanted me in the kiss, and I returned my feelings wholeheartedly. I climbed over the console between us, and straddled his waist, never breaking away from his lips. I rocked against him, and he dug his fingers into my hips.

He opened his car door, and wrapped his arms around my back.

"It's raining," I mumbled against his mouth.

"Even better," he said.

He carried me out of the car, before locking the doors and taking his keys with him of course, and we went a little ways into the forest, while he was carrying me, I unbuttoned his shirt and kissed his neck and chest. I could feel how aroused he was from the position I had around his waist. The rain was soaking both of us, but it just added to the intensity of both our pleasure. He pressed me up against a tree, and crushed his lips against mine. Our tongues danced together, and his hand went under my shirt and cupped my breast. His finger circled my nipple and it sent shots of pleasure through my body.

We tore at each other's clothing until we were both completely bare, and then we were moving together. The second we were connected we both let out loud moans. It felt like it had been ages since we had last done this. The feeling of Carlisle inside of me like that was almost overwhelming. I clawed at his back, unable to control myself. My lips found his again and I crushed my mouth against his, taking his lip between my teeth as he pumped steadily inside of me. Words cannot explain how much I had missed him.

Being outside here, pressed up against a tree, with Carlisle pounding into me felt so raw and almost animalistic…I didn't mind that he was being so rough, I liked it. He pushed me to my edge and I felt that he was close too.

By this time our bodies were soaking wet from the rain, and probably also sweat, but I couldn't find it in myself to care. Waves of pleasure rolled through my as I felt my orgasm come. My body shook with pleasure as I rode it out, and I hadn't even realized that Carlisle had also climaxed.

We were both out of breath as we just stood together, me with my head in the crook of his neck, him with his arms wrapped tightly around me.

"Should we go back to the house?" he whispered.

"We should, but I don't want to," I said.

He chuckled. "I don't want to either, but I know you're cold. Come on, let's go." We gathered our soaking wet clothes off the floor of the forest and put them back on as best we could. It was gross and I couldn't wait to get them back off of me, but it would only be for a little bit.

Oh god, what if someone at the house saw us as we came inside. I could only imagine the amount of mud and dirt in both Carlisle and my hair, and I looked down at my clothes to see numerous mud stains on my shirt.

I glanced at Carlisle. His hair was disheveled from the rain, but was already drying. I dreaded the minute we walked through the front door of the house, because I knew that there would be quite a scene awaiting us…if anyone saw us.

Carlisle pulled into the garage, and I saw that only Edward's car was in it.

Well shit.

Carlisle must have noticed the look on my face, because he put his hand on my leg and squeezed it encouragingly.

"It'll be fine, love," he said. "We just got caught in the rain." A mischievous look passed through his eyes, and I felt heat creep up my neck.

We exited Alice's car and went into the house through the garage door. As quickly as we could, we made our way upstairs, but of course, bumped right into Edward.

"Rough night?" he asked me, cocking an eyebrow. I could tell he wasn't happy.

"We got caught in the rain," I explained.

I could tell he was fighting the urge to roll his eyes as he walked past us down the stairs.

"Oh Bella?" Edward called over his shoulder. I turned to look at him, question in my eyes. He hadn't even turned to look at me, but what he said annoyed me to no end. "You have a couple twigs in your hair."


	40. Chapter 40: Home

**Chapter 40: Home**

We had stayed in Forks longer than either of us expected. We went back two days before Carlisle started his new job. I'll admit, I was sad to leave Alice, I had missed her. But, she had promised to come visit us in Toronto, so that made the sting of leaving her (again) easier to take.

Leaving without saying goodbye to Jacob was eating away at me. I didn't want to admit it, but I missed him. He and I had been friends since we were little; it was hard to throw something like that away just like that. I knew that Carlisle could tell what was wrong, but he hadn't asked me about it. I'm sure he knew that I was upset about Jacob, but he didn't say a word to me about him-and I loved him for it.

We sat together on the plane; I had undone my seatbelt so that I could be as close to him as possible. I rested my head against his shoulder, and he had his arm around me, hand resting lightly on my back. He absentmindedly rubbed my back slowly in a circular motion. Words could not describe how much I loved this man. I almost felt overcome with emotion at the realization of this. I loved Carlisle so much, and we had been through so much in such a short amount of time…it was like a whirlwind.

"Are you alright?" he asked quietly.

I nodded. "I'm fine."

"What's wrong?" he asked. "I know something's wrong, is it Jacob?"

I hesitated and felt heat creep to my face before I answered. "Yes."

He held me tighter against him. "I completely understand that, Bella. You and he were friends for a very long time, to lose someone like that so suddenly is terrible. Especially for what he did to lose you-it'd hurt anyone."

I sighed. "I know you're right, it's just…I don't know."

"Get some sleep," he said quietly. "You've had a long day, and our flight is long. I'll wake you when we're landing."

I closed my eyes and surprisingly fell asleep right away. I don't know how long I had been asleep, but when I woke, Carlisle had his head leaning against mine, and from his breathing I could tell he was also asleep. I smiled to myself. Given the circumstances, I was in a good mood. I was super comfortable and relaxed-and I was in Carlisle's arms again.

The last time I had been on a plane, I had thought Carlisle and I were over. I had accepted the fact that he and I couldn't be together, and had planned to seal my fate that I would ultimately end up with Jacob. And now, here I was, in his arms, flying back home.

The thought of home hit me like a wrecking ball. How odd it was that Forks had felt more alien and unwelcome than Toronto did. As we flew, I was excited to get back to the big city, the anticipation rising in my stomach.

"Do you need anything?" a female flight attendant asked me softly, trying not to wake Carlisle or any of the other sleeping passengers on the plane.

"Just a blanket," I said, idea popping into my head. A few moments later, the flight attendant returned with a blanket, and I did the best I could at draping it over Carlisle and I without waking him. It was nighttime, so almost everyone in the plane was asleep. I ran my hand along his thigh, working my way up.

I felt him shift slightly-he was awake.

"Bella, what are you-"

"Shhh," I whispered. "You'll wake people up."

My hand worked its way up to his waistband, and I undid his jeans. My hand found his cock, and I began to stroke it slowly, leisurely. I felt it harden under my grasp. I smiled to myself; _I _did this to him, not some med student. This was the man I had worked so hard to get, and now he was _mine_, and I was his.

"This is revenge for last time we were on a plane together," I whispered in his ear.

His eyes widened at the memory as I continued to stroke him, not picking up speed. I want tortuously slow and then I ducked my head under the blanket. I was by the window, so I was covered by Carlisle's body easier than if I had been sitting by the aisle, and it was just us two in the row. I felt his arm come around my back, probably to hold the blanket in place so our _activities_ wouldn't be revealed in case anyone was to walk by.

I swirled my tongue around the tip of his erection, and I felt his hips shift slightly. I rolled my tongue along his tip a little more, before taking him as far into my mouth as I could, and sucking. I heard a sharp intake of breath from him, and he held me a bit tighter against him. I kept sucking and massaging what I couldn't fit in my mouth, and moving my tongue along his length until I felt his entire body tense. I increased speed and took him even deeper in my mouth. He came, hard, and I swallowed every drop of him.

I took the blanket off my head, and allowed Carlisle to readjust himself, and I grinned at him.

"You are going to be the death of me," he murmured.

I laughed as quietly as I could. "You did it to me."

"Oh, and I won't hesitate to do it again," he whispered, wicked gleam in his eyes. "Though, that was a _very _pleasurable way to wake up."

I smiled at him. "I'm glad I could be of service to you." I snuggled close to him again, and rested my head against his shoulder. His hand traced circles on my back, we were both quiet, neither of use seemed to want to speak or sleep.

"I've missed this," Carlisle said after a while. "I've missed holding you in my arms."

"I've missed being in your arms," I said. "I mean, I know we slept in each other's arms all week, but it wasn't the same."

"Ladies and gentlemen if you would please fasten your seatbelts, we're about to land," the pilot said on the intercom. I detached myself from Carlisle, and fastened my seatbelt. I the plane begin to descend and I felt like Toronto was welcoming me home with open arms.

Back in the apartment I shared with Carlisle, I felt comfortable, and safe. I was curled on the couch in my pyjamas, Carlisle was in the shower. I was warm too, all week in Forks it had been cold. But here, now, it was warm, and the warmth was comforting. The past two weeks hadn't been good. After everything that had happened between Carlisle and I, and everything that had happened with Jacob…it had taken a lot out of me. Being back here, I felt like I could actually relax again. Carlisle came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist-just a towel. I couldn't tear my eyes away from him.

He chuckled. "Enjoying the view?"

I grinned. "Always."

"Shower's free if you want it," he said. "I'll make some dinner."

"Alright," I said, getting off the couch and going into the bathroom. I peeled off my clothes and started the shower. The hot water felt absolutely amazing cascading over my body and my hair. I grabbed the bottle of shampoo from the little ledge inside the shower and went to pour some into my hand.

"Let me do that for you," Carlisle murmured from behind me. I jumped a little at the sound of his voice, and he took the shampoo bottle from me. He squeezed some of it out into his hands, and began to lather it into my hair.

Surprisingly his touch was gentle, and he did a really good job ofwashing.

"You're good at this," I said quietly, closing my eyes and enjoying the scalp massage he was giving me.

I felt his laugh against my skin more than I heard it.

"I do have a daughter, Bella," he said. "When she was little-too little to bathe herself-we used to give her baths."

"We?" I couldn't help but ask, and then I immediately regretted it. Of course I knew who he meant. His wife had died a long time ago-I had never met her. Carlisle was quiet. I'm sure he knew that I knew the answer to my question. "What was she like?"

"Let's not go into this," he said, continuing to wash my hair.

I turned around so I was facing him. "I want to. I've seen pictures of her…what was she like? It's hard placing a personality to a face."

He took a deep breath. "Let's not have this conversation in here; I'll be in the kitchen."

He slipped out of the shower and left me alone with my thoughts. I hadn't been able to read his expression as he had left the shower. I rinsed the shampoo out of my hair, put conditioner in my hair and washed my body. I was nervous to face Carlisle when I got out of the shower. I could tell that he didn't really want to talk about his…what was the word that wen there? His…previous wife? Carlisle was a widower, why had she never come up between us? Why had we never spoken about her? I knew her name had been Esme, and I knew what she looked like. I rinsed the conditioner out of my hair and slipped out of the shower.

I dried myself off and got back into my pyjamas. I put my hair into a loose bun. I stared at myself in the mirror for a long time before I went out into the kitchen.

I sat at the table, smell of chicken cooking wafting over me. He had his back to me; he was wearing flannel pyjama pants and a white wife beater.

"You don't need to talk about her if you don't to," I said quietly.

He turned to look at me, surprised expression on his face. "I didn't hear you there."

I smiled at him, but didn't say anything.

"Edward never talked about her?" he asked, then seemed to answer his own question. "No-he was too young to really remember her. She was…she was so different. Any other woman who I had encountered before her-and you-just wanted me for my money. But Esme…she wasn't in it for the money. She didn't care about what I did for a living. She loved me for me. I can remember her face when we adopted Emmett; I knew she would want more…that was when we adopted Alice and Edward. The three of them are biologically related-as you already know-Alice and Edward are twins." He took a deep breath. "She loved those kids so much. She was destined to be a mother." He took the chicken out of the pan, and handed me a plate. He sat down across from me at the table with his own plate. "I was working the night she…the night she died."

Oh no, no, no, this would be too hard for him.

"They brought her into ER and it…it didn't register to me that it was her at first," he said. He was lost in the memories, and I found myself trying to hold back the tears. I covered his hands with mine.

"You don't have to go on," I said. "I can see how hard this is for you, Carlisle, it's okay."

He looked relieved. "Thank you Bella."

"No, thank you," I said.

"No," he said, shaking his head. "I've never spoken about her like that to anyone. Thank you for listening."


	41. Chapter 41: Treat

**AN: Just wanted to wish you all a happy holiday! Hope you guys all have a good one **** Enjoy this chapter, and just a reminder that this story(/chapter) contains MA content**

**Chapter 41: Treat**

After my heavy conversation with Carlisle yesterday, I didn't quite know what to do with myself while he was at work. I wondered what my life would be like if Esme were still alive. Would I still be with Edward? Would I have the feelings that I have for Carlisle?

For some reason, I doubted it. He obviously wouldn't feel the same way about me.

That is obviously to be expected, but I couldn't help but be sad about it. I mean, my life would be _so _different if she was still alive. Carlisle opened up an entirely new world to me, and I could never thank him enough for it. But, would his life be better without me? He had never loved a woman as much as he had loved her, I could see that just from how he spoke about her. He had been so lost telling me about her; it showed me just how much he missed her, and it made my heart squeeze uncomfortably.

I didn't want to think like this, but I couldn't help but wonder if Carlisle would be happier if she were still alive. I knew that he was happy with me, he had told me that numerous times, but would he be happier with her?

I halted those thoughts immediately. He wouldn't want me thinking like this. We made each other happy, even though the circumstances weren't the best. Sure Carlisle would probably be happier with her, but he was with me now. It was him and I now, and I would make the best of that.

I wanted to do something nice for Carlisle; I just wasn't sure what that was yet. I left the apartment, trying to decide something. I didn't know if I wanted this surprise to be sexual or not; it was hard to decide. We had done quite a lot together-I wanted to do something new.

I went into a salon, and arranged to get waxed-everywhere. I was used to shaving, but I was tired of it. It was tedious to do, and sometimes I'd nick myself…and that wasn't good, especially when Carlisle and I were having our fun. After I was all nice and smooth, I wandered around, still wondering what to do. The waxing had been more for me than for him-though I knew he'd enjoy it, I still wanted to do something more for him. I was walking downtown, and a sex shop caught my eye.

_Hmm, this could be interesting._

I went inside and I was greeted by a woman salesperson.

"Hello is there anything I can help you with?" she asked smiling warmly at me. She was really pretty and had flaming red hair that contrasted her pale skin gorgeously.

"Well…I don't exactly know," I admitted sheepishly.

She chuckled. "Don't worry, that happens a lot in here. Do you have any idea as to what you're in here for?"

"I want to surprise my er…" I trailed off. Boyfriend seemed like too loose a term for what Carlisle and I were, but how else could I explain it? I felt like boyfriend sounded too immature, and that what we had went a lot deeper than just your average boyfriend, but still. "My boyfriend."

"Did you have anything in particular in mind?" she asked.

I shook my head. "No idea."

"Well, we have a variety of costumes and toys available. We also have a lot of restraints. Those are always the big sellers with couples-or with one member who wants to surprise the other," she said. "Come, I'll help you out."

After about an hour in the store, I went back to the apartment, with two bags full of goodies. Carlisle wouldn't be home for a bit, so I had time to get everything ready. As I was getting it all ready, nervousness knotted in my stomach; what if Carlisle didn't like it all?

Well, I was just going to have to deal with that. I prepared the bed, and then slipped into the bathroom to get changed. The irony of the costume would be enough to make him laugh-even if he hated what I had planned. The bed was ready and I was ready.

I heard him come into the apartment, so I perched myself on the bed.

"Bella?" he called.

"In here," I called back. I tried to ignore the nervousness that bubbled in my stomach as I heard him approach the bedroom. He opened the door and took in what I had done. I saw a look of amusement and-was that hunger?-on his face.

"You look…" he trailed off, seemingly unable to find the right word. He came towards me, and then stopped, noticing the bed. "Is that…?"

"It is," I said. "I did a little shopping today. I picked up some other things, too." I motioned to the bedside table.

"So, how exactly does this work?" he motioned to the corner of the bed.

"Well, I just slip my foot in here like this," I said, slipping my foot in the loop. "And then pull like this to tighten it." I pulled and felt the material tighten around my ankle.

"That's very…"

"Kinky?" I asked, grinning and raising a brow. I slipped my foot through the other loop on the other side of the bed, so my legs were spread wide. I felt the latex of the hem of my dress strain slightly against my thighs. "You're completely in control, Carlisle," I said, slipping my hands through the loops at the top of the bed.

He kneeled onto the bed, and grabbed something from the bedside table.

"Completely in control, eh?" he asked seductively. I nodded, feeling heat and wetness pool between my legs. He slipped the blindfold I had placed on the bedside table over my eyes so I was completely blind. I felt his hands roam my body; they skated over the latex of my outfit. It had a zipper down the front for easier access, and the sleeves also had zippers. Carlisle slowly unzipped the main zipper on it, and I could hear it so well; it was like my senses were heightened. The sound of the zipper being undone ripped through the air and practically crackled between us like a fire. I could feel how close he was to me, and it turned me on even _more_. When the dress was completely unzipped, I heard his sharp intake of breath as he realized I hadn't been wearing anything underneath the dress. His hands skimmed over my body, and I felt myself immediately react to him. It was weird only being able to move about an inch before the restraints tightened and I couldn't move.

I was super aware of how close he was to me, but it was weird not knowing exactly where he was or what he was going to do. I wanted to reach out for him, but I couldn't move my hands. Then, I felt his mouth against my nipple. I gasped at the feeling of it, and then felt one of his hands making its way down my body. His finger circled around my clit and I moaned. I felt my hips jerk up to meet his hand, only to be snapped right back down against the bed as I had tried to move too far up. Carlisle slipped one finger inside me and I had to fight hard against the urge to try and reach for him. I clenched my hands into fists, feeling my nails bite into the palms of my hands. The feeling of Carlisle's mouth against my nipple paired with his fingers working away at me was enough to drive me over the edge. I cried out as I came around his fingers, and felt the waves of my orgasm roll through me.

I heard Carlisle's throaty chuckle, and his mouth came away from my nipple. For a few moments there wasn't any physical contact between us, but then I felt his mouth between my legs. Anticipation welled up deep inside me. He took my clit into his mouth and sucked hard, while he slid a finger inside me again. He very leisurely slid his finger in and out of me, making me yearn for more. I heard a faint click, and then a low buzzing. Before I realized what he had in his hands, I felt the vibrations against my clit. He had picked up one of the vibrators I had bought today. I moaned, calling out his name. I wanted so badly to knot my hands in his hair that it was driving me crazy. I struggled against the restraints, but they wouldn't budge. Carlisle pushed the vibrator into me and I felt the waves of an oncoming orgasm. I fought against the restraints, wanting to touch him. I cried out his name, almost begging to be let out of my restraints.

"Do you really want that?" he asked, voice sounding husky and sexy.

I nodded. "I want to touch you."

I felt him shift and then felt his hands at my wrists. He quickly undid the restraints, all the while leaving the vibrator inside of me, and I felt my orgasm coming even quicker. As soon as my hands were free, I came again. I blindly found him and wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him with all the force I had. I moaned against his mouth as he took the vibrator out of me. He broke away from me to undo the restraints around my ankles.

"I want you inside me," I whispered, pulling him close to me again. He was quiet for a moment, and then I felt his body against mine, and I felt him slide effortlessly into me. I cried out at the contact, and dug my nails into his shoulders. I clamped my mouth against his neck and sucked hard. He pumped in and out of me, making me cry out at the sheer pleasure of it. This man had the power to control my body. With a simple touch he could send me into a frenzy. The feeling of him buried deep inside of me was slowly sending me over the edge, and I clung to him for dear life. I buried my face into his neck as he pounded into me. Then, we shifted, so we were both sitting up, and I was sitting in his lap, straddling his waist, and riding him. I knotted my hands in his air and kissed him. Our tongues swirled together as I rode him. We were in that position until we came together; I felt his hold on me tighten as he came deep inside of me. I dug my nails into his back, crying out his name as I orgasmed for the third time today.

He lay me down on the bed, and took off the blindfold. I blinked rapidly as my eyes adjusted to the light.

"The flight attendant costume was a nice touch," he said, grinning wolfishly at me.

"I knew you'd like it," I giggled, kissing him once more.


	42. Chapter 42: Stay

**Chapter 42: Stay**

I was lying in bed while Carlisle was getting ready for work. He was buttoning up his shirt, when he caught my eye in the mirror and smiled at me. I returned his smile, but my eyes lingered on the hickey that had appeared on his neck after our activities from last night.

He chuckled, realizing what I was staring at. "You got me good."

"It's okay, your collar will cover it."

Once he was done buttoning up his shirt, he grabbed a tie and put it on. I watched as he tied it, and selfishly wished that he didn't have to go to work today. For some reason, I longed for his company today and I didn't want to let go of him. I wanted to him to come back into bed with me, and I wanted him to hold me and cuddle with me. I just wanted him to stay here.

"I wish I could stay here today," he said quietly as if he had been reading my mind.

"So stay," I said without missing a beat.

He chuckled. "Trust me, if I could I would, but I've missed enough work as it is. I'd much rather stay home with you today, Bella. That way we could give the restraints another go." He said that last part with a wink.

I cast a shy smile at him as he finished tying his tie. Sure enough, the collar of his shirt had covered the hickey perfectly. It was completely concealed.

"You know, it's so weird not having to sneak around anymore," I said. "I keep thinking we have to hide away; keep our relationship a secret, but then I remember."

"I know what you mean. It's weird not having to hide this anymore. It's much less stressful."

"Oh come on," I teased. "I wasn't all _that_ stressful, was I?"

"It almost wasn't worth it," he teased right back. I loved it when he was in a playful mood like this. It made me feel like everything would always be okay.

"The feeling is mutual," I said sarcastically. "I mean, I almost settled for Mike Newton over you. Much less stress that way, ya know?"

He playfully jumped on me and planted a kiss on my cheek. "I don't think I could have lived with myself if you had done that."

"I don't want you to go to work," I said. "Call in sick; stay with me."

"I wish I could."

"Go to work," I said, trying to sound as miserable as possible and pushing him off of me. "If you don't go now, you never will." He bent down and kissed me once more and then said goodbye and left the apartment. When he was gone, I lay back in bed and blew all the air out of my lungs. Now what was I going to do? I rolled over in the bed, and hugged a pillow close to me. I was bored.

I dozed a little bit in the morning, but then I couldn't stand lying in bed anymore. I got out of bed and made myself some breakfast. I made my way to the couch and sat on it with my toast. I got comfortable and turned on the TV. I found a horror movie to watch but didn't catch the end of it because I had fallen asleep partway through it.

When I woke up, I could hear that Carlisle was moving around in the kitchen. The smell of cooking meat assaulted my nostrils and made my stomach growl.

"What's cooking?" I asked, poking my head in the kitchen.

"I wanted to surprise you," he said. "It's steak, with mashed potatoes and broccoli."

"It smells delicious."

"Thank you, love," he said, smiling warmly at me.

"I missed you today," I said.

"I missed you too."

"How was work?" I asked.

"It was long," he said. "Long and tiring. How was your day?"

"Boring," I said. "Well, actually, I slept for most of the day so it wasn't that bad."

"Consider yourself lucky," he said, smiling wryly at me.

I went up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist. I rested my head against his back, just below his shoulder blades. I felt him take a deep breath, and cover my hands with his. He rubbed my hands and my arms. I felt so comfortable just standing here with him.

"You alright, love?" he asked.

I nodded. "I'm fine, I just missed being in your arms today, that's all."

"Well tomorrow I have the day off, so you've got me all day."

"You have _no_ idea how happy that makes me," I said with a grin.

"Oh, I think I know."

I took my arms away from him and sat at the table. Why was I so unwilling to let go of him? I loved being around him for obvious reasons, but today I was so unwilling to be away from him it was unreal.

"Can we just lay in bed all day tomorrow?" I asked.

He chuckled. "If that's what you want."

"Oh it is," I said. "We don't necessarily have to do anything; just lying in your arms will be enough for me. I just want to be with you."

"Trust me, I know the feeling," he said, putting a plate of steak in front of me.

Once we were done, I helped him wash the dishes, and at one point he splashed me.

I cocked an eyebrow at him. "You wanna play like that, do you?"

"Why, I don't have the faintest idea what you're talking about," he said innocently, not meeting my eyes and continuing to rinse off a plate.

"Oh, really?" I asked, filling a cup with soapy water, and splashing it on him. Needless to say, it erupted from there and by the end of it we were both soaked. I looked down at the floor to see soap and water everywhere. I grinned wolfishly at him.

"That was very immature of you," he chided lightly, unable to mask the huge smile on his face.

"You started it," I complained, still grinning at him. "You know you're going to have to clean that up, right?"

He chuckled. "That can wait."

And with that, he scooped me into his arms and carried me into the bedroom.


	43. Chapter 43: Shock

**Chapter 43: Shock**

I had been dreaming that I was on a beach with Carlisle and we were just lying there on a beach towel soaking up the sun together, when I awoke to the sound of his phone ringing. At first I thought it was part of my dream, but then when I opened my eyes I realized it was still ringing. I looked over at him to see that he was still out cold, which was surprising to me because normally he could hear his phone from a mile away, even when he was asleep. Normally, I wouldn't look at his phone–I mean, _hello psycho girlfriend_–but I wanted it to stop ringing so I could go back to sleep, so I took it off the nightstand and went to press the button to send it to his voicemail, when I saw that it was Alice who was calling.

My brow furrowed and I answered it in a hushed voice so I wouldn't wake him. "Alice?"

"Oh, hey Bella is my dad there?" she asked.

"He's still asleep," I said.

"Oh! I had wanted to catch him before he went to work, but I forgot he always takes his birthday off."

"What?" I whispered in shock, feeling my stomach drop.

"What?" Alice repeated.

"Alice…today's his birthday?"

I could almost see her nodding. "Yes, Bella, you didn't know that?"

"It…it never came up," I whispered, feeling guilt course through me. _How had I never asked him when his birthday was? How had that never come up between us? _"Alice, I have to go, I'll get him to call you when he wakes up."

"Alright, bye Bella," she said.

"Bye Alice." I ended the call and got out of bed, making as little noise as possible. I rushed out to the kitchen and wracked my brain trying to think of what I could do for him. Obviously I couldn't go out and buy him something; I didn't have enough time for that–he'd probably wake up before I got back. I pulled out two frying pans and put them on the stove and turned on the burners. I cooked eggs and bacon on them and made toast. I put everything on a plate and made my way into our bedroom. The smell of hot food must have woken him up, because as soon as I went into the room he opened his eyes.

"What's all this?" he asked. He sat up so I handed him the plate and cutlery.

"Alice called to wish you a happy birthday," I said quietly. "She wants you to call her back."

I noticed a slight look of hesitation on his face before he said, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Bella. It's just that I never like doing anything for my birthday."

"It would've been nice to know, though," I said.

"I know," he said. "And I'm sorry for that, I really am.

"It's okay," I said. "I know now, and that's all that matters."

"Seriously, Bella, I don't want anything for it," he said.

"I'm not going to let this pass like it's nothing," I said stubbornly.

He sighed. "We'll go out for dinner tonight, deal?"

"Are you going to let me pay?" I asked.

He looked like he was going to say no, but at my cocked eyebrow he said, "If you insist."

"I do."

He sighed again. "Fine, I'll let you pay."

I smiled smugly at him. "Good, now eat your breakfast before it gets cold and all my hard work goes to waste."

"Yes, _mother_," he said sarcastically, smiling wryly at me.

I smacked his arm playfully. "That's not funny."

"I found it pretty humorous," he said with a grin.

"Coming from you, old man?" I teased.

"Those are fighting words," he warned lightly.

"I'm in a fighting mood," I said, grinning at him.

"Is that right?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow at me.

"Yes," I said, unable to keep the grin off my face.

"Hmm, maybe after breakfast we can _fight_ a little more." He winked at me.

"Ooh, I like the sound of that," I said.

When he was finished eating his breakfast, I took his plate and cutlery out to the kitchen for him.

"Bella, I'm going to hop into the shower," Carlisle said.

"Alright," I said. Then, an idea popped into my head. I waited until I heard the water running in the shower, before I very quietly opened the bathroom door and peeled my clothes off. I opened the shower curtain and slipped into the shower behind him. I reached up to his shoulders and started massaging him. It was obvious I had startled him from the slight jump he did and his sharp intake of breath, but then he relaxed almost immediately.

He took a deep breath, and I could tell he was completely at ease. I traced my hands down his arms and then around his chest and stomach. He turned around so he was facing me and I saw lust laced deep within his eyes, and I'm sure it was mirrored in my eyes. He grasped my face in his hands and kissed me with enough force to drown me. He pressed me up against the wall of the shower, and his erection pressed into my thigh. I moaned into his mouth and knotted my hands in his hair. I needed him.

He broke away from my mouth, and turned me around. I bent forward, bracing my hands against the shower wall. Desire coursed through my veins as he teased me ever so slightly, and I felt myself surge back against him, as if my body wasn't even under my control anymore. Well, I already knew that my body completely belonged to him. It was as if he could drive me into a frenzy just by running a hand along my arm.

I heard him chuckle. "Someone's eager."

His hands roamed my body, skating over my back and hips. Before I could totally grasp what was happening, he was inside me. I cried out at the sensation of the warm water from the shower head pelting my back and him pumping in and out of me. I met his every thrust with a very enthusiastic thrust backwards of my own. We moved in perfect harmony with one another. He began to pick up speed and so did I. soon I was on the edge, and I felt myself tighten around him. He began pounding into me even harder, and it was enough to drive me over the edge, with him following soon behind.

Bliss was the only thing I felt as we lay wrapped around each other in bed with our limbs tangled together. After we had gotten out of the shower, we dried each other off, and he had wrapped me up in a big fluffy towel and carried me into the bedroom. I had tied my hair back in a tight bun so I wouldn't get the bed sheets soaking wet, and we just lay together in perfect bliss.

He had an arm wrapped tightly around me, and I was leaning against him. I closed my eyes, feeling as though we lived in our own little bubble apart from the outside world. It felt like we were cut off from everyone else, but in a good way.

All in all, I was happy to have Forks behind me. I considered it in the past. _This _was my life now. Carlisle was my life.

Of course that little bubble was popped. My phone rang on the nightstand, making both of us jump. I pulled my phone off the little table and saw that my mom was calling. My stomach lurched. Was something wrong? My mother didn't just call me out of the blue for any reason.

"Mom?" I asked nervously as I picked up. Carlisle sent a worried look my way, but didn't say anything.

"Hey honey!" she said. The tone of her voice made me relax immediately–she sounded happy.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Phil had to come to Toronto for business, and I decided to come with him! We can have some girl time," she said.

"That's great," I said, trying to sound as enthusiastic as possible. It wasn't that I didn't want to see her; it was that the timing wasn't exactly convenient. "When…when do you get here?"

"We're already here in our hotel. I'd love to see you," she said.

I hesitated, and then I carefully said, "Could we maybe go for lunch somewhere tomorrow? How long are you here for?"

"We leave Saturday," she said.

That was three days away. I'm sure we'd see each other plenty of times before then. "Okay, so tomorrow is good?"

"Well, I'd rather see you tonight," she said. I could almost see her pursing her lips.

"Me too, Mom," I said. I really didn't want to say this in front of Carlisle, because I knew he'd immediately offer to postpone his birthday dinner tonight, but I had no choice. "It's just that…well, today's Carlisle's birthday, and I'm taking him out for dinner tonight."

He gave me a pointed look that told me he was willing to put it off so I glowered at him and looked away. He wasn't getting out of this tonight.

"Oh! Okay," she said. I could tell she wasn't too upset about it. "Tell him happy birthday from us, and I'll see you tomorrow, alright?"

"Alright," I said. "Bye Mom, love you."

"Love you too," she said and the line went dead.

"We could've postponed tonight," he said as soon as I had put my phone back on the nightstand.

"I knew you'd say that," I said.

"But it's truthful," he said. "You should call her back and tell her that you're okay to meet up tonight."

"You aren't getting out of this," I said. He opened his mouth to continue, but I stopped him. "I know you. You're going to keep putting it off, or blame work for keeping you late so we won't be able to go. It's tonight or never, and we both know that. I'm not going to let your birthday pass without anything because I already feel bad enough that I didn't even know today was your birthday in the first place. Let me take you out to dinner, please, Carlisle."

"You don't need to feel bad about it," he said gently. "But if it really means that much to you…"

"It does," I said without missing a beat."

"Okay," he said. "We'll go."


	44. Chapter 44: Visit

**AN: Sorry I meant to write this on the last chapter! I'm so so so so **_**so so so **_**sorry for taking so long to update. I had literally ben stuck on that chapter for **_**months**_** and I'm still not really happy with how it turned out. I **_**promise**_** to never take that long again! Thank you guys so much for reading! **

**Chapter 44: Visit**

"How are you doing, Bella?" Renee asked, watching me eat my pasta at lunch the next day.

"I'm doing pretty well," I said. "How are you and Phil?"

"We're fine," she said. "But, are you doing okay?"

"Mom, I'm fine," I said. "I promise."

"How was Carlisle's birthday dinner?"

I felt my face heat, and I tried not to let my embarrassment show too much. On the way home from dinner (which I had paid for and also got the waiters and waitresses to sing to him) we pulled over and had a little _fun_ in the car as a little extra birthday gift to him. Just thinking about it made me feel weak in the knees.

"It was fine," I said. "Nothing too fancy. He didn't really want anything. I only found out it was his birthday by accident yesterday morning."

"I think the four of us should go out somewhere," she said.

"I don't know," I said. "Carlisle works pretty long hours. His schedule is pretty hectic."

She pursed her lips. "I just feel like I don't know him at all. I can tell he's treating you well–I can see it clear as day on your face–but I feel like I _should_ be more concerned."

"Mom, there's nothing to be concerned about," I said. "I promise. I know that you don't know him, and I know the age thing is probably a bit scary for you, but trust me. He's okay. He's a really good guy–and I'm not just saying that. I…I'm happier than I've ever been. He makes me happy."

She smiled and I could tell she was trying to hold back tears. "You love him, don't you?"

I nodded. "I do."

"And he loves you," she said. "From what I saw at your dad's funeral, he really does. The way he looked at you…I could only see love."

"He does," I confirmed.

"I'm happy for you, honey," she said.

"Mom…I need to tell you something," I said quietly.

Her smile faded and concern clouded her features. "What is it?"

"The reason we moved out here…" I trailed off, took a deep breath, and continued. "I…I was pregnant."

I let the words fill the air between us, and I couldn't meet her eyes as I waited for her to say something. I could almost taste the tension between us.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," she said.

My eyes snapped up to hers, and in her eyes I saw tears and understanding, and then it was like floodgates had opened up inside me and I just poured everything out. "I didn't know how to tell you. I was scared–I was especially afraid to tell Charlie. I knew he'd want Carlisle's head on a platter, so I didn't tell him before I left. Then, once I got here, we found out that I…that I lost it. Then, soon after that was when Charlie had the heart attack, and when I went back to Forks I knew I had to tell him what had happened. Mom, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you."

She covered my hands with hers. "You don't need to be sorry. I know how hard it is. After your dad and I split and Phil and I got together, I actually–well I was pregnant. Actually, this was just after you moved in with Charlie. Then, six weeks after I found out I was pregnant, I went for a check-up and found out I had lost it."

"Oh my God, Mom, why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

She smiled sadly at me. "Probably for the same reason that you didn't tell me until now."

I was quiet and took another forkful of pasta. How odd that I now felt closer to my mom since she had shared that with me than I had felt with her in years.

"How's Jacob?" she asked.

My eyes snapped up to meet hers, and I felt my face darken. "Why?"

I could tell she was taken aback. "I just know that you two were close…did something happen?"

I took a deep breath. "Not too long ago, I…I went back to Forks for a little bit. Something happened between Carlisle and me, and I had to get out of here, so I went back to Forks and stayed with Jacob. Then, about a week after I got there, I knew I had to come back and make it right with him, and when I got here, he wasn't here, so I went back to Forks. Meanwhile, Carlisle had been to Forks to find me, and had gone to Jacob's house, but we had just missed each other, so he came back here hoping I'd be here. But when I went back to Jake's, he didn't tell me that Carlisle had been to Forks to find me. But then Carlisle found me at Jacob's house and we sorted everything out and we're fine again." I blew all the air out of my lungs and leaned back in my chair.

Mom watched me carefully. "You haven't spoken to Jacob since then, have you?"

I shook my head. "No…I was so mad at him I could barely look at him."

"Do you miss him?"

I hesitated. To be honest, I hadn't really thought much about Jacob since that night. Did I miss him? I wasn't too sure. "I don't…I don't know."

"Bella, it would be completely natural to miss him. He was a big part of your life. Don't feel guilty because of it. Maybe you should give him a call."

I shrugged. "Maybe. I don't know. Am I being too hard on him?"

"If my friend did that to me, I don't know if I'd be able to forgive them," she said. "Especially since Jacob thought that he would have a shot with you if he just didn't tell you about Carlisle going there to find you."

"That's exactly why I'm so upset about it!" I said. "It wasn't just that he had forgotten to tell me that Carlisle had shown up at his house, he literally had no intent on telling me that Carlisle had been there. He hoped that I would've just given up and never thought about Carlisle again."

"Were you going to?" she asked gently.

I took a deep breath. "When I got back here to an empty apartment…I thought we were done for sure. I had basically just accepted that we were done, so yeah; I guess I had just given up. And Jacob knew that and used it to his advantage."

She pursed her lips and looked at me carefully. "That hurt you a lot, didn't it?"

I nodded. "I thought I could trust him. I mean, I know he didn't like Carlisle and I together, but I didn't think he'd outright lie to me so that he could be with me instead of Carlisle. I mean, that's just cruel."

"I know it is," she said. "But, speaking of you being with Carlisle, how exactly did that come about?"

_Oh boy, here we go_, I thought. "Well…it started when I was still dating Edward–I know it's bad–and I started…er…getting feelings for Carlisle. So I approached him about it and he agreed, and it's just erupted since then."

"Wow," she breathed. "I know I should probably be a bit more upset because of the age difference, but I can see how happy he makes you. I can see it in your eyes. Honey, I'm so happy for you."

I smiled warmly at her. "I can see how happy Phil makes you–and I'm happy for you, Mom."

She smiled, and I could tell she was getting a little teary eyed. "Oh look at us, we're both so in love!"

And it was true. The two of us were just hopelessly in love with the men of our dreams.


	45. Chapter 45: Fear

**Warning: This chapter contains severe adult themes and may be difficult for some to read.**

**Chapter 45: Fear**

Saying bye to Renee was harder than I had expected it to be. Carlisle and I had driven her and Phil to the airport and I had gone inside to say by to them. She hugged me tightly and I had to fight against the tears that threatened to surface. I hated crying in front of other people but seeing the tears in my mom's eyes made me want to weep.

"You and Carlisle should come visit us, okay?" she asked, obviously trying to hold back her tears.

I nodded. "We'll try."

"I'll call when we land," she said.

"Bye Mom," I said. "Have a safe trip."

She hugged me one last time and whispered in my ear, "I can tell he treats you right. Don't let go of him, Bella, he's good for you."

"Thanks, Mom," I said, holding on to her for as long as possible.

We let go of each other and she was fanning her face. "Go, before we both start bawling our eyes out."

I smiled at her and Phil. "Bye guys."

With one last wave, I turned and left my mom and step-dad standing in the airport. I blinked away the tears in my eyes before I got to the car where Carlisle was waiting for me. I slid into the front seat and sent him a weak smile.

"Are you alright?" he asked as he started driving.

I nodded. "I'm fine, just sad to see her go."

"That's understandable," he said.

"She approves of you," I said.

I saw a smile tug at his lips but his eyes never left the road. "Does she?"

"She told me to not let you go and that you're good for me."

He chuckled. "Well, when you were helping Phil carry their bags out she sat in here and told me that if I hurt you she'll have my head on a platter but also that she thinks that I'm good for you."

I grinned. "Does this relieve you?"

"Tremendously."

I grasped his hand as he drove. It felt like my mom's approval of him had lifted a weight off his shoulders. I knew it had been hard for him when Charlie hadn't approved of our relationship, so having Renee's approval made him so much more at ease. He seemed lighter almost.

The next day was one of the worst days of my life. It was a day that haunted me for years to come.

Carlisle was at work, so I decided to go for a walk. I ended up in a mall and roamed around. I was bored and Carlisle still wasn't due home for hours. There was a movie theatre in the mall, so since I had nothing better to do I decided to catch a movie. I saw a comedy, but that's all I can really remember about the movie itself.

I stumbled out of the theatre, legs stiff after sitting for so long. I pulled my phone out of my purse to see that it was eight o'clock at night. I was surprised at how quickly the time had passed. Carlisle had called me, so I called him back, assuring him that I would be home soon. He offered to pick me up and drive me home, but I told him I could walk.

I should've had him pick me up.

I was walking down the street, having only the streetlights as a light source. It was cold and I had to pull my jacket close to me to keep warm. I wasn't sure how long it was until I noticed I was being followed. I happened to glance back to see a man walking just five feet away from me. He was tall–much taller than me–and for a split second I thought it was Carlisle because he had blond hair just like Carlisle's, but then I saw his face and knew it wasn't him.

My stomach lurched, but I tried not to get too nervous. I wasn't far from the apartment. I just had a few more blocks to go, then I'd have to turn a corner and I'd be able to see the apartment building. Maybe this man wasn't following me; maybe he just happened to be walking in the same direction. I started walking a bit quicker.

He did too.

That was when I knew. I knew he was following me and he was getting closer and closer. I looked around. There was no one except the two of us, which was surprising. We lived in a pretty busy area, and it wasn't _that_ late at night. Where was everyone?

I rooted through my purse, trying to find my keys and that was my fatal mistake. The man grabbed me from behind and covered my mouth with his hand to stop me from screaming and pulled me into an alleyway. I tried to bite at his hand but it was clamped so firmly on my mouth that I couldn't even open it. He turned me around and pushed me forcefully against the wall. I was stuck between him and the wall. He was holding both my wrists in one hand and had the rest of his body pinning me against the wall. From the position I was in, I could feel that he was aroused. And that was when I knew. I knew he didn't want whatever was in my purse. He wanted _me_. I tried to struggle against him but it was no use. He had me in an iron grip.

My purse was on the ground to my left and there was no one around to help me.

The man, with his hand still firmly clamped on my mouth, began sucking on my neck. I felt useless. I needed to get out of here, but I couldn't move. He took his hand away from my wrists and stuck his hand up my shirt, below the layers of my sweater and jacket. He squeezed and pinched at my breasts, but I used the freedom of my hands to my advantage. I clawed at his hand on my mouth. If I could just get his hand off my mouth I could yell for help.

A chuckle rumbled deep in his throat. "Feisty, aren't we?"

He took his hand away from my mouth to grab my wrists again and pin my hands above my head. I sucked in a breath to scream but he crushed his mouth against mine before I could. I bit his lip, but I could only guess that it wasn't nearly as hard as I had intended it to be, because he barely flinched. He took his hand out from under my shirt and moved down to the waistband of my leggings.

Tears sprang to my eyes and I wished that someone would walk by and help.

His hand slipped into my leggings and into my panties. Throughout it all he never took his hand away from my wrists or his mouth off of mine. He stroked my most private area and I struggled to get away from him but he was pressed flush against me. I tried to clamp my legs together but he just put his leg between mine, so he was almost holding me up on his leg. He took his hand out of my leggings, and began fumbling with his own pants. I heard the whir of a zipper crackle through the air between us and stiffened. The bare skin of his cock was now pressed against my stomach and I knew what was coming next.

He pulled my leggings and panties away from my hips in one fluid motion.

"Whoa, what the fuck are you doing?" demanded a voice. I idly realized that I recognized the voice, but it didn't register with me who it was. The man took his hands away from me and ran off but I could only pull my leggings back up before dropping to the ground and hugging my knees to my chest.

"Hey, are you okay?" the voice who saved me asked. He was slowly walking towards me, letting me know he wasn't a threat.

"Thank you, I don't know what would have happened if…" I tried off; finally registering who it was that had saved me. My eyes widened in shock. "Jacob?"


	46. Chapter 46: Carry Me

**Chapter 46: Carry Me**

"Bella?" Jacob knelt in front of me. "Jesus, are you alright?"

"I'm...I'm okay. What are you doing here?" My mind was whirling. I still hadn't fully registered that of all people, _Jacob Black_ was standing here in front of me.

"We'll get to that later. What the hell happened?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but was interrupted by my phone ringing. I glanced down at it in my purse and saw that Carlisle was calling. My lip began trembling as I answered.

"Where are you?" he asked urgently.

"I'm…" I trailed off and Jacob took the phone from me.

In a surprisingly gentle voice he said, "It's Jacob Black, I found Bella in an alleyway…she'll explain what happened when she gets home. I'll bring her in if you'll buzz me in to the building?" He paused while Carlisle spoke and I tried to stop my hands from shaking. "I think she'd want to be the one to tell you what happened." He paused again. "I'll get her to tell me where you live and I'll bring her in, okay?" He paused and allowed Carlisle to speak again before curtly saying, "Yes", and hanging up the phone. He handed it back to me and I put it in my purse. "Can you walk?"

I hesitated and then said, "I-I think so."

I shakily got to my feet and Jacob immediately steadied me. "Come on, Bells, let's get you home." As we walked through the streets he supported my weight, half carrying me the whole way there. I told him which way it was to the apartment building and we walked there in silence. There was nothing I could think to say if I even wanted to speak. It was like my mind had gone completely blank.

I felt numb as I tried to make sense of what had happened. I couldn't wrap my mind around it, so I tried to think of other things. Like why Jacob was here.

"Why are you here, again?" I whispered.

I noticed his hesitation, but he said, "I wanted to talk to you. Doing it over the phone wouldn't have done it. When I saw…what I just saw, I was heading to my hotel."

"What did you want to talk to me about?" I asked.

He hesitated again before saying, "Bella, now is really not the time. Give me a call tomorrow when you're feeling a bit…better, okay? You still have my number, right?"

"Yeah, I do," I mumbled. We had reached the apartment and Jacob called up to get buzzed in. in the back of my mind I felt like it was silly to have Carlisle buzz us in. I had my keys in my purse, but for some reason I was finding it hard to say anything. On the elevator ride up to our floor, I felt my knees buckle beneath me and Jacob's arms came underneath them and he caught me before I could hit the floor. I clung to his jacket, thankful that Jacob was so sturdy and beyond grateful that he was here. After what had happened between us I didn't think I could ever be happy to see him again, but after what had happened tonight…

I shuddered and Jacob tightened his hold on me. The elevator doors opened and he murmured, "It's okay, you're almost home," and carried me out of the elevator and down the hall. He knocked on the door of the apartment and Carlisle opened it. I didn't quite catch the expression on his face before he held his arms for me and Jacob handed me over. I burrowed my face in his neck and didn't pay attention to what they said to each other. Neither of them sounded angry, which I guessed was an improvement to how they normally acted around each other. Carlisle closed the door of the apartment and sat with me cradled in his lap on the couch. I clung to the collar of his shirt for dear life, feeling like he was my only hold on sanity.

"Bella, what happened?" he asked gently, brushing a piece of hair away from my face. Tears pooled in my eyes and I shook my head, burrowing my face in his neck again. "Jacob didn't…he didn't do anything, did he?"

"No," I whispered. "No, Jacob was the one who helped me."

"Talk to me, love, it's okay, I've got you. You're safe now."

I took a deep breath and as I met his eyes everything came pouring out of me. I began crying again partway through the story and didn't stop until I got to the part about Jacob finding me. Carlisle was absolutely silent. You could hear a pin drop in the room apart from my sniffling. I glanced up at him to see him looking absolutely thunderous. I cringed against his look and burrowed my face into his neck again.

"I'm sorry," I whimpered. "I'm so, so, so sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" he asked in a tight voice. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I should've let you come get me."

"Bella, look at me," he said gently, tilting my face up to his. "This was not your fault. If anything it was mine for not picking you up."

"No," I whispered, gripping his shirt tightly. "Please don't blame yourself for this, please Carlisle, don't."

He ran a hand through his hair and quietly said. "We should report this."

"I don't even know what he looked like," I said. "I saw his face for, like, a second."

"That doesn't matter," he said. "The police could do something to find him; there may have been more cases like this. We'll go first thing in the morning."

"Don't you have work?" I asked quietly, not letting go of his shirt. I felt anxiety creep up the back of my neck at the sheer thought of him being away from me.

"I think I'm going to take the day off," he said, running a hand through my hair.

"No, you shouldn't do that," I mumbled, still not loosening my grip on his shirt.

He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "I'm going to stay with you. Come on, let's get you into bed." He lifted me off the couch and carried me into the bedroom. He handed me the sweatpants and tank top that I usually slept in and I cradled them against my chest. Carlisle sat beside me on the bed and pulled me close to him. "Do you want anything to eat or drink?"

I shook my head. "No, thanks, though, I just want to be with you."

He tightened his hold on me slightly, and said, "I'm not going anywhere, I promise." He pressed a soft kiss to the top of my head, helped me get changed, and then held me in his arms as we slept the night away.


End file.
